UGH!!!!! *&^$#*&^!@*+"? (cursing!!!)
I have been feeling like I am back in High School lately. I did it once and that was more than enough. The experience of dealing with girls/ladies/grown women can be challenging and very confusing to me. Seems weird since I am one of them???
I recently became part of a crazy weird situation and now feel ostrasized for a reason I am not sure of. I don't think I did anything but I apprently pissed them off in some way or I am not possibly good enough to be their friend (yeah right).
After everything that has happened in my family's world in the last three years these were the people who were supposed to understand and be there to support each other. It is so insane, but I can't get it out of my head. I want to know what has happened and if it is a misunderstanding straighten it out and if not know where I stand so I can be there in my own defense. It is so disheartening. Women can be so petty and mean!
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy
A FAMILY WOUNDED BY WAR This is our story of continued determination even after a 4 year journey as a wounded family! We have faith, hope,love while learning to live with our "NEW" normal and healing from the wounds no one can see!
Showing posts with label personal struggles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal struggles. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Name calling!
Definition from Wikipedia of WHITE TRASH:
White trash is a pejorative term targeted at lower social class white people with poor prospects and/or low levels of education. To call someone white trash is to accuse a white person of being economically, educationally and/or culturally bankrupt. White trash should be differentiated from the more socially acceptable term Redneck, as each has a unique historical etymology and context in modern usage. While white trash is most commonly used as a pejorative, low- to middle-income rural whites often self-identify as rednecks.
Why in the world would I be posting starting out with a definition about White Trash???
Actually never thought I would, but when there has been words said insinuating to the fact that I am white trash I get a little curious as to what the exact definition is. Wouldn't you?
I have my own ideas-never would call someone that-it would be hurtful don't you think?
So I turn to wikipedia which never lets me down (unlike people who I thought actually cared about me and my kids)!-Do I sound bitter?? I think I might be just a tad??
I know I am being vague so lets just put it out there...comments appreciated!
I want to say upfront I respect my husband for being a soldier and for his sacrifices.
I have always stuck by his decision to serve and do what I had to do to keep this family going in his absence and after he was hurt. Did I fight for him? Hell yeah! I would do it again in the right circumstances. Thing is just because someone does something brave and has a purple heart doesn't give them privilege to treat others badly. So I am not trashing Rodney I am just trying to tell our story which includes some of the things below that just happen to be part of it.
12/03/2008 Last night was not a good night at my house but pretty par for the course as of late.
I haven't mentioned it because I felt it was my job to deal with and fix the situation.
Rodney has been having many issues including alcohol abuse-he has had a DUI in the last couple months. Said that was life changing-guess not enough to make him stop. He has been working with a friend of ours who is an attorney, but not to the point where he is actually fully communicating with her. He is supposed to be getting treatment-has stopped and started.
He decided to seek it through the VA and has talked about going inpatient. I believe that is what he needs but it is his choice-his deal. Well yesterday I get the mail and open it-it said he was losing his license to drive for a year?? I called him at work and of course none of it was his fault-so the old not owning up to his mistakes and taking care of them-Don't understand it and I am fed up with it! I am doing him no favors by allowing him to continue down this road of self-destruction and take me and the kids with him
So last night he is basically pissed off at the entire world-including making those of us that live with him MISERABLE and being abusive with his words. I warned him-he was acting out of control and too stop-I asked him to go to his mom and dad's, but he chose to belittle me for not having a job and taking child support from my ex for Carley. He then threatened me that if I called the police "I would be SORRY!" Sounds like a threat to me! They came and his mom and dad came and got him-he had been drinking according to the police officer.
Very dramatic and chaotic-but after he left the kids and I had a nice quiet evening-girls made dinner, we watched TV and Connor was a super well behaved kid.
So I guess I am pissed off that his family who are so blind to his problems and how very serious they are. This is really what did it!
I had a message that told me I had problems (first to admit it!! Getting help!!!) and told me what I did was a white trash thing to do. Yeah-well I don't think so-I think it was my way of helping myself and my children. I have been there through thick and thin with Rodney and I will continue to do so if he gets in recovery. Sorry if that makes me WHITE TRASH!
Oh by the way I do have a college education and I can and will get a job-but believe it or not I have things to work through because of this whole having a spouse go to war, get wounded and then being an advocate and caregiver. Without all the extra chaos I can probably find the time now.
What do you all think? Am I living off Rodney and acting like white trash or am I a wife who has been through hell and back trying to help someone who doesn't really want the help?
I want to know?? I am beside myself and pretty confused? Is it right that I have to constantly worry if he is making a decision that will impact our family in a negative way and possibly others if he hurts someone?
Not sure what to do next?? ( I am sure there will be repercussions to this post-but it had to be said I can't pretend all is rosy and wonderful-sorry!)
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy
White trash is a pejorative term targeted at lower social class white people with poor prospects and/or low levels of education. To call someone white trash is to accuse a white person of being economically, educationally and/or culturally bankrupt. White trash should be differentiated from the more socially acceptable term Redneck, as each has a unique historical etymology and context in modern usage. While white trash is most commonly used as a pejorative, low- to middle-income rural whites often self-identify as rednecks.
Why in the world would I be posting starting out with a definition about White Trash???
Actually never thought I would, but when there has been words said insinuating to the fact that I am white trash I get a little curious as to what the exact definition is. Wouldn't you?
I have my own ideas-never would call someone that-it would be hurtful don't you think?
So I turn to wikipedia which never lets me down (unlike people who I thought actually cared about me and my kids)!-Do I sound bitter?? I think I might be just a tad??
I know I am being vague so lets just put it out there...comments appreciated!
I want to say upfront I respect my husband for being a soldier and for his sacrifices.
I have always stuck by his decision to serve and do what I had to do to keep this family going in his absence and after he was hurt. Did I fight for him? Hell yeah! I would do it again in the right circumstances. Thing is just because someone does something brave and has a purple heart doesn't give them privilege to treat others badly. So I am not trashing Rodney I am just trying to tell our story which includes some of the things below that just happen to be part of it.
12/03/2008 Last night was not a good night at my house but pretty par for the course as of late.
I haven't mentioned it because I felt it was my job to deal with and fix the situation.
Rodney has been having many issues including alcohol abuse-he has had a DUI in the last couple months. Said that was life changing-guess not enough to make him stop. He has been working with a friend of ours who is an attorney, but not to the point where he is actually fully communicating with her. He is supposed to be getting treatment-has stopped and started.
He decided to seek it through the VA and has talked about going inpatient. I believe that is what he needs but it is his choice-his deal. Well yesterday I get the mail and open it-it said he was losing his license to drive for a year?? I called him at work and of course none of it was his fault-so the old not owning up to his mistakes and taking care of them-Don't understand it and I am fed up with it! I am doing him no favors by allowing him to continue down this road of self-destruction and take me and the kids with him
So last night he is basically pissed off at the entire world-including making those of us that live with him MISERABLE and being abusive with his words. I warned him-he was acting out of control and too stop-I asked him to go to his mom and dad's, but he chose to belittle me for not having a job and taking child support from my ex for Carley. He then threatened me that if I called the police "I would be SORRY!" Sounds like a threat to me! They came and his mom and dad came and got him-he had been drinking according to the police officer.
Very dramatic and chaotic-but after he left the kids and I had a nice quiet evening-girls made dinner, we watched TV and Connor was a super well behaved kid.
So I guess I am pissed off that his family who are so blind to his problems and how very serious they are. This is really what did it!
I had a message that told me I had problems (first to admit it!! Getting help!!!) and told me what I did was a white trash thing to do. Yeah-well I don't think so-I think it was my way of helping myself and my children. I have been there through thick and thin with Rodney and I will continue to do so if he gets in recovery. Sorry if that makes me WHITE TRASH!
Oh by the way I do have a college education and I can and will get a job-but believe it or not I have things to work through because of this whole having a spouse go to war, get wounded and then being an advocate and caregiver. Without all the extra chaos I can probably find the time now.
What do you all think? Am I living off Rodney and acting like white trash or am I a wife who has been through hell and back trying to help someone who doesn't really want the help?
I want to know?? I am beside myself and pretty confused? Is it right that I have to constantly worry if he is making a decision that will impact our family in a negative way and possibly others if he hurts someone?
Not sure what to do next?? ( I am sure there will be repercussions to this post-but it had to be said I can't pretend all is rosy and wonderful-sorry!)
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy
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