More bad news for our story..

For now I don't know what to say other than we have ran into another roadblock with military inaptness.I cannot even bring myself to try and explain it. It is so absurd!! A wounded soldier is once again being made to jump through hoops to get the care he needs. I received an email today from the Lt. that is assisting us that made me break down in tears and begin to shake. She just told me yesterday this was about us and getting all of this taken care of-she was with us. I don't feel that today. I don't know how to keep doing this-fighting so hard for Rodney. I have run out of people to call to get our story heard because this cannot be normal for all wounded soldiers. if it is someone needs to make sure changes are made...NOW!
I had to call Rod-the news is just more red tape and moving backwards instead of forward. He is supposed to go to his first drill this weekend. He says he isn't going to go. He is tired of being screwed over. I am worried about him. I am worried about me. I am worried about us.
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

What COULD Happen next

I have so much to do today so I just wanted to get on here and let you know that our meeting with Lt. Tipton went very well yesterday. We are a great deal clearer on what is happening, what happened before to cause what is happening now and what we can expect in the near future. Best scenerio I guess is Rodney going back on medhold and having his medical issues completly handled. He would live on post for this so he would be away from home but we can deal with that. Then he would go back to CBHCO-but not out of Arkansas out of Salt Lake. He would only be there for a short time and come back and work close to home until the army decides to medboard him out or keep him with his MOS. Tommorow we head to Leavenworth for a battery of medical exams and I will be his second pair of eyes and ears. We will see what happens after that because he has to be accepted into the program I spoke of earlier. I know very confusing and it affects each of us-changing insurance again back to tricare (we are getting ready to do braces and sinus surgery on Carley)
One day at a time or I would lose my freakin mind. BAHHHHHHH!
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Burden of Proof on the Wounded

Sorry about the pretty picture of my husbands belly!
there is a reason for sharing it on todays post.
Today I intended to write about a subject less frustrating but after dealing with some more military based issues the last few days I really need to VENT.
________________________________________________________________________________
It seems that the 15 months Rodney spent on medhold with CBHCO was pretty much a waste of time. They did not take good care of him-his medical records are missing important documentation, there are items mentioned in the documents that we were not even aware of medically and the biggest issue is he was let out of the program that was supposed to help him become fit for duty before all his medical problems were addressed. We have a Lt. here in Kansas that is working hard on our case-which she says is one of the most messed up she has ever seen. That is pretty much been our entire experience! We know nothing moves quickly in the military system and we need patience but now we have to prove Rodney's issues are a direct result of his being wounded. (ie his hernia along his incision from abdominal surgery he received somewhere in Iraq-a not so pretty scar I might mention that obviously was done in a situation where medical care was done quickly)We want the hernia fixed but we don't have any documentation the surgery ever took place?? Wow-burden of proof on him-a soldier who went to a foreign country and was wounded in the line of duty and was at the mercy of others to take care of him. So he might get put back on medhold if they accept him into the program. We need this to happen so he can have the surgery and recover without having to use sick days from work which I am not even sure he has accrued enough to do so. He wants to be med boarded out because he doesn't feel he can serve the Army as the soldier he was before he was wounded, plus he is tired, but even his cardiologist says he is fit for duty (civilian dr. I might add!)
We just want to move on with our lives-get a house-put this all behind us, but again we wait. There are two sides to this coin: Army and VA.We are dealing with both simultaneously) Waiting for disability ratings that is what the wait is for.
I am thankful we are meeting with the Lt. on Monday and Rodney will see a doc on post Wed. but just so tired of living with knowing we have to stay on this almost daily. We just want to be treated fairly and for everyone to do their jobs! We feel we are doing ours!
Sorry for the pity party post :(
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Saying Good-Bye to Georgia and Welcome Home! 2006

Photos of WELCOME HOME on Nov. 1, 2006
I need to finish what I started and get back on track with the original reason for this blog-at least catch up or I will forever be in 2006 and we are only a couple days away from the NEW YEAR-2008! I will just try and hit the highlights and describe some of the feelings and situations we find ourselves in during this time.

October 30-Nov. 1

10/30

• Started off the day by visiting the Medhold Company that Rodney is attached to here in Georgia. The medhold company seems pretty unorganized from my civilian eyes but obviously I am not the one in charge :) Rodney's platoon leader has been very nice and visited us in Rod's hospital room throughout the stay. We sat in an over-crowded office for over 30 minutes waiting to meet with someone who could tell us what was supposed to happen next-not a new place for us but one that does tend to involve some stress. We did finally find out some info.- Rodney will be able to come home for about a month (the days he spent at the Fisher House are considered part of his convalescence leave) and then return to Fort Gordon. He will basically be going to formations, maybe doing some office work, going to Dr. appt.s and live in the barracks (basically like a dorm). We are not sure how long this will go on but hopefully he will be eligible for a program (CBHC) that is new that allows the wounded soldiers to be at home and go to local doctors -we will have to wait and see.


• We then headed over to the Hospital to begin the out-processing so he can be released to go home. We met with his case manager and she gave us the list of what needed to get done. When at Fort Gordon the case worker will be working closely with Rodney and making his dr. appts. and following up to see how he is doing.


• Rod then had an appt. with a primary care physician whom he had never met before, but it is part of the process. She just basically gave him a quick look over and his records etc.. then made a few comments and let us leave. Kinda strange.


• We went to records to get his medical records-long wait so will have to pursue that another day-but very important.


• Met with social worker-not sure why? She wasn't very informative or didn't offer us anything new to take with us on our journey to the unknown.


• Went to the office for travel. We are still struggling to get on same flight-he needs someone to travel with him lucky for him I don't give up without a fight. They seem to recognize my name in this office which means I have made a name for myself-not one they probably want to share with me. I know they are just doing their job but not sure why things have to be so difficult and so much red-tape. I go into everything Army related knowing it will be more work than really necessary.


• We did speak with a VA rep. which was very helpful and insightful. She told us not to allow them to release Rodney from Medhold until he was completely well-even the smallest thing get it taken care of.


• Went back to Fisher House to separate Rodney's belongings into what is going home and what will go over to the barracks.


• Went to get Rodney a new uniform jacket at the PX uniform shop-the one they sent with him-the zipper is busted. This is our dime not the militaries-that is messed up.


• Set up things with Fort Leavenworth medical facility for the time when Rodney is home. He will be able to go to Munson Hospital to get his labs drawn for the blood thinner issues and have his leg wounds monitored. The Fort is about an hour away from where we live in Kansas.

He also had some de-briefing by a Chaplin as well as a mental health provider. I am concerned what is going on in Rod's head a great deal-he has been through a major traumatic event physically and emotionally-but right now they have said they are dealing with healing the physical first. That concerns me-I feel both can be dealt with simutanoulsy and worry about how things will be with the stress of home. We already have our moments where we are butting heads-but hopefully with a lot of love, patience and me helping to keep things less stressful we will make it thru all of this. Maybe...
WE are just wanting to get done whatever needs to be done-jump through whatever hoops we need to-so that Rodney can go home to see all the family including the kids and to be honest-as much as I like Georgia I am getting homesick for good old Kansas!

Rodney doesn't know but I have had some of our good friends at home planning a "small" welcome home when we arrive. I know he will be tired so I am putting the emphasis on "small"-Right now we don't have the ok on our flights together nor do we have a time for a flight-so hopefully all will work out on that. I know there are so many supporters back home who just want to say thank you-as well as our families that just want to see in person he is ok!

next day... Oct. 31, 2006-Happy Halloween! It feels strange to be away from the kids today especially Connor who still enjoys dressing up and going trick-or-treating-he is a vampire this year and I know Mam-mam (rodney's mom) will make sure he has a good time. Carley is going over to a friends house for a party and may-be some trick or treating. She is 13 so most likely the last big Halloween for her as a kid :(-it is hard but they understand (amazing kids)-and we are learning sacrifice is part of being a military family! Our last full day here in Georgia. We finally got the travel situation taken care of-we will be flying together! We will have a connecting flight in Charlotte so hopefully all will run smoothly. We should arrive in Kansas City on Nov. 1st around 5:00pm-so I am making phone calls to get the homecoming reception going now that we have a time of arrival! Last night we went out to dinner with one of the couples (they are from the San Diego, CA area) in the Fisher House and their son-we ate Italian. Fun and good food! It was good to be out-we just cannot move real fast with Rodney's leg injuries-but we can deal with that no problem! Tonight we are going out to eat with another couple to Red Lobster. Adam and Lisa-from North Dakota. We had a good time but it was strange to see all the little kids with their parents dressed-up for Halloween. Kinda a funny-we left the Fort to go into Augusta, so when we returned we had to show our military ID-Rodney didn't bring his. Luckily the guard let other vouch for him and we were let back on Fort. Another fun day of the journey :) Tomorrow we get to go home so packing and last minute details and we our homeward bound!!!!

Nov. 1st, 2006
Rodney went to his last minute appt.s and I packed up. Lisa was kind enough to take us to the airport so I was able to return my rental on the Fort. We flew out of Augusta which is a really small airport-our flight was late taking off but we made it to Charlotte in time for our connection (actually with time to spare but we went and ate and almost missed our flight because Rodney moves slower and wouldn't use airport assistance-but we made it). I will have to say thought that the flight from Charlotte to KC was the most uncomfortable flight I have ever taken-the seats were hard and wouldn't lay back at all-I was miserable and know Rodney had to be...Just a long day of travel after a long couple weeks in Georgia. We arrived in KC and were the last ones off the plane..Rodney's parents and sister brought Connor and a family friend, K, brought up Carley (Taylor was working)-it was so good to see the kiddos!
A surprise limo awaited to take us HOME! Connor's cub scout Pack had paid for it-the kids were so excited! I could tell Rodney was is pain and tired but he was also surprised when we got back to Gardner and headed to the High School-the total opposite direction than our house-he finally got it when he saw all the people with signs! Welcome Home Surprise courtesy of friends (Tina Vega & Keith Moll) and all our family! Thanks to you all!!!!

Finally Home...
Keep Imagining!

The "Wounds from the War" still sneaking up on us

I have spent a great deal of last evening and today contemplating how to approach this particular post. I am taken aback by how I didn't realize how 'much" our lives are changed forever not just because of my husband's scars or medical issues-the repercussion's reach so much deeper than that.

I had posted in a earlier post about my son, Connor and his struggles. I wanted to update on what has been occurring, what we have found our so far and how he is doing.
I need to say that I do not by any means believe my son is a "bad boy'-he is not by any stretch of the imagination. I love this kid who has been such a blessing to me-he has taught me more than I can ever say. He is an awesome soccer goalie, he loves his sisters so much and he is so strong... he has endured so much especially with all that occurred in his short life. He was only a few short weeks past his 9th birthday when his daddy was deployed. He was so sad that day as we all were, but now looking back I realize just how sad he did act. He was sad to the core of his soul as well as most likely so confused. I remember the moment his dad's bus, headed for training in Mississippi, turned the corner and was then out of sight after the send off ceremony. I looked at him and asked if he would like to go and get breakfast-he said "No Mom, I just want to go home"-he looked so defeated.
He wasn't like this most of time during the deployment or even after his dad was wounded-most of the time he was a 9 year old boy who played, tried to annoy his sisters, talked to his dad on the phone and seemed to be doing well for a kid whose dad was deployed, but yet we had no idea what was normal or abnormal. As a family we were just trying to do the best we could in an abnormal situation. I didn't deal well a lot of the time with Rodney being gone or with the idea of him going to war, but I know I tried for my family. I do wish I had had more of a support system in place with others in my same situation close by. I tried to put my kids first always and look for signs or issues. Connor had an amazing 4th grade teacher that made all the difference in the world to him as well as me-I knew she was watching out for him. I put together videos and slideshows for Rodney and included what the kids were doing and even taped them talking to him. After Rodney was wounded life got really messy and complicated-there was nothing close to normal except we did have to live our lives day in and day out like everyone else: we had holiday celebrations, the kids had their activities,my oldest was preparing to graduate and go to college and Rodney was healing. But ... I missed seeing Connor's pain-I looked and he had behavior issues at home but nothing really new-just Connor (he has always had a high need for attention :)- So now I realize when we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and not every waking moment is spent thinking about some aspect of our situation-BOOM... My Son's feelings, worries, fear and pain come out full force-and I didn't see it coming.

He is now under the care of a dr. whom is doing tests. He saw a counselor whom I have been seeing myself and he finally opened up and said this is what is going on:
He was so scared for so long and he is mad at all that happened. He had no control-so his "PTSD" is just now manifesting itself in inappropriate behavior, anger and difficulties in school. I cannot imagine what has been going on in his head-he had to feel so alone and confused. Now he is heading into pre-teenhood and he has so many feelings and emotions he cannot cope. So now we know-and another part of the journey has begun. We as his parents know we have to be so much more diligent than we have been in being there for him even when he pushes us away and to keep him talking to counselors,etc.. We will do whatever it takes to help him..and he does know that. Last night he said to me with a SMILE on his face..."Mom, I feel so much better after talking to (Micheal) the counselor-I feel happier." that all I want for him to be happy-for him to know he is loved and he is special and people do care, God cares and he will be ok!
I know we will always have things come up and we will wonder is this related to the 'war" experience-but all families have their own "chaos" to deal with right? We will survive this and so will Connor with the help we have set up as well as from us being more aware and focused.

That is a step in the right direction.... Put prayers for good things to happen for Connor and for him to feel it is ok to be a kid and enjoy life would be a good thing. He has had to do without because of financial issues and other priorities, sometimes I am sure he felt forgotten-I truly wish I could say yes we can go to Toys-R-Us and buy you that toy-but for now I can't. He is to young to worry about so many adult issues. He is a child wounded by war and he doesn't even live near a war zone. He is one of the little "heros". (don't tell him I said he was little :).
I wish I could fix it all for him as well as my husband,and our daughters but I am doing all I can do. Please pray financially things turn around for us-we need that so much to move forward and go on with our plan for our life. I appreciate all that have shown their love and support thru this last week or so on this site as well as others-It has made a difference. As I have said before I love to hear from you....

Thanks for listening
Love to all
Mother of Connor a brave and amazing young man.
Tracy

Back to the journey log- Wed. 10/18/2006

We found Rodney at Andrews Air Force Base-they do have a medical facility that handles the wounded in-route to other facilities-not sure why it was so "top-Secret".

I spoke with Rodney about his flight over from Germany. It was beyond miserable for him-They had litters/cots staked 3 high on a military medical transport. He was on the top tier and in a great deal of discomfort and pain especially from the chest tubes. He wasn't allowed to have but only a small dose of morphine now and then. He said the flight dr. told him that since he (Rod)wasn't mobile he needed him to be coherent enough to help them help him down in case of a crash-he said "I actually prayed the plane would crash, it was so bad"-it was over a ten hour flight. I cannot imagine!
He was scheduled to fly out of AAFB today but due to mechanical problems with the plane it was postponed until tomorrow-he was ok with that because he was so exhausted from the other flight. The manifest for the 19th did have Rodney on it to fly to Georgia-yeah!

Rodney was very difficult to talk to-irritable when I asked questions and no sense of humor which isn't him at all. I had my first taste of what it was going to be like as a caregiver of a strong willed soldier that wanted to go back to his unit in Iraq as soon as possible. He did say he needed me to be with him. I told him how hard I had been working to get to him and that it was so important for him to tell whomever would listen in Georgia that he needed me there- (he still doesn't understand how long I have been fighting to get to him).
Hopefully only a few more days of this agony of wanting and needing to be with him-I am starting to actually pack-believing this is actually going to happen! I will feel so much better to get to actually see him and touch him to know he is really ok-I know he needs the same.

(We had a fatality of a soldier from our community a few days before Rodney was wounded. He was a 19 year old-Shane Austin. His Funeral was today. I feel so badly for his family-so young and so brave. I had chosen not to contact the media after I found out about Rodney because I didn't want to take away from the upcoming funeral of this serviceman. The community really came together and gave Shane a beautiful tribute.-there were flags everywhere, the patriot guard was here and the high school was packed for the memorial service. I chose not to attend but heard about it thru friends. A True Hero-Thank you Shane and family for your sacrifice for our freedom)

More of our story later...
Getting to Georgia!!!
Tracy

The System is Broken...

I wanted to add a post describing what my biggest issues and frustrations were up to this point in my story. I had little experience dealing with the military so I wasn't a veteran military wife who knew how the "military" worked. I didn't understand why things took so long-so I was inpatient. I didn't understand decisions weren't just made and then action was taken and followed out. I didn't know that to get from point A to point B that sometimes things were handled by going from A to E to S back B, in other words the system wasn't working and I wasn't pleased at all. I feel the men and women in service are giving a huge sacrifice and that really they have one of the the most unselfish jobs there is-so why didn't people care or have the answers when one of their own was wounded-I will admit I am not the best at handling chain of command or protocol-but I will say I am diplomatic,I tend to believe most people are truthful and give people and situations an opportunity to work out- after that I become (put nicely)tenaciously obsessed and pissed off!!! I know most people would be so surprised to know how complicated and messed up getting to my husbands bedside was as well as finding out information about what happens now... If you don't ask and look for it yourself you don't know about it. That was and is so difficult for me to swallow...

So recap on why the experience was a nightmare:

1.) I wasn't contacted when my husband was seriously wounded in a war zone. I was listed as next of kin and contact person. My in laws were contacted instead at about 1am by the company commander because he felt this was in my best interest based on meeting me 2 times.He stated my husband was unconsious so he took it upon himself to make the decision on who to call (which according to my husband and others he wasn't the entire time they were working on him) What is supposed to happen is this; The company commander is to contact the state (in the case of National Guard) and the state liaison/officer assigned from rear detachment, then contacts the spouse/next of kin listed,but not between the hours of 11pm and 7am (I think that is right on the times?). The liaisons job is to then stay in contact with the family and help them thru the process of knowing what happened and what was going to happen next. (Just so you know that the commander did inform me after I wrote a detailed email and sent it to anybody and everybody that he was reprimanded for making a decision that wasn't his to make).

2.)The officer from the state of Kansas that first contacted me ( I guess he was my liason???)-pretty much left me on my own after a few days and then wouldn't return my phone calls on a timely basis then when he did I actually knew more than he did.
He couldn't handle it if I got emotional at all.

3.)No one could tell me when or if I would be able to be at my husbands bedside when he got back stateside nor for sure what medical facility he would be going to. There are many hoops to jump thru or in military talk-certain things have to happen before we can make arrangements for you to fly to him (like the dr. saying he can have visitors???)-I will say when all was said and done, they did make my flight arrangements and pay for my flight to and from)

4.)I call people and they don't call me back or they pass the buck or they pass along a lot of mis-information. (mis-information is a huge issue-I got to the point where I would start every conversation with I need your help but if you do not know the answer just say "I don't know but I can help you find out"-don't give me information that may or may not be the case. I really hated that no one in whatever dept. of the govt. I spoke to seemed to be held accountable for the information they passed out.

5.) I hated that my wounded soldier was being treated in a foreign country and he was unable to speak for himself or even understand most of the time what was even happening and he had no one to advocate for him-this made me physically sick to think about.

I think for now that was my major concerns-I will say I was very proactive in calling the hospital in Germany and making sure they knew his medical history, that he had a family who loved him and trying to get myself physically to him. I more than likely was at times over-sensitive and very emotional but the situation warranted these as well as so many other emotions. I had to do what I had to do/I had to be strong and persistant-The Army was so new at dealing with so many wounded soldiers-especially national guard. The system wasn't set up for it-not that I got much comfort from that fact..it was a fact. I will say in the year since we were initially in this situation many parts of the system have been changed for the better. I have been in contact with whomever will listen in DC as well as our own state capital telling our story-I know it has made some difference and we are part of the change....that makes me feel good that some other family won't have to go thru all we did. I just hope I can be looked at as a strong advocate instead of a troublemaker. :)

More later to my faithful blog followers...
(not a novel yet)
Tracy

Oct. 15, 2006 7:21-am call to Germany

Sunday:
Started out the day with a phone call to Germany to check up on Rodney. The nurses overall have been amazing and more than happy to speak with me and discuss Rodney's medical status. This am I spoke with SPC Pilotte, she stated that:

1) Rod was very agitated and restless during his sleep (picking at things that weren't there etc.)*this was really hard to hear

2)Stated that due to his state of confusion they had taken him for a cat scan-initial results looked good.

3.)He was complaining of pain where he had abdominal surgery-medicating with Tylenol 3

4.)On anitbiotics x2 for respitory infection and for infection control of his open wounds

5.)That the goal was to get him up in a chair today

6.)I asked to have liason from the hospital to call me-I had already requested this so this was the 2nd time. She stated she had left a message for him to call-supposed to around 12pm Germany time.

5.)No solid food yet-just ice chips

6.) he would be flying out on Tuesday-unless they had other patients who had more critical needs and needed the spot on the plane.

7.)to call back later and I could probably speak with Rodney

The rest of my day consisted of going to church which was a nice but a bit overwelming with everyone asking questions and looking at me with sad faces. I tend to get emotional during service normally-but most definatly the place I needed to be on that day and time. Met the wonderful woman-Rene' Evans who was bringing dinner to us this evening.

When I returned home after church I listened to my messages on the home phone-(this was the first time I had left and no one was there to take phone calls)I had missed a really important call that I had been waiting for, for over 2 days-the call from Rodney's commander Major Gonzales. He did call me back from Iraq at approx. 2pm central time. I was had so many questions for him:

1)I wanted to know what happened: all he could tell me was that "25 soldiers were standing around the command post area,inside the FOB, so no one had body armour on-there were 4 injured, Rod was knocked unconsious and wounded the most seriously." He also state because of Operational Security he could only say "they made contact".

2.) I wanted to know WHY he contacted my inlaws and not me-because I knew Rodney had me listed as his contact person. (I am his wife!!!) He stated "I made the decision not to inform you after seeing you upset in the airport when we left" (ok this is a real touchy issue with me-I was upset but who wouldn't be-I was crying, the kids were crying but we weren't hysterical) He also said I had gotten sick in Mississippi before they left for Iraq because Rodney was leaving-(also a situation where he did not have all the information-he judged and made assumptions after only meeting me briefly 2 times)-
So I wasn't really happy with his answers and didn't feel I had gained much information, but with him being Rodney's commander I trusted he was doing his job and showed him respect. (As this story goes on you will find out why I lost all respect for him and we have issues with him to this very minute)

I did have a my 2nd conversation with Rodney after speaking with his nurse Capt. Zebb around 10:30pm central time-

He stated Rodney had given them a really difficult time during the catscan (made me wonder what he was thinking they were doing to him?),described Rodney's leg wounds in more detail-stating that one was 1 1/2 inches deep and the other 1 onch deep. I told him the liason had not contacted me as of yet, he would follow up on that he said.Flight on Tuesday scheduled for 2 pm departure and it is about a 10 hour flight (wow) The conversation with rodney was better than Saturday-but he still was really out of it. He spoke for a few minutes with Carley and Connor-which thrilled them to death. He was very weepy, emotional and apologizing. I reassured him and told him I would be with him soon. (getting so frustrating I just want to see him and be there to take care of him). I asked him "test" guestions-such as our address, my name, our anniversary, the kids names... he passed! The nurse had stated earlier that rodney didn't know who the President was-so I wanted to see for myself how confused he was-but this was a conversation he still cannot recall to this day. Glad I wrote all this down:)

sorry this is out of order-I didn't want to start over....

In the afternoon the Pastor came by and prayed with carley and I-as well as listened to our concerns, emotions, and offered comfort and suggestions. He suggested scripture Matthew 21;18-21.
*I look back on all that occured during this time and wonder where was Connor and taylor or how was I just going about my business-but you do what you have to do to get thru it with having faith it will be ok. During this I am spending a great amount of time on the phone trying to get travel orders-since no one could really tell me at the time what the process was.

More of the continuing saga later-
Imagining and Believing
Tracy

Email to notify others and the start of the battle

This is the first email I sent out after finding out about Rodney (It was sent at approx. 7:30am on the 13th-I recieved many responses back along with so many prayers that and family and friends is all that kept me going-since I was sleeping in spurts and only eating when others made me. I was a mess but so determined to find out information and get to my husband. I was so worried about no one being with him and having no one to speak for him as an advocate.

I was contacted at about 8am by the DA in Washington DC by phone. I was briefed on his wounds and told he was be sent to Germany for treatment. I was also given information about how the procedure of me getting to my wounded soldier would occur. The Staff Sgt. made it sound a lot less complicated than it turned out to be.

I also found out from another army source that 3 other members of Rodney's unit were also wounded in the attack-2 were minor and one other was also serious. I kept asking to speak with Rodney's commander in Iraq-since protocol was not followed and he contacted my in-laws instead of me intially (this was very upsetting and is a whole other major part of the story I will share soon-it comes with many emotions).
I wanted as much information about what happened as possible-not sure if this is a normal reaction in a crisis but it is something that I ended up battling for and going through many channels to find out. We actually just recently after 11 months found out the actual "full" account of that day. Stayed tuned because things only get more interesting and unbelievable-I think most people will be shocked as to how unorganized and how so many parts of the system failed-so on top of being upset and so worried I am now starting out on a battle that ends of changing policy in the state of Kansas but stepped on a few toes along the way.

The determined army wife
T-

Rodney's Wounds from a mortar attack

(pic of Rodney's chest showing where shrapnel entered his body. I love that the pic shows the special dog tag I had ordered I gave him with a pic of him and Connor as well as my "little engagement ring he always wore on his dogtags :) )The wounds Rodney sustained from a mortar attack on Camp Marez in Mosul,Iraq after only being in country, boots on the ground for 42 days-
Some of the details of Rodney's wounds I knew when I found out the news and when I was officially notified by the Dept. of Army (DA) while others I found out over the next week and a half.

He had soft tissue wounds to both legs from the shrapnel fragments. The wound on his left leg was up high on his hip flexer. It was approx. the size of a babyfood jar lid and went clear to the bone. He lost a great deal of blood due to this wound and didn't bleed out only because one of the other soldiers put his knee and body weight on the wound to slow the bleeding. The wound on his left leg was located in the inner thigh area-it was much larger (you couldv'e layed a pop can in it-but not nearly as deep or life threatening). He had shrapnel wounds to the chest area-which in turn penetrated his lung and caused a collapsed lung as well as the chest cavity filling with blood. He had lost consiousness upon the blast happening but woke up and was aware most of the the time the medics and other soldiers were working with him before he was able to be transferred to the small base hospital. He wa taken into surgery for his lung issues, cleaning up of other wounds and he had exploratory abdominal surgery. He was put on a respirator. He was heavily sedated-drug induced coma and medvaced out of Mosul to Landstuhl, Germany-Army Hosptial with in a 36 hour period.(keep in mind Iraq is 8 hours ahead of us-central time)-After Landstuhl he was flown to DC and spent 2 days at a medical facility at Andrew Airforce Base then was sent to Eisenhower Army Hospital at Fort Gordon in Augusta, GA. While there a small piece of shrapnel was discovered during a routine CT-this piece was located in the center of his heart, in the muscle,between the four chambers. It was decided by the medical staff to leave it since it would most likely cause more damage to the heart to go in a remove it. The doctors were amazed and he shouldn't be here due to that one wound-he is a case study and there isn't many previous cases to use as research. The normal protocol for shrapnel in the body is to leave it (he has many small pieces throught his chest area and legs still today-that may or may not work their way out from underneath the skin by themselves over the years.) Rodney also suffers from PTSD, depression and possible TBI (tramamtic brain injury. He also has a few other medical issues due to the incident. He is still under the care of many doctors and is still on what they call "medhold". He goes to work for the Army everyday and continues to be a proud, patriotic soldier.

I believe Rodney is here by the grace of God- He is our Superman!

Tracy

It's Officially October 12th

The day one-year ago my brave warrior was wounded...
It is actually 10 minutes past midnight-Last year at this time I was dealing with my hubby being deployed in Iraq-I wasn't so worried about him-he didn't leave the post very often-they biggest challenge was being the single parent to our kids and not getting to speak to him when I wanted to...I had enjoyed putting a Halloween care package together for him and had sent it off a few days before. I had begged him to write me a "real" letter-you know with pen and paper:)-I awaited the arrival of that letter with great anticipation. Dealing with deployment was hard-but I was actually starting to get into a routine-then it all changed.
I think I will go tell my guy how much I love him and that I am so glad he is here safe and sound! If you have a soldier give him a hug they deserve it!
Goodnight-
T-

To celebrate or not celebrate?

ok that is the question for today? so here we go-(1st time blogger!) Today is the day before the anniversary of my husband being wounded in combat in Iraq-so October 12th is the actual day-9:30am kansas time. Trying to decide how I am supposed to feel as well as gauge how my husband is doing and the kiddos. One of the things I am struggling with the most is that the last year has been so very difficult and full of a great many challenges (we are talking dealing with the military) :) My husband has come a long way physically. Our family has suffered financially. Everyone of us in the family have our own feelings and issues relating to what happened. It has been compared to a grieving process-the loss being.. my husband being almost killed in a war zone and he won't ever be the same nor will we-there will always be the before and after-ok what is the struggle??? Do we celebrate tommorow in some way?? I am not saying we will have cake and balloons-but I do want to try to turn it around to the positive- (Live forward...)I can see doing the party deal maybe in a couple years-because we are so thankful he is here with us when medically speaking he should not be-Yes we are thankful now but the hurt is still so raw even after a year-we are still in the nightmare called medhold and our life is in a holding pattern. The other thing is so many people are just saying-oh it's been a year-time for you to move on- Rodney looks fine? etc...who decides when we move on? Isn't it a process? I am all alone on this one-I know no other wounded warrior spouses-so if you are out there-I would love to hear from ya- I will share more about the actual details of my husbands injuries and the rest of the story at a later date...

* Pictures taken at Fort Gordon, GA, Eisenhower Army Hospital-Oct. 20-Nov.1, 2006

So was the question answered...no but we will see what tommorow brings-that is all we can do!

Proud Army wife-

T-