I am going to try and condense some of the story about the journey-Let's see if I can actually do it??? Just trying to figure out how to tell the story without writing a novel (Maybe I will write a real book about it all someday-LOL).
Tuesday, Oct. 17
*1:15 am (central time)/8:15 am Germany-Call from Germany-Major Harvey, Liaison
Conference call with him, Rodney and I. A brief on what is going to happen.
Flight leaving from Germany by 10am with a 10 hour flight landing in Maryland at Andrews Air force Base. Rodney will most likely stay overnight there AAFB or at Walter Reed. I was given a contact of Col. John Mayetta to receive info. regarding Rodney's arrival in the states. After Maryland he will then go to Eisenhower Army Hospital at Fort Gordon in Augusta, GA. I was also told to go ahead and call liaison in Georgia to start my travel process. The Major stated that it could be 72 hours after arrival for me to get TTO (travel and transportation orders)!-That sounded so ridiculous-it had already been 5 days since he was injured! I did speak with Rodney about what he had with him-he had no idea. Luckily there are some amazing people who provide soldiers coming thru Landstuhl with a backpack with some clothing and toiletries. Major Harvey did find Rodney's bags that had been sent with him in lock-up so that was a relief to me! He wasn't going to be flying back to the land of freedom in his birthday suit.
*Received strange call at 3:30am (central)from Germany saying flight was just now taking off.Delayed?? She stated she was the liaison-everyone wants to be the liaison??
* I contacted Sgt. 1st class Hill in Georgia-who wasn't actually a liaison (ok I am really starting to not like that title) but he was most helpful and stuck by me in the next few days. Took my cell #.
* Received the infamous letter from my soldier. It was wonderful and bittersweet since it was sent from a few days prior to him being wounded. I will treasure it forever!
*I was called from Dept. of Army/T & T by a Sgt. Riffe (coolest person working there!!). He said this is the process plain and simple: Arrival at medical facility,triage and then forwarded to travel and transportation and they then draw up the orders. sounds simple enough-WRONG! When I called later in afternoon to talk again with Sgt. Riffe-all the sudden no one by that name works there and I end up with the grand-poopa Jerk-he was very rude and told me I was basically a pain in his ass. Tracy the troublemaker-that's me!
* I called the KS Adj. Generals office since I had not heard back from them. I was told he would call me back. I then received a call back and the state of Kansas could do nothing to help get me to Georgia any sooner. At least they tried!
* I spoke with a Col. Mayetta in DC (My contact) and he told me Rodney was on the ground and he would get a message to him. I was so thankful!!!! He was back safe in the states.
* Tuesday afternoon-Rodney's parents were also following Rodney's journey. I received a call from his mom telling me they were told the flight took off much later than expected and they experienced head winds so the flight was longer than expected.
*BIG PROBLEM-NO ONE WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF ARMY OR ANYONE ELSE SEEMS TO KNOW WHERE RODNEY IS! His dad and I have called Walter Reed and he is not there. They told us to call the Malone House (which is an outpatient house for those able to take care of themselves)glad he wasn't there because he wasn't even able to walk on his own yet!-I was told once he got to the states it was no longer DA travel and transportation job to track him after receiving a call from them about Rodney's location-then why did they call?? Everyone was passing the buck. I asked if there was a facility at Andrews Air Force base and I was told no. then I asked again later and I was told they do but it is just a holding area. I asked for the number-no we cannot give that out. Finally after almost 24 hours Rodney's dad did get the number and we located him-funny thing was even Rodney thought he was at Walter Reed when I finally spoke with him on Wed. the 18th at 11:30 am (eastern time) I had to tell him he wasn't. What a fiasco!
Well we found him and he is safe... now we just need to get him to Georgia as well as me...
A FAMILY WOUNDED BY WAR This is our story of continued determination even after a 4 year journey as a wounded family! We have faith, hope,love while learning to live with our "NEW" normal and healing from the wounds no one can see!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thanks for the Support... a good day!
Thank you to all of you out there who have reached out and given me support through your experiences and your suggestions about the situation with my precious son-
I just wanted to do a short post on our Monday:
I went to eat lunch with Connor at school. Him and I worked on a science project together then we went to get his glasses adjusted and we did get a halloween costume and some decorations. He fought me at some points but I tried to stay positive and not react when I felt he was starting to get frustrated. I did speak with a social worker who works for the school district. I feel better and more hopeful after speaking with her. She does suggest getting him to a dr. and figuring out some of the bigger issues. So I will start making calls in the am-there are 17 dr.s listedfor child psychiatry within a 50 mile radius and none are actually even in our county. Most are alsmot 50 miles away-according to the insurance I have to exhaust all of those options before they will consider letting him see someone else. Pretty frustrating since I want him to see who has been recommended to me-the same dr. by my counselor as well as the social worker-so I want her to see him!! The fight is on!! Wish me Luck!
Overall the day was much more pleasent and he actually was smiling and laughing with us a some points-I treasure those moments!!!
Again thanks for checking in....
I will let you know how it goes.
Tracy
I just wanted to do a short post on our Monday:
I went to eat lunch with Connor at school. Him and I worked on a science project together then we went to get his glasses adjusted and we did get a halloween costume and some decorations. He fought me at some points but I tried to stay positive and not react when I felt he was starting to get frustrated. I did speak with a social worker who works for the school district. I feel better and more hopeful after speaking with her. She does suggest getting him to a dr. and figuring out some of the bigger issues. So I will start making calls in the am-there are 17 dr.s listedfor child psychiatry within a 50 mile radius and none are actually even in our county. Most are alsmot 50 miles away-according to the insurance I have to exhaust all of those options before they will consider letting him see someone else. Pretty frustrating since I want him to see who has been recommended to me-the same dr. by my counselor as well as the social worker-so I want her to see him!! The fight is on!! Wish me Luck!
Overall the day was much more pleasent and he actually was smiling and laughing with us a some points-I treasure those moments!!!
Again thanks for checking in....
I will let you know how it goes.
Tracy
Sunday, October 21, 2007
On with last year..."he speaks and remembers>>>"
I left off on Sunday 10/15/2006 on the last blog about when my husband was wounded..
Today is Monday, October 16, 2006. It is approx. 10:00 am central time. I spoke with a Mrs. Smith at Family care center in DC this morning and she transferred me to a case manager Sgt. Major Hoot, who was able to speak with me about the logistics of what needs to happen so I can get to wherever Rodney ends up. It seems to get harder and harder every day. I know they have to have a process and I am not not the only one dealing with a wounded family member but so many days have gone by and I feel I know so little. This is what I was told:
1.)Rod still in serious condition
2.)to be able to travel to soldiers beside the dr. has to decide it is best for patient (I have heard this before-sounds crazy huh?)
3.) He will either be going to Eisenhower Medical Center in Augusta, GA or Brooks Army Hospital in Texas.
It is around 12:30 pm. I just called Germany and spoke with the nurse Col. Roder.
She told me the catscan results were normal but she also stated he was still confused and sleepy. She gave me a possible reason for this. TBI (tramatic brain injury). This was scary to hear and the first time there had been discussion of it. She explained that the blast c from the mortar attack causes a concussion of air and would have caused his brain to shake inside his skull. She also stated common and will most likely resolve itself. I asked about sedation-what meds he was still recieving and he was only getting tylenol 3 at this time. She told me he had 2 chest tubes for drainage and that the fragments in the lung were still there. He is still on antibiotics to ward off infection and still dealing with respitory issues. She also told me his route to Germany went this way: 47th CASH at Mosul (FOB hospital) to Balad, Iraq (larger medical facility) to Germany. He has come a long way already!!!
I did speak with Rodney-yeah! He called me....that is a definate improvement!
He called and when I said "HI" he said "Hi good lookin what are you doing"-I beamed.
He told me he had a call from the KS. Adj. General. He was so excited because he understood the General to say that I would be in Georgia when he got there-he would get me there. (Rodney had no idea of the process and what I had been encountering-and I didn't burden him with it). I asked him how he was doing and what he was doing . He said he had just finished eating and "I have been sitting here waiting for you to call"-I thought it was cute-especially since he called me! (this is the 1st time he remembers speaking to me since being wounded). I asked him what he had to eat he said 'Hairy, salty beef with rice" (YUM...but it was solid food-yeah)
I asked if he was watching tv but he said"no but it is on" then he started to get agitated and short with me (the confusion and pain) I did tell him in this conversation about who else was wounded-he had a few questions but for the most part didn't talk much about what happened. We will have plenty of time later. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain, so I told him to ring the nurse and ask for assistance. We said our goodbyes-he is scheduled to leave Germany tommorow and I still haven't heard from the liason who is supposed to know the details of what happens next. (I spoke with a nurse in afternoon-and she got me connected with the liason and he told me to call back in 11 hours-I have to remember we are dealing with a major time difference) I will be so glad for him to get back to US!
I did make a phone call personally to the Adj. General. I wanted to know for sure Rodney had actually spoken with him (confusion I wasn't sure??) and what he had told him. The adj. General was very kind and told me he had told Rodney "he would try and get me to Georgia to be with him" I then told him that he had one of his wounded soldiers in Germany waiting to come home to the states and he believed I would be in Georgia when he got there. He was very gracious and told me he would do what he could (difficult because when guard are deployed they become "property" of federal side so the state side has limited say on anything". He did say he would work on it and get back to me on Tuesday am.
I will be waiting...
(things start to get really crazy in the next day or so.., briefing conference call with liason in Germany at 1;15am my time, then later no one can locate rodney etc..)
More later..when the novel continues
Tracy
Today is Monday, October 16, 2006. It is approx. 10:00 am central time. I spoke with a Mrs. Smith at Family care center in DC this morning and she transferred me to a case manager Sgt. Major Hoot, who was able to speak with me about the logistics of what needs to happen so I can get to wherever Rodney ends up. It seems to get harder and harder every day. I know they have to have a process and I am not not the only one dealing with a wounded family member but so many days have gone by and I feel I know so little. This is what I was told:
1.)Rod still in serious condition
2.)to be able to travel to soldiers beside the dr. has to decide it is best for patient (I have heard this before-sounds crazy huh?)
3.) He will either be going to Eisenhower Medical Center in Augusta, GA or Brooks Army Hospital in Texas.
It is around 12:30 pm. I just called Germany and spoke with the nurse Col. Roder.
She told me the catscan results were normal but she also stated he was still confused and sleepy. She gave me a possible reason for this. TBI (tramatic brain injury). This was scary to hear and the first time there had been discussion of it. She explained that the blast c from the mortar attack causes a concussion of air and would have caused his brain to shake inside his skull. She also stated common and will most likely resolve itself. I asked about sedation-what meds he was still recieving and he was only getting tylenol 3 at this time. She told me he had 2 chest tubes for drainage and that the fragments in the lung were still there. He is still on antibiotics to ward off infection and still dealing with respitory issues. She also told me his route to Germany went this way: 47th CASH at Mosul (FOB hospital) to Balad, Iraq (larger medical facility) to Germany. He has come a long way already!!!
I did speak with Rodney-yeah! He called me....that is a definate improvement!
He called and when I said "HI" he said "Hi good lookin what are you doing"-I beamed.
He told me he had a call from the KS. Adj. General. He was so excited because he understood the General to say that I would be in Georgia when he got there-he would get me there. (Rodney had no idea of the process and what I had been encountering-and I didn't burden him with it). I asked him how he was doing and what he was doing . He said he had just finished eating and "I have been sitting here waiting for you to call"-I thought it was cute-especially since he called me! (this is the 1st time he remembers speaking to me since being wounded). I asked him what he had to eat he said 'Hairy, salty beef with rice" (YUM...but it was solid food-yeah)
I asked if he was watching tv but he said"no but it is on" then he started to get agitated and short with me (the confusion and pain) I did tell him in this conversation about who else was wounded-he had a few questions but for the most part didn't talk much about what happened. We will have plenty of time later. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain, so I told him to ring the nurse and ask for assistance. We said our goodbyes-he is scheduled to leave Germany tommorow and I still haven't heard from the liason who is supposed to know the details of what happens next. (I spoke with a nurse in afternoon-and she got me connected with the liason and he told me to call back in 11 hours-I have to remember we are dealing with a major time difference) I will be so glad for him to get back to US!
I did make a phone call personally to the Adj. General. I wanted to know for sure Rodney had actually spoken with him (confusion I wasn't sure??) and what he had told him. The adj. General was very kind and told me he had told Rodney "he would try and get me to Georgia to be with him" I then told him that he had one of his wounded soldiers in Germany waiting to come home to the states and he believed I would be in Georgia when he got there. He was very gracious and told me he would do what he could (difficult because when guard are deployed they become "property" of federal side so the state side has limited say on anything". He did say he would work on it and get back to me on Tuesday am.
I will be waiting...
(things start to get really crazy in the next day or so.., briefing conference call with liason in Germany at 1;15am my time, then later no one can locate rodney etc..)
More later..when the novel continues
Tracy
Saturday, October 20, 2007
My son! My heart is breaking!
Today I am writing about something current that is breaking my heart. My son, Connor who is 10 years old and in 5th grade seems to be so angry at his dad and I.
He has so many issues with anger and has for awhile, but now the situation seems so much worse. He saw an OT when he was 2 and 3 for issues. I was concerned then about autism. They said he was fine but somewhat behind on fine motor skills and had some problems with dealing with emotions and textile issues. Now I don't feel I can even reach him-he doesn't hear me. He just reacts. I cannot get him to look me in the eye and have a conversation with dialog going both ways. He doesn't want to do anything with us. (today we tried to take him out for breakfast after his soccer game then shopping for a hallowwen costume, and then for pumpkins-we ended up going to McDonalds to eat and he got ice cream and all he wanted to do was go home and play with his friends-he just kept pushing and making it a miserable day) He fights us on everything!!!! He lies and is very manipulative. He has stolen from his sister. He has put himself in dangerous situations. He is easily influenced. We have to be very aware of what he is doing on the computer/internet-when he even has the privledge of being on it.He can't be trusted. He plays his dad and I against each other. If he goes somewhere and we tell him he needs to be home by a certain time-he never is. He calls me and asks if he can stay the night with someone, even though we have discussed this prior to him leaving and been in agreement that he understood to not do this and why. When he calls he starts in and when I say simply-"connor you know the deal we had and you need to come home"-he still continues. If I hang up he call back again and again-then to his dad the same. We go after him and he knows this is what will happen. We ground him and contantly take things away. He gets sent to his room. We praise him and give him things to work towards. He is not deprived of toys or love. He seems to really hate us and tells me all the time I don't care about him. He sometimes still throws himseslf down on the floor during his fits-basically when we say no. He has violent episodes where he throws things. He can act much older than 10 especially when around friends.He has even started to get calls from girls. I have 2 teenage daughters-this is a whole new ballgame and always has been since he was born-but things are really out of hand. I have to say I actually dread him coming home from school because I know the craziness will begin-I try to prepare myself, offer him choices but in the end all is the same. I hardly ever see him smile anymore but he seems happy with his friends. I afraid to even start a conversation with him. I am so sick that this has gotten this far-I cannot imagine the issues he will face as a teenager. I am actually afraid for him. I miss my little boy and I am so broken hearted.
The weird thing is: He doesn't show the anger or violent behaviors at school or with his soccer coaches or on the field. The issues he has in school are not always doing the work, or handing it in. He is very disorganized. He says he dislikes school. His grades range from A's to F', on the same report card. He visits the school nurse often with minor ailments. Last year it was a major chore every day to get him to school, this year has been a better, but we still have what we call "Sunday night Fever"-he starts complaining. Every bruise, cut, or anything else he makes a huge production out of. We try to downplay it. He does have asthma and allergies but getting him to take the medicine is also a chore am and pm. He has pretended to take the pills and then hidden them-so now he takes right in front of us so we know he is doing it. When we tell others about these behaviors (besides family) they cannot believe Connor would act that way. His sisters are also so frustrated with him. He is their little brother but he isn't pleasent to be around.
We have been trying to find a dr. for him to do testing but haven't had much luck with our insurance. I plan to contact the school social worker on Monday whom I know and go from there. I know there is something going on and he has been thru so much this last year with his dad being wounded. I am really so ashamed that I cannot parent this child, that I cannot connect with him and that sometimes I wonder what his future is.
I don't know what to do. I feel myself pulling away from him. I feel horrible.If anyone out there has a clue what we could do I would appreciate it so much.
I feel like a failure as a parent with him most of the time-but no matter what I am his mom and I need to do what ever it takes to help him as well as bring peace to our family. We could use the prayers also!
Thanks
Tracy
He has so many issues with anger and has for awhile, but now the situation seems so much worse. He saw an OT when he was 2 and 3 for issues. I was concerned then about autism. They said he was fine but somewhat behind on fine motor skills and had some problems with dealing with emotions and textile issues. Now I don't feel I can even reach him-he doesn't hear me. He just reacts. I cannot get him to look me in the eye and have a conversation with dialog going both ways. He doesn't want to do anything with us. (today we tried to take him out for breakfast after his soccer game then shopping for a hallowwen costume, and then for pumpkins-we ended up going to McDonalds to eat and he got ice cream and all he wanted to do was go home and play with his friends-he just kept pushing and making it a miserable day) He fights us on everything!!!! He lies and is very manipulative. He has stolen from his sister. He has put himself in dangerous situations. He is easily influenced. We have to be very aware of what he is doing on the computer/internet-when he even has the privledge of being on it.He can't be trusted. He plays his dad and I against each other. If he goes somewhere and we tell him he needs to be home by a certain time-he never is. He calls me and asks if he can stay the night with someone, even though we have discussed this prior to him leaving and been in agreement that he understood to not do this and why. When he calls he starts in and when I say simply-"connor you know the deal we had and you need to come home"-he still continues. If I hang up he call back again and again-then to his dad the same. We go after him and he knows this is what will happen. We ground him and contantly take things away. He gets sent to his room. We praise him and give him things to work towards. He is not deprived of toys or love. He seems to really hate us and tells me all the time I don't care about him. He sometimes still throws himseslf down on the floor during his fits-basically when we say no. He has violent episodes where he throws things. He can act much older than 10 especially when around friends.He has even started to get calls from girls. I have 2 teenage daughters-this is a whole new ballgame and always has been since he was born-but things are really out of hand. I have to say I actually dread him coming home from school because I know the craziness will begin-I try to prepare myself, offer him choices but in the end all is the same. I hardly ever see him smile anymore but he seems happy with his friends. I afraid to even start a conversation with him. I am so sick that this has gotten this far-I cannot imagine the issues he will face as a teenager. I am actually afraid for him. I miss my little boy and I am so broken hearted.
The weird thing is: He doesn't show the anger or violent behaviors at school or with his soccer coaches or on the field. The issues he has in school are not always doing the work, or handing it in. He is very disorganized. He says he dislikes school. His grades range from A's to F', on the same report card. He visits the school nurse often with minor ailments. Last year it was a major chore every day to get him to school, this year has been a better, but we still have what we call "Sunday night Fever"-he starts complaining. Every bruise, cut, or anything else he makes a huge production out of. We try to downplay it. He does have asthma and allergies but getting him to take the medicine is also a chore am and pm. He has pretended to take the pills and then hidden them-so now he takes right in front of us so we know he is doing it. When we tell others about these behaviors (besides family) they cannot believe Connor would act that way. His sisters are also so frustrated with him. He is their little brother but he isn't pleasent to be around.
We have been trying to find a dr. for him to do testing but haven't had much luck with our insurance. I plan to contact the school social worker on Monday whom I know and go from there. I know there is something going on and he has been thru so much this last year with his dad being wounded. I am really so ashamed that I cannot parent this child, that I cannot connect with him and that sometimes I wonder what his future is.
I don't know what to do. I feel myself pulling away from him. I feel horrible.If anyone out there has a clue what we could do I would appreciate it so much.
I feel like a failure as a parent with him most of the time-but no matter what I am his mom and I need to do what ever it takes to help him as well as bring peace to our family. We could use the prayers also!
Thanks
Tracy
Friday, October 19, 2007
The System is Broken...
I wanted to add a post describing what my biggest issues and frustrations were up to this point in my story. I had little experience dealing with the military so I wasn't a veteran military wife who knew how the "military" worked. I didn't understand why things took so long-so I was inpatient. I didn't understand decisions weren't just made and then action was taken and followed out. I didn't know that to get from point A to point B that sometimes things were handled by going from A to E to S back B, in other words the system wasn't working and I wasn't pleased at all. I feel the men and women in service are giving a huge sacrifice and that really they have one of the the most unselfish jobs there is-so why didn't people care or have the answers when one of their own was wounded-I will admit I am not the best at handling chain of command or protocol-but I will say I am diplomatic,I tend to believe most people are truthful and give people and situations an opportunity to work out- after that I become (put nicely)tenaciously obsessed and pissed off!!! I know most people would be so surprised to know how complicated and messed up getting to my husbands bedside was as well as finding out information about what happens now... If you don't ask and look for it yourself you don't know about it. That was and is so difficult for me to swallow...
So recap on why the experience was a nightmare:
1.) I wasn't contacted when my husband was seriously wounded in a war zone. I was listed as next of kin and contact person. My in laws were contacted instead at about 1am by the company commander because he felt this was in my best interest based on meeting me 2 times.He stated my husband was unconsious so he took it upon himself to make the decision on who to call (which according to my husband and others he wasn't the entire time they were working on him) What is supposed to happen is this; The company commander is to contact the state (in the case of National Guard) and the state liaison/officer assigned from rear detachment, then contacts the spouse/next of kin listed,but not between the hours of 11pm and 7am (I think that is right on the times?). The liaisons job is to then stay in contact with the family and help them thru the process of knowing what happened and what was going to happen next. (Just so you know that the commander did inform me after I wrote a detailed email and sent it to anybody and everybody that he was reprimanded for making a decision that wasn't his to make).
2.)The officer from the state of Kansas that first contacted me ( I guess he was my liason???)-pretty much left me on my own after a few days and then wouldn't return my phone calls on a timely basis then when he did I actually knew more than he did.
He couldn't handle it if I got emotional at all.
3.)No one could tell me when or if I would be able to be at my husbands bedside when he got back stateside nor for sure what medical facility he would be going to. There are many hoops to jump thru or in military talk-certain things have to happen before we can make arrangements for you to fly to him (like the dr. saying he can have visitors???)-I will say when all was said and done, they did make my flight arrangements and pay for my flight to and from)
4.)I call people and they don't call me back or they pass the buck or they pass along a lot of mis-information. (mis-information is a huge issue-I got to the point where I would start every conversation with I need your help but if you do not know the answer just say "I don't know but I can help you find out"-don't give me information that may or may not be the case. I really hated that no one in whatever dept. of the govt. I spoke to seemed to be held accountable for the information they passed out.
5.) I hated that my wounded soldier was being treated in a foreign country and he was unable to speak for himself or even understand most of the time what was even happening and he had no one to advocate for him-this made me physically sick to think about.
I think for now that was my major concerns-I will say I was very proactive in calling the hospital in Germany and making sure they knew his medical history, that he had a family who loved him and trying to get myself physically to him. I more than likely was at times over-sensitive and very emotional but the situation warranted these as well as so many other emotions. I had to do what I had to do/I had to be strong and persistant-The Army was so new at dealing with so many wounded soldiers-especially national guard. The system wasn't set up for it-not that I got much comfort from that fact..it was a fact. I will say in the year since we were initially in this situation many parts of the system have been changed for the better. I have been in contact with whomever will listen in DC as well as our own state capital telling our story-I know it has made some difference and we are part of the change....that makes me feel good that some other family won't have to go thru all we did. I just hope I can be looked at as a strong advocate instead of a troublemaker. :)
More later to my faithful blog followers...
(not a novel yet)
Tracy
So recap on why the experience was a nightmare:
1.) I wasn't contacted when my husband was seriously wounded in a war zone. I was listed as next of kin and contact person. My in laws were contacted instead at about 1am by the company commander because he felt this was in my best interest based on meeting me 2 times.He stated my husband was unconsious so he took it upon himself to make the decision on who to call (which according to my husband and others he wasn't the entire time they were working on him) What is supposed to happen is this; The company commander is to contact the state (in the case of National Guard) and the state liaison/officer assigned from rear detachment, then contacts the spouse/next of kin listed,but not between the hours of 11pm and 7am (I think that is right on the times?). The liaisons job is to then stay in contact with the family and help them thru the process of knowing what happened and what was going to happen next. (Just so you know that the commander did inform me after I wrote a detailed email and sent it to anybody and everybody that he was reprimanded for making a decision that wasn't his to make).
2.)The officer from the state of Kansas that first contacted me ( I guess he was my liason???)-pretty much left me on my own after a few days and then wouldn't return my phone calls on a timely basis then when he did I actually knew more than he did.
He couldn't handle it if I got emotional at all.
3.)No one could tell me when or if I would be able to be at my husbands bedside when he got back stateside nor for sure what medical facility he would be going to. There are many hoops to jump thru or in military talk-certain things have to happen before we can make arrangements for you to fly to him (like the dr. saying he can have visitors???)-I will say when all was said and done, they did make my flight arrangements and pay for my flight to and from)
4.)I call people and they don't call me back or they pass the buck or they pass along a lot of mis-information. (mis-information is a huge issue-I got to the point where I would start every conversation with I need your help but if you do not know the answer just say "I don't know but I can help you find out"-don't give me information that may or may not be the case. I really hated that no one in whatever dept. of the govt. I spoke to seemed to be held accountable for the information they passed out.
5.) I hated that my wounded soldier was being treated in a foreign country and he was unable to speak for himself or even understand most of the time what was even happening and he had no one to advocate for him-this made me physically sick to think about.
I think for now that was my major concerns-I will say I was very proactive in calling the hospital in Germany and making sure they knew his medical history, that he had a family who loved him and trying to get myself physically to him. I more than likely was at times over-sensitive and very emotional but the situation warranted these as well as so many other emotions. I had to do what I had to do/I had to be strong and persistant-The Army was so new at dealing with so many wounded soldiers-especially national guard. The system wasn't set up for it-not that I got much comfort from that fact..it was a fact. I will say in the year since we were initially in this situation many parts of the system have been changed for the better. I have been in contact with whomever will listen in DC as well as our own state capital telling our story-I know it has made some difference and we are part of the change....that makes me feel good that some other family won't have to go thru all we did. I just hope I can be looked at as a strong advocate instead of a troublemaker. :)
More later to my faithful blog followers...
(not a novel yet)
Tracy
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Oct. 15, 2006 7:21-am call to Germany
Sunday:
Started out the day with a phone call to Germany to check up on Rodney. The nurses overall have been amazing and more than happy to speak with me and discuss Rodney's medical status. This am I spoke with SPC Pilotte, she stated that:
1) Rod was very agitated and restless during his sleep (picking at things that weren't there etc.)*this was really hard to hear
2)Stated that due to his state of confusion they had taken him for a cat scan-initial results looked good.
3.)He was complaining of pain where he had abdominal surgery-medicating with Tylenol 3
4.)On anitbiotics x2 for respitory infection and for infection control of his open wounds
5.)That the goal was to get him up in a chair today
6.)I asked to have liason from the hospital to call me-I had already requested this so this was the 2nd time. She stated she had left a message for him to call-supposed to around 12pm Germany time.
5.)No solid food yet-just ice chips
6.) he would be flying out on Tuesday-unless they had other patients who had more critical needs and needed the spot on the plane.
7.)to call back later and I could probably speak with Rodney
The rest of my day consisted of going to church which was a nice but a bit overwelming with everyone asking questions and looking at me with sad faces. I tend to get emotional during service normally-but most definatly the place I needed to be on that day and time. Met the wonderful woman-Rene' Evans who was bringing dinner to us this evening.
When I returned home after church I listened to my messages on the home phone-(this was the first time I had left and no one was there to take phone calls)I had missed a really important call that I had been waiting for, for over 2 days-the call from Rodney's commander Major Gonzales. He did call me back from Iraq at approx. 2pm central time. I was had so many questions for him:
1)I wanted to know what happened: all he could tell me was that "25 soldiers were standing around the command post area,inside the FOB, so no one had body armour on-there were 4 injured, Rod was knocked unconsious and wounded the most seriously." He also state because of Operational Security he could only say "they made contact".
2.) I wanted to know WHY he contacted my inlaws and not me-because I knew Rodney had me listed as his contact person. (I am his wife!!!) He stated "I made the decision not to inform you after seeing you upset in the airport when we left" (ok this is a real touchy issue with me-I was upset but who wouldn't be-I was crying, the kids were crying but we weren't hysterical) He also said I had gotten sick in Mississippi before they left for Iraq because Rodney was leaving-(also a situation where he did not have all the information-he judged and made assumptions after only meeting me briefly 2 times)-
So I wasn't really happy with his answers and didn't feel I had gained much information, but with him being Rodney's commander I trusted he was doing his job and showed him respect. (As this story goes on you will find out why I lost all respect for him and we have issues with him to this very minute)
I did have a my 2nd conversation with Rodney after speaking with his nurse Capt. Zebb around 10:30pm central time-
He stated Rodney had given them a really difficult time during the catscan (made me wonder what he was thinking they were doing to him?),described Rodney's leg wounds in more detail-stating that one was 1 1/2 inches deep and the other 1 onch deep. I told him the liason had not contacted me as of yet, he would follow up on that he said.Flight on Tuesday scheduled for 2 pm departure and it is about a 10 hour flight (wow) The conversation with rodney was better than Saturday-but he still was really out of it. He spoke for a few minutes with Carley and Connor-which thrilled them to death. He was very weepy, emotional and apologizing. I reassured him and told him I would be with him soon. (getting so frustrating I just want to see him and be there to take care of him). I asked him "test" guestions-such as our address, my name, our anniversary, the kids names... he passed! The nurse had stated earlier that rodney didn't know who the President was-so I wanted to see for myself how confused he was-but this was a conversation he still cannot recall to this day. Glad I wrote all this down:)
sorry this is out of order-I didn't want to start over....
In the afternoon the Pastor came by and prayed with carley and I-as well as listened to our concerns, emotions, and offered comfort and suggestions. He suggested scripture Matthew 21;18-21.
*I look back on all that occured during this time and wonder where was Connor and taylor or how was I just going about my business-but you do what you have to do to get thru it with having faith it will be ok. During this I am spending a great amount of time on the phone trying to get travel orders-since no one could really tell me at the time what the process was.
More of the continuing saga later-
Imagining and Believing
Tracy
Started out the day with a phone call to Germany to check up on Rodney. The nurses overall have been amazing and more than happy to speak with me and discuss Rodney's medical status. This am I spoke with SPC Pilotte, she stated that:
1) Rod was very agitated and restless during his sleep (picking at things that weren't there etc.)*this was really hard to hear
2)Stated that due to his state of confusion they had taken him for a cat scan-initial results looked good.
3.)He was complaining of pain where he had abdominal surgery-medicating with Tylenol 3
4.)On anitbiotics x2 for respitory infection and for infection control of his open wounds
5.)That the goal was to get him up in a chair today
6.)I asked to have liason from the hospital to call me-I had already requested this so this was the 2nd time. She stated she had left a message for him to call-supposed to around 12pm Germany time.
5.)No solid food yet-just ice chips
6.) he would be flying out on Tuesday-unless they had other patients who had more critical needs and needed the spot on the plane.
7.)to call back later and I could probably speak with Rodney
The rest of my day consisted of going to church which was a nice but a bit overwelming with everyone asking questions and looking at me with sad faces. I tend to get emotional during service normally-but most definatly the place I needed to be on that day and time. Met the wonderful woman-Rene' Evans who was bringing dinner to us this evening.
When I returned home after church I listened to my messages on the home phone-(this was the first time I had left and no one was there to take phone calls)I had missed a really important call that I had been waiting for, for over 2 days-the call from Rodney's commander Major Gonzales. He did call me back from Iraq at approx. 2pm central time. I was had so many questions for him:
1)I wanted to know what happened: all he could tell me was that "25 soldiers were standing around the command post area,inside the FOB, so no one had body armour on-there were 4 injured, Rod was knocked unconsious and wounded the most seriously." He also state because of Operational Security he could only say "they made contact".
2.) I wanted to know WHY he contacted my inlaws and not me-because I knew Rodney had me listed as his contact person. (I am his wife!!!) He stated "I made the decision not to inform you after seeing you upset in the airport when we left" (ok this is a real touchy issue with me-I was upset but who wouldn't be-I was crying, the kids were crying but we weren't hysterical) He also said I had gotten sick in Mississippi before they left for Iraq because Rodney was leaving-(also a situation where he did not have all the information-he judged and made assumptions after only meeting me briefly 2 times)-
So I wasn't really happy with his answers and didn't feel I had gained much information, but with him being Rodney's commander I trusted he was doing his job and showed him respect. (As this story goes on you will find out why I lost all respect for him and we have issues with him to this very minute)
I did have a my 2nd conversation with Rodney after speaking with his nurse Capt. Zebb around 10:30pm central time-
He stated Rodney had given them a really difficult time during the catscan (made me wonder what he was thinking they were doing to him?),described Rodney's leg wounds in more detail-stating that one was 1 1/2 inches deep and the other 1 onch deep. I told him the liason had not contacted me as of yet, he would follow up on that he said.Flight on Tuesday scheduled for 2 pm departure and it is about a 10 hour flight (wow) The conversation with rodney was better than Saturday-but he still was really out of it. He spoke for a few minutes with Carley and Connor-which thrilled them to death. He was very weepy, emotional and apologizing. I reassured him and told him I would be with him soon. (getting so frustrating I just want to see him and be there to take care of him). I asked him "test" guestions-such as our address, my name, our anniversary, the kids names... he passed! The nurse had stated earlier that rodney didn't know who the President was-so I wanted to see for myself how confused he was-but this was a conversation he still cannot recall to this day. Glad I wrote all this down:)
sorry this is out of order-I didn't want to start over....
In the afternoon the Pastor came by and prayed with carley and I-as well as listened to our concerns, emotions, and offered comfort and suggestions. He suggested scripture Matthew 21;18-21.
*I look back on all that occured during this time and wonder where was Connor and taylor or how was I just going about my business-but you do what you have to do to get thru it with having faith it will be ok. During this I am spending a great amount of time on the phone trying to get travel orders-since no one could really tell me at the time what the process was.
More of the continuing saga later-
Imagining and Believing
Tracy
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Conversation with Doctor...Finally
10/15/2006 sunday
I had asked to speak to rodney's dr. and telephone meeting was set up-because of the time difference it was for 12:30 am on the 15th-I was so ready to hear from the dr. I was willing to set it for anytime. A Dr. Marco from Landstuhl army Hospital called and this is what he said.
1.)Mortar wounds to chest and legs-shrapnel will stay in becasue it would cause more damage to try and remove (knew all this except it was the first time I had heard the word "MORTAR"-I didn't know hardly anything about what had actually happened.
2.)Be transported to Walter Reed on Tuesday
3.)Rodney had had abdominal surgery as an exporatory measure-so huge scar on stomach from below chest around belly button and ending below that. Closed with staples. Not sure if surgery was done in Mosul or Balad Iraq? (1st time I had heard this also)
4.)Coughing a great deal and most likely developing Pnemonia-they put him on antibiotics. The dr. spoke of the difficulty of removing him from the respirator-his blood ox levels kept dropping and at one point thought they might have to put him back on it,. but they were now giving him breathing treatments and taking regular chest xrays.
5.) stated he was waking up more, but they were having a hard time keeping him awake and seemed to be really confused. He was really fighting them and wouldn't leave in IV or oxygen. Dr. mentioned he might have had a concussion from the blast and would contribute to his behavior. I shared with him that Rodney had history of having a difficult time coming out of sedation. There was no mention of a head CT scan.
6. Stated he shouldn't have lasting effects from his lung injuries.
7. explained to me how deep the soft tissue leg wounds were-I was surprised how deep he described them since I had no idea how deep they were. The earlier information made it sound as they were nothing.
8. Stated he had a cracked bone in chest are-I believe he said sternum-but will heal on its own.
The Dr. and I had a good discussion-I felt like I now had more of a picture of Rod's condition. I did share with the dr. some of Rodney's health history (allergies, asthma etc..) so I felt I was helping to get him the best health care-from clear across the world I could. I still felt like someone needed to be there with him-he had to be so confused and scared.
(This is one of the things that needs to change and I believe it is to some point with the system-the wounded need someone to advocate for them and they need family around as soon as possible for many reasons.)
until next time- (more on sunday the 15th)
T-
I had asked to speak to rodney's dr. and telephone meeting was set up-because of the time difference it was for 12:30 am on the 15th-I was so ready to hear from the dr. I was willing to set it for anytime. A Dr. Marco from Landstuhl army Hospital called and this is what he said.
1.)Mortar wounds to chest and legs-shrapnel will stay in becasue it would cause more damage to try and remove (knew all this except it was the first time I had heard the word "MORTAR"-I didn't know hardly anything about what had actually happened.
2.)Be transported to Walter Reed on Tuesday
3.)Rodney had had abdominal surgery as an exporatory measure-so huge scar on stomach from below chest around belly button and ending below that. Closed with staples. Not sure if surgery was done in Mosul or Balad Iraq? (1st time I had heard this also)
4.)Coughing a great deal and most likely developing Pnemonia-they put him on antibiotics. The dr. spoke of the difficulty of removing him from the respirator-his blood ox levels kept dropping and at one point thought they might have to put him back on it,. but they were now giving him breathing treatments and taking regular chest xrays.
5.) stated he was waking up more, but they were having a hard time keeping him awake and seemed to be really confused. He was really fighting them and wouldn't leave in IV or oxygen. Dr. mentioned he might have had a concussion from the blast and would contribute to his behavior. I shared with him that Rodney had history of having a difficult time coming out of sedation. There was no mention of a head CT scan.
6. Stated he shouldn't have lasting effects from his lung injuries.
7. explained to me how deep the soft tissue leg wounds were-I was surprised how deep he described them since I had no idea how deep they were. The earlier information made it sound as they were nothing.
8. Stated he had a cracked bone in chest are-I believe he said sternum-but will heal on its own.
The Dr. and I had a good discussion-I felt like I now had more of a picture of Rod's condition. I did share with the dr. some of Rodney's health history (allergies, asthma etc..) so I felt I was helping to get him the best health care-from clear across the world I could. I still felt like someone needed to be there with him-he had to be so confused and scared.
(This is one of the things that needs to change and I believe it is to some point with the system-the wounded need someone to advocate for them and they need family around as soon as possible for many reasons.)
until next time- (more on sunday the 15th)
T-
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
More of the story-stil Oct. 14, 2006
(I will try and finish up this really long day and pretty frustrating day.
The nurse from Germany did say one thing that didn't set right with me-when I mentioned Rodney being Army National Guard-His reaction was "OHHH he isn't real army"-what does that mean? They are fighting in the same war, from the same country, they wear the same uniform and they work/fight side-by-side. Not sure what this means in the whole scheme of things but hopefully he still get the same medical treatment!
The Chaplin did come to the house and visited with me and other members of the family. It was a very informational visit and spiritually it helped a great deal.
I really liked him-Chaplin Larry Parrish was one of the first people from the military to show sincere compassion during this process.
Went to Connor's soccer game-he had a really good game and it was great to get out among people for awhile. I got lots of hugs :)
After the game I had a house full again-mostly family. I called Germany to see about having the phone held up to Rodney's ear and was told they couldn't and wouldn't do that-I was told earlier in the day differently-it sent me over the edge.
I got very upset and felt nothing was in my control-I just wanted someone to hear me to know I needed help and everyone was looking at me like I was acting irrational.. I probably was but who wouldn't in a similar situation-my husband was wounded and in a foreign country, I ended up leaving my house to drive around-I recieved a phone call on my cell from a high ranking officer in the KS National Guard (I can't remember his name but I am sure he remembers mine)-Not one of my prouder moments...
The issue was me being able to speak TO my husband even if he was sedated and on a respirator-this person told me there was no way Rodney could hear me-I asked him if he had a medical degree and told him that rank didn't matter to me especially when I felt he was not showing me respect by validating my feelings and hung up on him-I was really in a bad place!
My sister called and did the most amazing thing-she asked me what can I do? Just tell me what you need me to do and what you want to do? I needed that so much!!! Thank you Lisa! By the time I got home everyone but my mom, sister and 2 of my children were home. What did I tell her I wanted? A nap and for someone to man the phones-and only wake me if it was news about Rodney.
I finally did get to talk to my husband 8 hours later (approx. 10:15pm our time) and it was such a gift! He was just off the respirator and it was a pretty one sided conversation but even hearing his voice being raspy was amazing.-He kept falling asleep on the phone but in between kept telling me how much he loved me and the kids and how sorry he was he got hurt.
The one really strange thing he asked was "did you get my letter?" I told him no not yet-I had asked him for so long to write me a letter-he had told me earlier in the week before he was wounded he had written one-but I had no idea he actually had sent it from Iraq (My husband says alot of things just to apease me-LOL). It seemed strange-but even stranger when I realized a few days later he did not remember even talking to me or the kids the first couple times. The mind is a most mysterious place-why did he remember the letter but couldn't tell the nurse who the president was? (I recieved his letter on the following Tuesday-5 days after he was wounded-I will treasure it forever). No matter what the first time speaking to him was a gift and made me believe he would be ok-now I just had to get to him.
To be continued...
Sorry so long-again I hope it makes some sense :.)
T-
The nurse from Germany did say one thing that didn't set right with me-when I mentioned Rodney being Army National Guard-His reaction was "OHHH he isn't real army"-what does that mean? They are fighting in the same war, from the same country, they wear the same uniform and they work/fight side-by-side. Not sure what this means in the whole scheme of things but hopefully he still get the same medical treatment!
The Chaplin did come to the house and visited with me and other members of the family. It was a very informational visit and spiritually it helped a great deal.
I really liked him-Chaplin Larry Parrish was one of the first people from the military to show sincere compassion during this process.
Went to Connor's soccer game-he had a really good game and it was great to get out among people for awhile. I got lots of hugs :)
After the game I had a house full again-mostly family. I called Germany to see about having the phone held up to Rodney's ear and was told they couldn't and wouldn't do that-I was told earlier in the day differently-it sent me over the edge.
I got very upset and felt nothing was in my control-I just wanted someone to hear me to know I needed help and everyone was looking at me like I was acting irrational.. I probably was but who wouldn't in a similar situation-my husband was wounded and in a foreign country, I ended up leaving my house to drive around-I recieved a phone call on my cell from a high ranking officer in the KS National Guard (I can't remember his name but I am sure he remembers mine)-Not one of my prouder moments...
The issue was me being able to speak TO my husband even if he was sedated and on a respirator-this person told me there was no way Rodney could hear me-I asked him if he had a medical degree and told him that rank didn't matter to me especially when I felt he was not showing me respect by validating my feelings and hung up on him-I was really in a bad place!
My sister called and did the most amazing thing-she asked me what can I do? Just tell me what you need me to do and what you want to do? I needed that so much!!! Thank you Lisa! By the time I got home everyone but my mom, sister and 2 of my children were home. What did I tell her I wanted? A nap and for someone to man the phones-and only wake me if it was news about Rodney.
I finally did get to talk to my husband 8 hours later (approx. 10:15pm our time) and it was such a gift! He was just off the respirator and it was a pretty one sided conversation but even hearing his voice being raspy was amazing.-He kept falling asleep on the phone but in between kept telling me how much he loved me and the kids and how sorry he was he got hurt.
The one really strange thing he asked was "did you get my letter?" I told him no not yet-I had asked him for so long to write me a letter-he had told me earlier in the week before he was wounded he had written one-but I had no idea he actually had sent it from Iraq (My husband says alot of things just to apease me-LOL). It seemed strange-but even stranger when I realized a few days later he did not remember even talking to me or the kids the first couple times. The mind is a most mysterious place-why did he remember the letter but couldn't tell the nurse who the president was? (I recieved his letter on the following Tuesday-5 days after he was wounded-I will treasure it forever). No matter what the first time speaking to him was a gift and made me believe he would be ok-now I just had to get to him.
To be continued...
Sorry so long-again I hope it makes some sense :.)
T-
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