One month to go......Stop the Procrastination!

I am on the downhill slide to finish my 2nd semester of Grad school. May 5th I will be one year into a three year program. I should be feeling good about where I am standing at this point, I mean I have proven I can do it. Why do I feel like I could just let it all go and screw it up? I have learned so much and really enjoy the interaction with the instructors and the other students. I start my practicum next fall, which means This is my ticket to so many changes in my life and to prove I am still capable to accomplish what I need to, even other parts of life stay stressful.

I have two classes-Research & Behavior Theory. I am doing ok in both, but better in the Theory class. I have missed the Research class so many times, and attendance doesn't count towards our grade. I am having a harder time grasping this class and add not going to class for being ill or whatever is not helping. I know this, I really do..and I have a project due that I am supposed to do with a group, some of my friends. I am letting them down as well as myself.I may end up doing a project and presentation by myself, I wouldn't blame them. I don't know if I can do a project on a subject I don't really understand...but I have to try. I don't want to get by I want to do my best...to be proud of myself and for my kids to be proud. I have to finish and do well enough to continue...it is all I really have. Why am I sabotaging myself?I feel like I cannot move, like I am even afraid to try. Procrastination is an understatement! I need to get up tomorrow and overcome whatever is holding me back...do my homework, face up to my group and figure out what I am doing for this project for April 19th. I need to be stubborn and do whatever it takes to get the work done for both classes. Ok...that is my confession for today...hopefully I can move forward and look back at this and know I fixed it!I know my depression is kicking in and physically I have had some stomach issues again as well as headaches. It is all tied to everything....I can't let this be the end of my dream.

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Back in the Swing of School

Hi all-
Just a short post to let you know I am doing well, just busy with school along with our crazy life. This is my 2nd semester at KU in the Master's in Social Welfare program. It is challenging and at times I wonder is it worth it but I always quickly come to the conclusion that all things worth doing are work! My classes this semester are "Human Behavior Theory" and "Research". Sound pretty boring and dry huh? I have 2 really great instructors so hopefully that will help. That is one thing about this program..the instructors really do care! I have class this afternoon so I better get my homework done...always the procrastinator! Wish there was a cure for that..LOL!
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Stepping Outside the Normal

Last evening a monumantal event occured in my life. Nothing with balloons or fireworks, just me walking into a classroom full of other students and taking a seat. I STARTED GRAD SCHOOL! I was anxious and actually a few minutes late due to traffic but I made it and I am so excited for this experience. Studying to get my Master's in Social Welfare feels so right! I am so sure about something for the first time in a long time. The challenge of school and knowing I will someday be a part of the change in something I am passionate about... makes me smile. One of those hu ge SMILES that probably make others wonder what I have been up to :) I am looking forward to getting to know my fellow students and instructors. This is good! This something I own..the military can't take away or complicate. When I am there I am not defined by what has happened to me but can allow my life experiences to assist me in my studies and expand on and share.
Can you tell I am EXCITED?? So this new part of my life is a great new normal! I can't wait to see what is next...
PS Since May I have lost 25 pounds...feeling better everyday and loving moving down sizes. A lot more to go but taking it slow and learning to eat healthy.
I hope all of you out there are doing well...I am working on getting back into blogging-so much has happened both good and bad....but I will save that for another day.
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy