I am Allergic to Bureauracy!

If you have read any of my blog over the last couple years about us and our journey... you have probably already figured that out,I can be very vocal about the craziness of life that we live...due to Rodney being wounded in combat in 2006. There have been many blessings and as well as challenges. We have learned to dance steps to a dance we didn't know and play a game we didn't know the rules to. Dealing with all the processes and powers that be has been the most frustrating situations I could ever have imagined. So from now on in my life I am diagnosing myself allergic to bureaucracy! Which could be interesting since I am going to be a social worker, believe me I am going to try and not be part of the problem.
I thought I would update as to where we are as of today. Since I haven't done that in awhile..so here we go!

1. Rodney has still not finished the med-board process & yes it has been over 3 years since he was wounded. In fact he has another med-board appt. tomorrow at Ft. Riley, for behavior health.Hopefully this is the very last one but we are prepared for the possibility it isn't. This means he is still formally in the Kansas National Guard...limbo actually since he is not able to participate in drill. They extended his time in the military by another year...since the process in still in motion. the worst part is not having ANY communication about what is happening, say for instance a case manager who calls us once a month..no way, we call, we call and they don't call back.We have come to expect that as horrible as that is! We do have a FRC (Federal Recovery Coordinator) now, but she is clear in Georgia. I have been doing this for so long now, I sometimes feel I know at least as much as she does, and probably more consider I live it every day.
2.Physically & emotionally Rodney is worse off than he was when he first came home. He is 46, not one of the younger soldiers. He is now wearing a knee brace and uses a cane most of the time. He will need to have a knee replacement at some point (VA likes to wait until age 50.His pain level depends on the day. He had an appt. recently with his primary. Rodney is on about 15-20 meds a day from psysh drugs to blood pressure to high cholesterol to pain. We keep the list on the fridge so we can grab it in an emergency. I know Rod struggles emotionally with his TBI & PTSD as well as not feeling as capable as he was before. I wish I could say him going to the hospital as an in-patient has helped, but I would be lying. His memory, his ability to follow through and his impulsiveness seem to get a little better then go the other direction. I am so defeated some days. Honestly there is so much and it is so difficult on our relationship and his relationships with the kids.
3. The decision from Social Security has been made but we don't know what it is yet...we have to wait for it to come in the mail! We are of course hoping for the positive and that we will get some financial support since Rodney cannot work. So we should know soon...I will let you know!!!!
4. I received my letter that I am good to receive Chapter 35 education benefits. This means that I will receive a stipin to help pay for grad school according to the hours I am taking. So since I am going part-time I should get around $400 a month and they are paying in arrears to when I started school last fall...so this is good news!
5. We are now on Champ-VA medical insurance, so no more paying $600 for health insurance like we have been doing since Rodney lost his job in June. This is going to be a huge savings for us. I am not sure about the coverage yet but we will figure it out.
I am done for now, it is late and after writing I realize how far we have come but it may not lead us where we had all planned. We are still waiting to see where we will end up...same as we have for years now. It is exhausting! I look forward to the day we feel more in charge of our own lives!

Send good thoughts that Rod's appt. goes well tomorrow.

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Gustav Assistance

3:40pm update: I just spoke with Rodney and they are still in Kansas preparing to go-paperwork, yada, yada, yada... I asked him if they were for sure going and he said they were leaving tommorow and it would be about a 24 hour drive in military vehicles-after looking at the news online I am not seeing why they would be going still. I really don't want him to go due to health issues still outstanding-but with it being Labor Day there is no one with any say so around. Just have to wait and see what happens.

Rodney just left to go with his National Guard unit to the gulf area to do damage control and help out in any way they can. We were very surprised he was called up to go since he still have so many issues with his wounds from 20 months ago but he is on his way with a temp. profile stating he can do less than the normal soldier would be expected to do. Kind of a strange feeling having him leave in uniform again and go some where on orders after everything that has happened and is still happening with trying to get his medical condition taken care of. That will be on hold for now. Pray for the safety of the soldiers and those who live in the gulf area especially in New Orleans. I will keep you all updated as I know more about the units status as they help out with damage done by Gustav.
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Burden of Proof on the Wounded

Sorry about the pretty picture of my husbands belly!
there is a reason for sharing it on todays post.
Today I intended to write about a subject less frustrating but after dealing with some more military based issues the last few days I really need to VENT.
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It seems that the 15 months Rodney spent on medhold with CBHCO was pretty much a waste of time. They did not take good care of him-his medical records are missing important documentation, there are items mentioned in the documents that we were not even aware of medically and the biggest issue is he was let out of the program that was supposed to help him become fit for duty before all his medical problems were addressed. We have a Lt. here in Kansas that is working hard on our case-which she says is one of the most messed up she has ever seen. That is pretty much been our entire experience! We know nothing moves quickly in the military system and we need patience but now we have to prove Rodney's issues are a direct result of his being wounded. (ie his hernia along his incision from abdominal surgery he received somewhere in Iraq-a not so pretty scar I might mention that obviously was done in a situation where medical care was done quickly)We want the hernia fixed but we don't have any documentation the surgery ever took place?? Wow-burden of proof on him-a soldier who went to a foreign country and was wounded in the line of duty and was at the mercy of others to take care of him. So he might get put back on medhold if they accept him into the program. We need this to happen so he can have the surgery and recover without having to use sick days from work which I am not even sure he has accrued enough to do so. He wants to be med boarded out because he doesn't feel he can serve the Army as the soldier he was before he was wounded, plus he is tired, but even his cardiologist says he is fit for duty (civilian dr. I might add!)
We just want to move on with our lives-get a house-put this all behind us, but again we wait. There are two sides to this coin: Army and VA.We are dealing with both simultaneously) Waiting for disability ratings that is what the wait is for.
I am thankful we are meeting with the Lt. on Monday and Rodney will see a doc on post Wed. but just so tired of living with knowing we have to stay on this almost daily. We just want to be treated fairly and for everyone to do their jobs! We feel we are doing ours!
Sorry for the pity party post :(
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Can you hear me SCREAMING!

Pretty catchy title-huh?
Really though nothing is wrong where I am actually bleeding at this point and I haven't started tearing out my hair or anyone else's YET! It has just been so crazy-the last week or two!!!! Today is one of those days when Rodney and I both feel at war with the military/VA/social security system You name it we are making phone call, sending emails and pulling out the big guns.
There is so much that is not right about this situation-as I have said before..

Rodney has been doing his own legwork when it has come to getting all his medical records to the VA-twice now he has had to make trips, do the copying and then send them UPS at our cost. We are still waiting to see what happens next-if the VA needs something else which is all very possible. I don't understand why he doesn't have a liaison to be helping him through this!!!! (I wonder how many times I have said that same thing about any part of this process in the last 2+ years!)
Rodney is struggling so-he even had to take a day of sick leave to try and get something moving or get some kind of answer to anything.He is having a hard time dealing with this most likely due to his PTSD-which he hasn't been seen for since March! He is supposed to report for drill duty this month-HA! ... he can't run,or do sit ups (he has a hernia due to his surgery in Iraq).The state of Kansas has not said what is going to happen with him..and no one will call us back. I made my call to DC today to my amazing contact/friend Terrie and she will do her job. that is one thing I can count on!After I got off the phone with her I smiled at Rodney and made the motion of "stirring the POT". He chuckled and said I don't know what I would do without you. He has also been trying to find out why he no longer is being covered by Tricare-he was wounded in action in Iraq the place where our country is fighting a WAR?
Financially we are drowning-we had to turn down the opportunity to purchase a house from a friend at a really good price because right now we can't be sure of anything.
Oh and Social security benefits for the time he was on med hold-we were told he would most likely qualify-now they are saying not!! Not giving up that fight yet.
UGGHHHHHHH!!!!!&#*&^% Hear me screaming and cussing yet!!
On top of all of this we have daily life..school starting, and extra news concerning my oldest Taylor (I will share more later) I am so stressed out right now-I can feel my self shaking inside-but it happens every time I deal with the unfairness of the green machine. I have to admit I avoid it if I can because I know what will happen to me.
I know I need stress relief-Calgon or rum take me away!!!!!
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Rodney's Wounds from a mortar attack

(pic of Rodney's chest showing where shrapnel entered his body. I love that the pic shows the special dog tag I had ordered I gave him with a pic of him and Connor as well as my "little engagement ring he always wore on his dogtags :) )The wounds Rodney sustained from a mortar attack on Camp Marez in Mosul,Iraq after only being in country, boots on the ground for 42 days-
Some of the details of Rodney's wounds I knew when I found out the news and when I was officially notified by the Dept. of Army (DA) while others I found out over the next week and a half.

He had soft tissue wounds to both legs from the shrapnel fragments. The wound on his left leg was up high on his hip flexer. It was approx. the size of a babyfood jar lid and went clear to the bone. He lost a great deal of blood due to this wound and didn't bleed out only because one of the other soldiers put his knee and body weight on the wound to slow the bleeding. The wound on his left leg was located in the inner thigh area-it was much larger (you couldv'e layed a pop can in it-but not nearly as deep or life threatening). He had shrapnel wounds to the chest area-which in turn penetrated his lung and caused a collapsed lung as well as the chest cavity filling with blood. He had lost consiousness upon the blast happening but woke up and was aware most of the the time the medics and other soldiers were working with him before he was able to be transferred to the small base hospital. He wa taken into surgery for his lung issues, cleaning up of other wounds and he had exploratory abdominal surgery. He was put on a respirator. He was heavily sedated-drug induced coma and medvaced out of Mosul to Landstuhl, Germany-Army Hosptial with in a 36 hour period.(keep in mind Iraq is 8 hours ahead of us-central time)-After Landstuhl he was flown to DC and spent 2 days at a medical facility at Andrew Airforce Base then was sent to Eisenhower Army Hospital at Fort Gordon in Augusta, GA. While there a small piece of shrapnel was discovered during a routine CT-this piece was located in the center of his heart, in the muscle,between the four chambers. It was decided by the medical staff to leave it since it would most likely cause more damage to the heart to go in a remove it. The doctors were amazed and he shouldn't be here due to that one wound-he is a case study and there isn't many previous cases to use as research. The normal protocol for shrapnel in the body is to leave it (he has many small pieces throught his chest area and legs still today-that may or may not work their way out from underneath the skin by themselves over the years.) Rodney also suffers from PTSD, depression and possible TBI (tramamtic brain injury. He also has a few other medical issues due to the incident. He is still under the care of many doctors and is still on what they call "medhold". He goes to work for the Army everyday and continues to be a proud, patriotic soldier.

I believe Rodney is here by the grace of God- He is our Superman!

Tracy