Rodney Still Waiting

Not anything to exciting happening with Rod, (he did go back again to his civilian job today after the hurricane assistance deployment),but since I hadn't mentioned it since the beginning of the month I thought I would give you all a short update. He went to his civilian primary dr. last week and had a full physical. The dr. filled out what is called a physician statement. It states all of his medical issues that are still present or that have gotten worse since being let off of medhold in March. The dr. had pretty much point blank say how each issue was a result of being wounded in action and/or service related. It was faxed to the State Surgeons office and will go to a board to see if they agree he needs to be put back on orders and all of the medical issues taken care of.This is all supposed to be expedited from here. We will see. I really hope so!!! We just want something positive to happen and get on down the road and know he will be taken care of for life and that financially he receive what is coming to him benefit wise. I know the economy more than stinks right now-for us it has especially during the last 2 years.

Rodney's Wounds Such as:
1. A hernia that is 3x time larger (located in the abdominal incision that was done in Iraq to save his life) and obviously needs to be surgically repaired.
The dr. told him not to do sit up or exercise that uses the stomach muscles. He is also supposed to be very cautious with lifting.

2. Chronic outer ear infections (they started after his return home and we have been told there is some sort of bacteria in the dirt in Iraq that can do funky things).

3.The PTSD(he has had several episodes in recent months during thunder storms).

4. Rehab on his legs-they hurt and bother him on a daily basis. Never properly rehabbed so still very weak muscles-and nerve damage around his knee where he cannot feel even a needle stick.

5. The bleeding heavily and bruising easily issue.

I think those are the major things-at least all I can think of for now. My memory isn't working at tip top shape these days. I am so tired of worrying about medical issues, going to dr. appt.s etc.. With getting old, the stress and his wounds it seems like that is our main topic of conversation is health!

Wonder when will I start talking about the weather all the time (remember that really cold Fall in 1995) and telling my kids about their cousin in Arkansas they met once, just like my Grandma used to do soon. LOL
I could do worse my Grandma was a fun and loving person that always made me laugh.
I would love to laugh-that would feel really good!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

What COULD Happen next

I have so much to do today so I just wanted to get on here and let you know that our meeting with Lt. Tipton went very well yesterday. We are a great deal clearer on what is happening, what happened before to cause what is happening now and what we can expect in the near future. Best scenerio I guess is Rodney going back on medhold and having his medical issues completly handled. He would live on post for this so he would be away from home but we can deal with that. Then he would go back to CBHCO-but not out of Arkansas out of Salt Lake. He would only be there for a short time and come back and work close to home until the army decides to medboard him out or keep him with his MOS. Tommorow we head to Leavenworth for a battery of medical exams and I will be his second pair of eyes and ears. We will see what happens after that because he has to be accepted into the program I spoke of earlier. I know very confusing and it affects each of us-changing insurance again back to tricare (we are getting ready to do braces and sinus surgery on Carley)
One day at a time or I would lose my freakin mind. BAHHHHHHH!
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Burden of Proof on the Wounded

Sorry about the pretty picture of my husbands belly!
there is a reason for sharing it on todays post.
Today I intended to write about a subject less frustrating but after dealing with some more military based issues the last few days I really need to VENT.
________________________________________________________________________________
It seems that the 15 months Rodney spent on medhold with CBHCO was pretty much a waste of time. They did not take good care of him-his medical records are missing important documentation, there are items mentioned in the documents that we were not even aware of medically and the biggest issue is he was let out of the program that was supposed to help him become fit for duty before all his medical problems were addressed. We have a Lt. here in Kansas that is working hard on our case-which she says is one of the most messed up she has ever seen. That is pretty much been our entire experience! We know nothing moves quickly in the military system and we need patience but now we have to prove Rodney's issues are a direct result of his being wounded. (ie his hernia along his incision from abdominal surgery he received somewhere in Iraq-a not so pretty scar I might mention that obviously was done in a situation where medical care was done quickly)We want the hernia fixed but we don't have any documentation the surgery ever took place?? Wow-burden of proof on him-a soldier who went to a foreign country and was wounded in the line of duty and was at the mercy of others to take care of him. So he might get put back on medhold if they accept him into the program. We need this to happen so he can have the surgery and recover without having to use sick days from work which I am not even sure he has accrued enough to do so. He wants to be med boarded out because he doesn't feel he can serve the Army as the soldier he was before he was wounded, plus he is tired, but even his cardiologist says he is fit for duty (civilian dr. I might add!)
We just want to move on with our lives-get a house-put this all behind us, but again we wait. There are two sides to this coin: Army and VA.We are dealing with both simultaneously) Waiting for disability ratings that is what the wait is for.
I am thankful we are meeting with the Lt. on Monday and Rodney will see a doc on post Wed. but just so tired of living with knowing we have to stay on this almost daily. We just want to be treated fairly and for everyone to do their jobs! We feel we are doing ours!
Sorry for the pity party post :(
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Saturday Stuff

Everyone loves a PARADE..and I especially do when one of my loved one's is in it. Saturday morning we spent the morning at "Frontier's Day" in Edgerton watching the parade that Rodney and Carley were participating in. Rodney had the honor of being one of the three Grand Marshall's. Their parade theme was "Unsung Hero's" which was very fitting I thought-He actually served with Lt. Barrett in the 714th. Pete was one of the amazing people that were there that horrible day of the mortar attack. He in fact according to Rodney keep the chaos at a minimum and made sure everything and everyone got taken care of-Thanks Pete! Pete has been fighting his own battle with cancer and is cancer free and looking so well. His wife Christy is another amazing person who made the deployment and the time after Rodney was wounded bearable. It was so good to see them-we need to get together more often! SSG Adair and Rodney are from the same home unit. He served in Iraq in an earlier deployment.
All the them were well deserving of the honor!

Carley was also in the parade with the band in her first appearance as part of the color guard-She looked so cute! I was a proud Mama. The color guard team worked really hard over the last week to prepare for the parade-with over half of the team being new members.

The rest of Saturday was busy with visiting with friends at Frontier's Day and attending Connor's first 3 on 3 Summer Soccer game. He was rocking the field-and made 4 of the 8 goals for his team! It was a fun game. He then went with his friend Dakota to watch him race-not sure what kind of car-He is 11 also! I do know Dakota did very well and won one of the races. Connor had a blast and got to work as part of the crew :)
I spent the evening at home with Beau and Blaze-finishing my third book for the week, watching "Army Wives" and staying cool in the AC. Rodney had to work 2nd shift last night, Taylor worked a pool party until 10pm and Carley was still at her Dad's.(she comes home tommorow after work) She had a great time in Philly on her mission trip-she is a BUSY gal-she leaves on the 30th for camp where she will be a staff member. Lots going on..
Keep Imagining!
Tracy
PS we are still waiting on Rodney's extensive medical records and the VA results from his 3 days of physicals and such, so we still don't know his VA rating or if he will be medically retired. Praying we will know something soon-he has been off medhold for almost 3 months. I know it is a government process-so I don't know why I would expect anything other.

Today is the end and the beginning

March 26th 2008-more than 21 months since Rodney was called to duty as a National Guard soldier, deployed to train in Mississippi, sent to Iraq as part of a Security Force unit, wounded during a mortar attack, came back to the states and was treated in Georgia for his wounds, came home to receive treatment closer to home while working light duty as a soldier-he becomes a civilian/ regular national guard soldier again. No more medhold-no more wondering when the end is to this part of the story. It is here!!! It has been a long road but we are excited to see what God has planned for our family in this new chapter. Still so much to navigate and so many questions still to be answered-you would think I would have some patience by now!! :)
Please keep us in your prayers. I realized I have never posted what exactly happened the day Rodney was wounded-I have video of a couple of the other soldiers giving their recount but I need to figure out how to get it on my blog. (If you can help me in that area please email me!) I do hope our story/journey thus far has made a difference or helped another military family in some way.
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

In a Holding Pattern and Feeling Defeated

I haven't wrote much about our life now and how we are dealing with being a family with a "wounded solider"? Where are we in the process? How does this still affect us on a daily basis? What could still happen? Have we been forgotten and do we have all the information and resources available? Is the system for wounded warriors working any better? These are all such emotional topics for me to tackle especially when I don't even know what questions to ask anymore nor who even to ask.
What I do know (or think I know?)---Rodney's situation is this: he is still on Medhold-which means he is still being treated by doctor's for his injuries or symptoms due to the mortar attack, as of today we are at least looking until June 2008. There are many issues still unresolved. He hasn't been released nor has he been rated for his injuries for any sort of disability from the military or VA. He is still considered on active duty with orders from the federal govt. so he is being paid by the Department of Defense. While he is on Medhold he can't be promoted. He can't go back to his civilian job which actually pays more. (there are actually a lot of can't do's) He is part of the Kansas National Guard but not to the point where they have any say over what happens to him in the system-he is commanded by the unit that handles medhold out of Ft. Robinson, in Arkansas where he spent 3 days in Dec. 2006. He works at the armoury close to home but they aren't in charge of him really either. So essentially we as a family of a wounded solider are out here in limbo. He is supposed to be a part of programs like AW2 (wounded warrior)but that hasn't happened. We were told that we qualified last summer??After countless phone calls and emails no response. We have been ignored and avoided more often than not...It is emotionally exhausting as well as confusing. Sometimes I think parts of the system think we will give up since it is so time consuming and so difficult to navigate thru. I am sure many do give up.
Soooo what happens when we need answers to a question or for that matter any kind of assistance. Well we start asking and calling whomever will listen. We get forgotten or passed over a lot. We have been promised many times results or actions that didn't happen. I have said so many times to people I just wish people would do their JOBS! I am so pessimistic about when someone offers help or advice and I hate being like that. It is now to the point that I really don't want anything to do with the Army. I will admit I am so distrustful. At one point I wanted to make a difference-to somehow fix the system. I don't think that is even possible most days. I just don't understand-why does it all have to be so hard! We have never been sent to a support group for wounded warrior families nor do we know if one even exists.We don't have a peer group or others to turn to to say hey what did you do??? We are struggling as a couple but do not really know where to turn other than the private sector for counseling but that doesn't always take in the 'military factor's of our unique situation. I know Rodney is a solider and he did what he did because he is patriotic. I have stood by him through this 24/7 and am very proud of his sacrifices but I believe we deserve more as a family-not recognition, nor parades or ceremonies-we deserve a system that takes care of our needs that are based on the sacrifices he made as well as the other four of us. We deserve to know what is going on. We deserve the emotional support in so many ways. We deserve fair disability pay. We have had so many groups, organizations, and individuals step up throughout this last 15 months-and we wouldn't have made it without them.We are so thankful, grateful and humbled. These organizations are taxed though-there are so many others seeking their help. We have pretty much exhausted our resources. We have exhausted ourselves. Our family is starting to sink, to drown and to suffer with no where to turn. I don't understand how the military can continue to stand back and watch the families of the wounded destroyed.

But it is happening to us...we are losing the battle...we are growing apart so I ask for help from Rodney's case manager whom is in Arkansas. The topic is private but I will say it is something that took me a lot of courage to call about. Rodney didn't want the help but I know it was needed. She was the one I turned to for the first time about a very important family matter-she basically said the Army couldn't help-we were on our own. So what now??? I have no idea other than praying (which never hurts :))-and getting on with my life without the Army as much as I can?? It hurts too bad to be constantly disappointed in system that is supposed to be there. At least that is how I feel? Army Strong...Not so sure!
Sorry to be do negative but I needed to get it out and let you all know what the system looks like and how there is so much room for improvement.
I suppose this all sounds like ranting and raving-maybe even selfish and ungrateful.
If that is the impression-you have not been in my shoes-and I wouldn't want you to have to be. If you are then you do know and I would love to hear from you.
I really need to know we are not alone-I am not alone as the only national guard wife of a wounded solider on medhold!
So our holding pattern continues but I hope every day to be able to take control of my own life in some way so as not to be defeated. I will admit sometimes I don't want any part of this all anymore.All I know is I am so tired of spinning my wheels and getting no where. I guess for today I do give up...Hopefully tommorow I will feel differently and feel up to fighting the fight for us!

I will try to Keep Imagining and praying (please do the same for all of us in this situation)Thanks for listening!
Tracy

Saying Good-Bye to Georgia and Welcome Home! 2006

Photos of WELCOME HOME on Nov. 1, 2006
I need to finish what I started and get back on track with the original reason for this blog-at least catch up or I will forever be in 2006 and we are only a couple days away from the NEW YEAR-2008! I will just try and hit the highlights and describe some of the feelings and situations we find ourselves in during this time.

October 30-Nov. 1

10/30

• Started off the day by visiting the Medhold Company that Rodney is attached to here in Georgia. The medhold company seems pretty unorganized from my civilian eyes but obviously I am not the one in charge :) Rodney's platoon leader has been very nice and visited us in Rod's hospital room throughout the stay. We sat in an over-crowded office for over 30 minutes waiting to meet with someone who could tell us what was supposed to happen next-not a new place for us but one that does tend to involve some stress. We did finally find out some info.- Rodney will be able to come home for about a month (the days he spent at the Fisher House are considered part of his convalescence leave) and then return to Fort Gordon. He will basically be going to formations, maybe doing some office work, going to Dr. appt.s and live in the barracks (basically like a dorm). We are not sure how long this will go on but hopefully he will be eligible for a program (CBHC) that is new that allows the wounded soldiers to be at home and go to local doctors -we will have to wait and see.


• We then headed over to the Hospital to begin the out-processing so he can be released to go home. We met with his case manager and she gave us the list of what needed to get done. When at Fort Gordon the case worker will be working closely with Rodney and making his dr. appts. and following up to see how he is doing.


• Rod then had an appt. with a primary care physician whom he had never met before, but it is part of the process. She just basically gave him a quick look over and his records etc.. then made a few comments and let us leave. Kinda strange.


• We went to records to get his medical records-long wait so will have to pursue that another day-but very important.


• Met with social worker-not sure why? She wasn't very informative or didn't offer us anything new to take with us on our journey to the unknown.


• Went to the office for travel. We are still struggling to get on same flight-he needs someone to travel with him lucky for him I don't give up without a fight. They seem to recognize my name in this office which means I have made a name for myself-not one they probably want to share with me. I know they are just doing their job but not sure why things have to be so difficult and so much red-tape. I go into everything Army related knowing it will be more work than really necessary.


• We did speak with a VA rep. which was very helpful and insightful. She told us not to allow them to release Rodney from Medhold until he was completely well-even the smallest thing get it taken care of.


• Went back to Fisher House to separate Rodney's belongings into what is going home and what will go over to the barracks.


• Went to get Rodney a new uniform jacket at the PX uniform shop-the one they sent with him-the zipper is busted. This is our dime not the militaries-that is messed up.


• Set up things with Fort Leavenworth medical facility for the time when Rodney is home. He will be able to go to Munson Hospital to get his labs drawn for the blood thinner issues and have his leg wounds monitored. The Fort is about an hour away from where we live in Kansas.

He also had some de-briefing by a Chaplin as well as a mental health provider. I am concerned what is going on in Rod's head a great deal-he has been through a major traumatic event physically and emotionally-but right now they have said they are dealing with healing the physical first. That concerns me-I feel both can be dealt with simutanoulsy and worry about how things will be with the stress of home. We already have our moments where we are butting heads-but hopefully with a lot of love, patience and me helping to keep things less stressful we will make it thru all of this. Maybe...
WE are just wanting to get done whatever needs to be done-jump through whatever hoops we need to-so that Rodney can go home to see all the family including the kids and to be honest-as much as I like Georgia I am getting homesick for good old Kansas!

Rodney doesn't know but I have had some of our good friends at home planning a "small" welcome home when we arrive. I know he will be tired so I am putting the emphasis on "small"-Right now we don't have the ok on our flights together nor do we have a time for a flight-so hopefully all will work out on that. I know there are so many supporters back home who just want to say thank you-as well as our families that just want to see in person he is ok!

next day... Oct. 31, 2006-Happy Halloween! It feels strange to be away from the kids today especially Connor who still enjoys dressing up and going trick-or-treating-he is a vampire this year and I know Mam-mam (rodney's mom) will make sure he has a good time. Carley is going over to a friends house for a party and may-be some trick or treating. She is 13 so most likely the last big Halloween for her as a kid :(-it is hard but they understand (amazing kids)-and we are learning sacrifice is part of being a military family! Our last full day here in Georgia. We finally got the travel situation taken care of-we will be flying together! We will have a connecting flight in Charlotte so hopefully all will run smoothly. We should arrive in Kansas City on Nov. 1st around 5:00pm-so I am making phone calls to get the homecoming reception going now that we have a time of arrival! Last night we went out to dinner with one of the couples (they are from the San Diego, CA area) in the Fisher House and their son-we ate Italian. Fun and good food! It was good to be out-we just cannot move real fast with Rodney's leg injuries-but we can deal with that no problem! Tonight we are going out to eat with another couple to Red Lobster. Adam and Lisa-from North Dakota. We had a good time but it was strange to see all the little kids with their parents dressed-up for Halloween. Kinda a funny-we left the Fort to go into Augusta, so when we returned we had to show our military ID-Rodney didn't bring his. Luckily the guard let other vouch for him and we were let back on Fort. Another fun day of the journey :) Tomorrow we get to go home so packing and last minute details and we our homeward bound!!!!

Nov. 1st, 2006
Rodney went to his last minute appt.s and I packed up. Lisa was kind enough to take us to the airport so I was able to return my rental on the Fort. We flew out of Augusta which is a really small airport-our flight was late taking off but we made it to Charlotte in time for our connection (actually with time to spare but we went and ate and almost missed our flight because Rodney moves slower and wouldn't use airport assistance-but we made it). I will have to say thought that the flight from Charlotte to KC was the most uncomfortable flight I have ever taken-the seats were hard and wouldn't lay back at all-I was miserable and know Rodney had to be...Just a long day of travel after a long couple weeks in Georgia. We arrived in KC and were the last ones off the plane..Rodney's parents and sister brought Connor and a family friend, K, brought up Carley (Taylor was working)-it was so good to see the kiddos!
A surprise limo awaited to take us HOME! Connor's cub scout Pack had paid for it-the kids were so excited! I could tell Rodney was is pain and tired but he was also surprised when we got back to Gardner and headed to the High School-the total opposite direction than our house-he finally got it when he saw all the people with signs! Welcome Home Surprise courtesy of friends (Tina Vega & Keith Moll) and all our family! Thanks to you all!!!!

Finally Home...
Keep Imagining!

Another day in Georgia-2006

Oct. 29
Sunday
Last night we got to set the clocks back an hour for the time change-so an extra hour of sleep never hurt anyone! Rodney has appt. over at the clinic to get his blood drawn to check his cumodian (blood thinner) levels. They are drawing blood often to try and figure by the levels of med. in his blood what the correct dosage is for him. It could take awhile to figure it out. I dropped him off at the front door and went and parked. Then I couldn't find him-I didn't know where the blood draw actually took place-so I lost my husband already! So I wandered around and asked a couple employees but no one was much help-but like I said before the hospital has a skeleton crew on the weekends. Once we found each other we went to breakfast at the "Huddle House"-first time to eat at one as well as our first time eating out together in many months. Our order took longer than the waitress felt it should so we got our meals free-I won't argue with that!
We went to the PX for a few things but Rodney was pretty wore out by then so we didn't last long. He did get a couple caps from one of the vendors-(Like he doesn't have hundred's at home-but one of them was a purple heart soldier hat-most deserving of that I think.)
We went back for naps, laundry and I made dinner-a nice evening of just relaxing!
We did spend time with our new friends at the Fisher House-which is very comforting.
There is one couple there whose son was hurt really badly from a motorcycle accident-after he returned home from deployment. They have been acting almost as our surrogate parents! Everyone is so kind and comfortable with each other.

I have had one concern over the last few days and hope it will work out-getting Rodney and I on the same flight home. He by no means needs to be flying by himself-especially changing planes for a connection. I made a call to DOD travel and transportation and asked for the officer who had helped me get to Georgia-they actually told me no one by that name works here (I couldn't believe it-wait yes I could). I was to tired to argue and will call back tomorrow to see if Staff Sgt. Riffe works there tomorrow-UGGGH! I am going to do everything in my power to get us on the same flights home! Not sure yet when that will be but I want to be ready when it does. Nothing should be this difficult but I am beginning to realize if a ball can be dropped it will so I have to keep praying and stay persistant for things to happen.
It gets really exhausting though...
More later
Tracy

Another Day at Eisenhower Army Hospital

Rodney and I together during his stay in the hospital Tuesday 10/24/2006
To my surprise this am-it was a COLD walk from the Fisher House over to the hospital-I didn't think Georgia would be COLD! It isn't really what I would call really freezing,can't be outside weather-but it is cold to the residents of Georgia-they are all wearing coats, gloves, scarves and it is about 40 degrees-I didn't even bring a winter coat!

Rodney is supposed to have a couple tests done today to look at the fragment in his heart (that is so weird to even write-very surreal). He is pretty cranky-can't have anything by mouth so he hasn't had his pain meds nor has he eaten and of course they are running behind. Hopefully they will get an IV going here soon with morphine for the pain, they have one in for IV fluids. The procedure should let us know what the fragment is as well as exactly where it is located. So then decisions can be made on if it stays in or comes out. Rodney and I are both pretty much emotional messes right now and the waiting doesn't make it easier. Finally in the afternoon he was taken down and lightly sedated for an echo, another type of echo where he basically had to swallow a small camera and another test he can't even remember. He was very groggy and tired when he got back to the room. One of his Dr.s met with me and basically said they had a difficult time making out the exact location due to the imaging bouncing off the metal so they will be taking him to another facility tomorrow by ambulance to get a 3D image with a different more advanced machine.They are fairly postivie it is a piece of shrapnel though and not a needle port etc.. We do know that if the fragment stays in he will always have to take antibiotics before dental or mouth procedures and never be able to have an MRI (due to the magnetic part).

We had a visitor from the VA stop by to speak with Rodney about benefits and such-but I don't know how much either of us retained especially with so much going on today. I also made a lot of phone calls today:
I finally made the call to see about getting a rental car-I am tired of walking late at night and not being able to go to the PX on my own. I am on a waiting list.
I made a call to the Kansas State benefits director today-Janet Wisdom-waiting for a call back. Hopefully she can shed some light on what we need to do in that area and what Rodney is entitled to. This is a whole new ballgame for us and no one seems to know the rules! I have been trying to get a message to Rodney's commander over in Iraq to give Rodney a call. He really needs to hear from him and get an idea of what happened. He has spoken with one of the other soldiers wounded (he has already left and returned home for convalescence leave). He know some from him as well as remembering bits and pieces. I think he is starting to build a "story" in his head. I have no idea what the emotional toll will be from this for him-they want to focus on the physical before the emotional but I can't see why they aren't able to do both. I have asked for Chaplin's to visit and they have but that has been the only "mental health" assistance we have received so far.

DR. Lundy, one of Rodney's docs, and in my opinion the best one-came in before his heart procedures and was concerned about the high white blood cell count. He looked at all of Rodney's wounds including even the small pieces of shrapnel on his legs, trunk and chest. He found an area on his left leg that looked as he put it "angry" and could be the source of the infection.He did a small surgery right there in the room-so I had a front row seat! He opened up the area and removed a small piece of shrapnel. A little souvenir I guess. He also took of the bandage on his hip wound and took out the gauze-this was the first time I had actually seen how deep it was-to the bone. I was shocked! Rodney is also starting to cough more again -so off to chest xray he goes! He was also started on blood thinners today because of concern of clotting due to the heart issue. He gets it in shot form in is stomach area-ouch!

It has been a really long day-I have watched Rodney sleep and been doing so much thinking. I am so thankful that he is here no matter what shape he is in. He has been thru so much but I don't want to question why him or why us-I just want to go on from here-knowing that the road won't be easy-but learning form the experience and allowing it to help us grow as people and as a couple as well in our faith. At least that is what I hope for..
Going to go over to my room, do some laundry for both of us, call the kids and try to relax and get some sleep. It is so nice to have a place to go that feels like a 'home'.
More later..on the Georgia Experience!
Tracy

The Georgia Experience Continued...healing,dealing and a new discovery

(Picture of Wound Vac used on wound on Rodney's leg)

For all those patient readers..I am finally back on track with the story after Rodney was wounded (Please look back from the beginning for those new readers!)

Sunday, October 22, 2006- Nothing very eventful but to be honest the days really ran together while Rod was in the hospital. I do know the weekends were much slower paced. Trying to get Rodney more mobile. He has a medical device called a wound vac
helping the large soft tissue wound on his inner right thigh heal. It is an awesome innovation! I can't even begin to explain how it works other than it heals the wound from the inside out (which is what we need to happen) and it the sponge like material inside the wound has silver in it which has healing properties. It seems to be doing its job.The wound originally was about an 1/2 inch deep but as you could have laid a pop can lengthwise in it. It has shrunk some already. The other wound is deeper but smaller around and actually most likely was the more serious of the two probably nicking the femoral artery. He is so lucky to have had the guys around him he did when the mortar attack happened. They kept him from bleeding out and did all the right things. I can never say thank you enough! Rodney is in pretty good spirits with emotional moments to be expected. He has had a lot to deal with.

Monday, October 23, 2006
OK-when I said weekends were slower paced-I wasn't kidding. On my walk over this morning I could tell by the number of cars in the parking lot and the amount of people going in and out of the building-the hop ital was hopping!

I was met in the hallway after walking in the building by one of Rod's medvac case managers. The first thing she said to me was that Rodney needed surgery-heart surgery. I was a little freaked and confused about what had happened. When I got to the room I found out that there was a new issue but surgery wasn't for sure thing.
During a cat scan the doctor's discovered something foreign in the heart-they are speculating at this point and will be running more tests to find out what it is. Very scary stuff. An echo is planned and then most likely a surgery to remove it.
Rodney is adamant that they are not cracking his chest open! I am trying to stay calm and wait to see what the doctors say. I just can't figure out why this wasn't caught before-he has had numerous cat scans in the last week or so???
He is also dealing with more pain today and his white blood cell count is high and has been for a couple days. They say most likely a sign of some sort of infection.
They removed the staples from his abdominal surgery site today and placed surgical strips instead. Rodney and I have had our moments of butting heads today-I think we both are under some STRESS!!! It is hard-I have waited so long to see him and hug him and with his injuries it is hard to even hug him. I want him to know he can talk to me about anything-he seems so closed off. I did get a call from his dr. in my room later. He has been researching what to do about the piece of metal in Rod's heart and from that research and talking to other doc's he feels that we will leave it in unless it is protruding from the muscle into one of the chambers. They have a procedure scheduled on Tuesday to hopefully get a better image. They are thinking it is a small (2cm) piece of jagged, shrapnel. The big question is one we will most likely never know the answer to is how did it get there without killing him? According to the dr's it is a very rare case and something that they can't really explain.
Alot of probably's, and most likely, maybe, we hope etc..not what we want to hear but after all he is alive and shouldn't be but through God's intervention and grace he is...so who can argue with that.

I also started making phone calls today about when Rodney would receive his Purple Heart. They many times give it to the soldiers at bedside but we would like to wait until we get home and all the family can be there. So just trying to figure all that out too as well as what happens when he is released (which after today's news it won't be as soon as we thought)

Enough for today...
Tracy, Superman's wife

To celebrate or not celebrate?

ok that is the question for today? so here we go-(1st time blogger!) Today is the day before the anniversary of my husband being wounded in combat in Iraq-so October 12th is the actual day-9:30am kansas time. Trying to decide how I am supposed to feel as well as gauge how my husband is doing and the kiddos. One of the things I am struggling with the most is that the last year has been so very difficult and full of a great many challenges (we are talking dealing with the military) :) My husband has come a long way physically. Our family has suffered financially. Everyone of us in the family have our own feelings and issues relating to what happened. It has been compared to a grieving process-the loss being.. my husband being almost killed in a war zone and he won't ever be the same nor will we-there will always be the before and after-ok what is the struggle??? Do we celebrate tommorow in some way?? I am not saying we will have cake and balloons-but I do want to try to turn it around to the positive- (Live forward...)I can see doing the party deal maybe in a couple years-because we are so thankful he is here with us when medically speaking he should not be-Yes we are thankful now but the hurt is still so raw even after a year-we are still in the nightmare called medhold and our life is in a holding pattern. The other thing is so many people are just saying-oh it's been a year-time for you to move on- Rodney looks fine? etc...who decides when we move on? Isn't it a process? I am all alone on this one-I know no other wounded warrior spouses-so if you are out there-I would love to hear from ya- I will share more about the actual details of my husbands injuries and the rest of the story at a later date...

* Pictures taken at Fort Gordon, GA, Eisenhower Army Hospital-Oct. 20-Nov.1, 2006

So was the question answered...no but we will see what tommorow brings-that is all we can do!

Proud Army wife-

T-