Feelings

Feeling many emotions all at the same time today-and it isn't the joyful, fun kind.
disheartened, sad, defeated, exhausted, betrayed, anxious, frustrated, angry, helpless, shocked, like I had the wind knocked out of me for the millionth time.
I am so tired of people in our lives not trying to understand, I am tired of waiting for our life to continue instead of be on pause, I am tired of putting my hope in a person who says they will help and they turn on us to save their own ass, I am tired of no one being held accountable for their actions, I am tired of people telling me to be patient that the system works slow-DUH!I am tired of being the cheerleader, I am tired of having no one to call nor knowing what to do or say if I am dealing with a PTSD moment (Rodney's or mine). I am tired of feeling like somehow our situation is our fault. I am tired of being treated like an irrational wife. I am just tired of being stressed.
I know we are blessed and we are lucky that Rodney is alive.
I just want our life back to before we were a family of a wounded warrior-I want to not think about working the system every morning and night. I want it to be over. I want to feel happy, I want to feel proud to be an army wife, I want to not feel like throwing in the towel.

TRYING to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

We Need a MIRACLE!

Keeping it short-but please pray for a miracle for our situation with the army medical status of Rodney and his wounds. We are at the end of August 2008-in October 2008 it will be TWO WHOLE YEARS with no real answers about the path we should be on. Our emotions as a family are taxed to the limit. We want answers and no more hoops to jump through. We want this to all be settled and over, whatever that looks like. We obviously want the best case scenario to happen and for Rodney to get the disability he deserves, the respect he deserves and for us to be able to heal and move on. Please pray for a miracle-lawmakers, army personnel and powers that be. We want God in charge-only he can fix this! Thanks!
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

More of the Military Mess Up Game

We received 2 different letters from the VA today-one stated they were still working on figuring Rodney's compensation-OK we can deal with that I guess, I thought probably need to have Rodney call just to find out if they needed anything further. so I open the 2nd letter...It states they (VA) contacted the state of Kansas medical detachment, Adj. General department for copies of Rodney's medical records on 5/15/2008 and have yet to receive them. Today is July 17,2008-another 2 months wasted rolled in red tape. The VA is in Wichita and the Adj. Generals dept. in Topeka.Granted they are a couple hours apart but I would be willing to drive and get the blasted info. where it needed to be...I am obviously in that frustration place. I just picture in my mind his medical records being moved from one desk to the other on a daily basis and no one doing their job-which in itself is a feat since the whole file large enough to notice! I am fed up with dropped balls and people not doing their job (not blaming the VA at this point!)-we are 4 months out from him being released from medhold and still not VA rating which was supposed to be expedited. I guess I will have to start making some phone calls to stir the pot-that usually pisses off someone in the ARMY enough to get something happening! Really To Bad that has to happen!
Not a good day:(
P.S.
Rodney told me last night he had a piece of shrapnel fester up and pop out on his scalp-weird!He has that happen every once in a while but never his head.
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Email to notify others and the start of the battle

This is the first email I sent out after finding out about Rodney (It was sent at approx. 7:30am on the 13th-I recieved many responses back along with so many prayers that and family and friends is all that kept me going-since I was sleeping in spurts and only eating when others made me. I was a mess but so determined to find out information and get to my husband. I was so worried about no one being with him and having no one to speak for him as an advocate.

I was contacted at about 8am by the DA in Washington DC by phone. I was briefed on his wounds and told he was be sent to Germany for treatment. I was also given information about how the procedure of me getting to my wounded soldier would occur. The Staff Sgt. made it sound a lot less complicated than it turned out to be.

I also found out from another army source that 3 other members of Rodney's unit were also wounded in the attack-2 were minor and one other was also serious. I kept asking to speak with Rodney's commander in Iraq-since protocol was not followed and he contacted my in-laws instead of me intially (this was very upsetting and is a whole other major part of the story I will share soon-it comes with many emotions).
I wanted as much information about what happened as possible-not sure if this is a normal reaction in a crisis but it is something that I ended up battling for and going through many channels to find out. We actually just recently after 11 months found out the actual "full" account of that day. Stayed tuned because things only get more interesting and unbelievable-I think most people will be shocked as to how unorganized and how so many parts of the system failed-so on top of being upset and so worried I am now starting out on a battle that ends of changing policy in the state of Kansas but stepped on a few toes along the way.

The determined army wife
T-