Playing Catch up

I wanted to get on and say we made it back from Oklahoma intact! Norman was a busy place this weekend-lots of school spirit with OU just winning the big 12 and now Sam Bradford winning the Heisman!

It was such nice weather on Sat.-66 degrees!!! We looked at about 4 apartments-I think she has decided on one. I had to put my mom/real estate agent (I was one for 6 years) hats. Sometimes she didn't like to hear what I had to say-she is just so excited to move I don't think she is thinking too clearly. Then I remember being 19! I knew it all too. All I can do is pray all will work out for her, help where she will let me and (the hard part) let her make mistakes. I find myself even setting y boundaries more now with her. Not sure what the move date is or where she plans on going to cosmetology school??

Saturday night Taylor went to a "tacky" Christmas sweater party-she wore one of my sweaters-It has snowmen on it! I didn't think it was that bad! :) She had a good time and I spent time trying to relax-got to watch a flat screen and I was in control of the remote!

Busy week ahead...
I have a dr. appt. to have blood drawn tomorrow am to re-check my liver enzymes that were high as well as have my cholesterol checked since I had to go off the medication. I am still having tummy issues (problem is I was supposed to go have a ultra sound of my gallbladder and well..never did). I am horrible about taking care of me! I am going to try and be much more diligent about it. Have to take the car in for service (way past due!) and then I have my therapy appt. (YEAH!) I hope to get some final Christmas shopping done too! I did some while in OK-but most I did on-line. Last minute things or hard to find things-not into shopping this year either.

Taylor is done with her college classes, Carley has her high school finals this week and Connor's last day is the 18th. (My birthday is also the 18th-but that is going to be just another day I think) We are planning on going out to dinner-Red Lobster-seafood sounded good.
On the evening of the 17th (I am so excited!)-I am taking the kids to see the "Christmas Carol" at the Missouri Rep. Theater. First time for them-they all love theater so should be fun. I saw the production there many years ago. I hope it will make me "catch" the spirit of the season.
I am looking forward to Christmas eve service as well!

I need to get on and catch up on all your blogs. I don't think I will be sending Christmas Cards out but I might-so please send me your home
address by email just in case.
One last thing before I go to bed since tomorrow is a really full day and the weather is supposed to be crappy!

I heard through my sister Lisa that my half-sister, Sheri, who is 34 had a stroke Sat. and is in ICU. She lives in Arkansas with my step-mom. She has 4 kids-5-16 years old. two live with her and the older two live down the street from me. I am asking for prayers that she have a full recovery. I don't know many of the details as her and I are estranged. That sounds so weird for me to even say that. I can say there has been a lot of water under the bridge since my dad died 5 years ago. Sheri has many medical issues as well as emotional ones. I don't wish her any ill will I just can't have her in my life-it is too painful and she sucks the life out of me. Enough said-just say a prayer if you feel the desire too.

Thanks everyone.. I will update soon and post pics of the tree!
I need to start wrapping soon!!! UGH! Then there is the baking-me and the kids do usually enjoy the baking! I hope we get some time to do it this year-Christmas is coming quick!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Just the Facts Ma'am

If you remember these faces then you get my title??? They are from the show "Dragnet" from a long -long time ago when yes all we had was black and white TV-I just always liked that line when some lady was going on and on and one of the guys (don't know their names??) would say
"Just the facts Ma'am"-at least that is how I remember it. So on with the post...

Since actually tapping into what is going on here at the Price Household is a little overwhelming for me right now-I thought I would do something I was tagged to do a while back from Amber over at sgtsudswife's. (sorry it took me over a month to do it-yes I do believe I have joined the club of procrastinators-not like me usually) so onto the 7 weird, random facts about me. This may be real boring so you are pre-warned..

1.) I was born in Kansas, have lived in Kansas, went to college in Kansas-so been here my whole life! Not something I could see my self doing when I was getting out of High School and ready to take on the World....I am still wishing and hoping that someday I can move to Florida, Georgia or South Carolina. Warmer there you know!!!

2.) I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 22 years old and fresh out of college.
It was a very difficult and confusing time for me. Spending 4 1/2 years in college and then graduating my expectations were a little high and the real world hit me hard.

3.) I love the color PURPLE! It has been my favorite color since I was 8 or 9-started out that way because it was also Donny Osmond's favorite color and I LOVED him!

4.) My kids names Taylor-Carley-Connor James: The names were not chose for this reason but it is kinda funny how they all tie together. James Taylor and he was married to Carly Simon.
People actually have asked me if I did that all on purpose-no but I do love James Taylor's music!
So if you like... actually Taylor was a name I heard for the first time as the name of a pop singer named Taylor Dayne in the 1980's. Carley -yes I heard it first from Carly Simon. Like it better with the e and thought it was a cool way to honor my mom whose name is Carolyn. Connor was a name of a boy Taylor's age whom I coached in T-ball-I always said I loved the name. Rodney liked it because there was a character on the TV show "Highlander". I also knew it had been the name of Eric Clapton's 4 year old son that died in a tragic accident. So his name had many reasons..the James part is actually after his grandpa Jim, but Connor will always be my sweet baby James!

5.) My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade. Both of them re-married within a year.
My sister Lisa (she is 2 years younger than me) and I gained 3 step-siblings and later a half-sister. My step-dad had 2 children, both older than me: Shane and Shannon. My step-monster had one child who was two when my dad and her met...her name also Shannon. So yes I have 2 step-sisters named SHANNON! My little sister Sheri was born when I was 10-to my dad and his wife.

6.) I am a Pepsi addict-plain and simple-I love me Pepsi! I can tell the difference between coke and Pepsi any day. Can't drink the diet stuff-even though I need to.

7.) I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life-most of it gained in the last 3 years.
I used to have the opposite problem in my early 20's-I couldn't gain weight for nothing.
I ate and did everything to put on weight. I think I was way to tiny-especially now that I look back at pictures from 1987 from my first wedding. 103 lbs.!!!! I know it is ridiculous! I am 5 ft. 6 inches tall-I had people coming up to me all the time telling me I was so skinny-it sucked-no one tells me I am fat or overweight. weird how that works!

So random facts about me. At least I blogged--YEAH ME!

( I would really like to lose about 50 lbs.!!!! but that is for another post)

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Momma Can't Seem To Make It Better..

MOM and her Girls...Carley, Taylor and me-April 2007-Florida Trip


Taylor and Me-In Happier Days-she was almost three. I was pregnant with Carley (barely) in this picture. Easter 1992.

I am at my wits end with knowing what to say or do for my broken hearted, depressed and just immobile daughter. I am so mad at myself for not feeling equipped to handle a 19 year old sobbing every couple hours. This make me feel helpless and so upset since I deal with depression myself and know what she is feeling. she is so overwhelmed she quit her job today-I am not sure if she will continue in college and finish the semester! I can't say or do the right thing. I lose my patience-I am a horrible mom! I try tough love-she digs her heels in. I try to get her to do small things like eat, take a shower or go on an errand-it is like pulling teeth.
I know why, I understand-but I so don't want this for her-this monster called depression-I have feared her entire life I would pass it on to her. Did I? What can I do for her-I should know what to do!!!

Her friends have deserted her-I have no idea why??? I am so mad at her Ex for giving her no real reason for changing his mind about the relationship-and he is just going on with his fun filled life with their friends. She doesn't understand what she did?? She told me Sunday she felt she needed to talk with someone-we set that up and she did see a therapist on Monday. She will continue to see her and most likely will be dealing with more than just her and Bryan's breakup( she will be faced with so much she never dealt with...her non-relationship with her dad for the last 6 years after he tried to force her to go with him for visitation and in the process caused her bodily harm (bruises, gashes and so much emotional pain), Rodney be deployed to Iraq and being wounded, my depression and anxiety issues, and all the crap she has let build up for so many years. She has never been one to talk about her feelings-that isn't such a good thing-she has stuffed a lot. I knew this and could see it-but couldn't make her deal. This was her breaking point-bless her heart, she is in so so much pain.

This isn't going to be as simple as I thought a couple weeks ago. I am praying so hard for me to know what to do and for her to know God hasn't abandoned her. I play her music to remind her God is there, I show her pictures of her happy before Bryan, I hug her and comfort her, I make her favorite food..what else can I do. I can't let her quit-I can't let her give up. I want my ambitious, laid back, smiling, dancing little girl back. Please send prayers!!!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

She's BACK......and you didn't even know she left!

Say Bye-Bye to BRYAN! The above pic was taken in May 2007 for Taylor's Sr. prom of Tay and Bryan. Doesn't she look beautiful!! (don't look at him-he doesn't matter anymore!!!)

Well, Well, Well... I had not even had the chance to say "Taylor moved back in with Bryan last Friday", mainly because I wasn't thrilled with her decision. I was sad but I knew she would do what she thought was best for her, even though I told her to please think with her head and not her emotions. she had to do it on her own-well I just got woke up from my nap this afternoon and a very good dream I might add (I was dreaming about people and places from my college days-I will share another time-but lets just say I had my share of good times!)-

anyway back to Taylor...she woke me up and said I'm back for good.
I was a little dis-oriented. She wasn't weeping and crying just matter of fact.
He (Bryan, now the EX) wanted her to move back last week but then has been really distant from her since she went back. No one seems to know what is happening with Mr. Bryan (his sister, friends, parents). I haven't seen or spoken to him but I have my theory.I am not angry with him just disappointed big time in the person who has been a part of not only Tay's life but ours as well.

I asked her what her plans now for school next semester were and she said she didn't know-so I said you have a week to come up with a plan and tell me. I am happy she is home but sad she has to go through all she does but I do know she will survive. I have had break ups and a divorce and I survived. I told her I want her to live a fun filled life-she is 19-she deserves friends and fun. She will get there.
She needs to find herself again-go back to her passions-find new hobbies or activities that make her happy.

The bad side of this: Last night Connor laid his claim to Taylor's room downstairs.
This boy worked harder than I have ever seen him work. He moved furniture, cleaned, packed up Taylor's stuff. He took down her mini fridge from college and set it up.
He set up his video game systems. He was so proud-and I was proud of him.
Then sissy comes home today-he was so mad and disappointed at first. Taylor swayed him to her side now-she is taking him shopping for jeans. He is happy again!

so that is the end of today's episode of "OUR CRAZY WORLD SPINS" stayed tuned for
tomorrow's episode when I share the really good news-Rodney heard from the VA!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

My First Born: Baby Girl is born!

I wrote some about what has been going on with my baby girl, Taylor, who is 19 and in her 2nd year of college. I felt I needed to share more about her, so I thought I would begin with my pregnancy and her birth.


Taylor was born when I was 25 years old. Her dad (Duane) and I had been married close to a year and a half. We were college sweethearts and met when I was a freshman and he was a year older. We dated more on than off for 5 years before we married. He was a teacher (still is) and had taken in job in our college town. When we married in 1987 I moved back to Emporia, where we made our first home. I was working as a para-educator when I found out I was pregnant with Taylor. I was ready to be a mom big time. I had a difficult time with morning sickness (or as I called it all day sickness!) with my first pregnancy. I was exhausted all the time. I can recall the first 3-4 months going to work and coming home and going to bed-waking only to eat dinner. I also had some trouble with early contractions in the last trimester. I was RH-I had neg. blood and Duane had positive. I had to take a couple shots-no big deal. Other than those couple things-oh and being totally paranoid about every weird feeling or twitch-all went smoothly with the pregnancy. We did not know from the sonograms if we were expecting a boy or girl. Taylor just never would give up the info.:) She kept those legs crossed just like a lady should!
I shopped all the time for this baby-still not knowing what the sex was. I decorated her room with a white crib, rocking chair and changing table. I had a friend that made all my bedding-the colors were peach and mint green and the theme was bunnies. Probably a good deal she was a little girl! I washed all her little outfits in DREFT. I gained a lot of weight-60 lbs.! I started out underweight so the dr. never said a word to me. Taylor was due on Mother's Day of 1989. Taylor didn't come on Mother's Day the 13th of May-but my mom, step-dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew all came down for the weekend-boy was I in a rotten mood when I got up that Sunday and had not went into labor. All everyone did all day was watch me for signs-I must have walked 2 miles that day.

Miss Taylor had other ideas-she finally arrived on May 19th at 3:00 am. (which happens to be my sister's birthday!). I was induced after going to my dr. appt. since when they did a stress test there was some indication the baby was under stress. I was in labor for 13 hours with no epidural, and I have made sure to tell my baby girl that countless times :)

Taylor Victoria arrived to our surprise with a full head of black hair, and goodness gracious was she screaming. She weighed 8 pounds 5 oz-when they laid her on my tummy I said "wow she is really heavy." She was perfect in every way and I remember holding her in my room when it was just her and me. I promised her I would do everything I could to make her world safe and happy, and that I would love her forever and always.

Taylor and I had the pleasure of having my mom (Grandma Carolyn) stay with us for a week. We found out right before Taylor was released she was jaundice. I freaked because the nurse made it sound like they would keep Taylor and send me home.
I was having difficulty with Taylor nursing-she liked the bottles they gave her at night (I learned and the other 2 never received a bottle in the hospital). So I was worried for a short time but we were released and sent home to start our lives-it has been a wonderful voyage ever since with my baby girl.

One of the most unique things about Taylor: Taylor's hair color changed within a couple months to deep auburn red (I hadn't even noticed-someone at a dr. appt. said "oh what a cute red-head". I was like where? Then I noticed he was talking to me-makes me wonder if I was overwhelmed or something-duh?)She did draw attention where ever we went and never lost any of her hair.She was wearing barrettes right fairly quickly-otherwise people thought she was a boy?. She had her first haircut at 6 months because the front of her hair was so long it was in her eyes without a barrette. Just so you know my other 2 were pretty close to bald-Taylor got the beautiful hair gene-and not from me.

Now many years later- She came over-3rd night in a row and I don't mind at all-actually I love it! (yes, she is feeling much better!)- she had her hair colored and cut today-her hair is that beautiful deep red again! I love it! Her hair has lightened to a strawberry blond over the years. She looks beautiful any way but I still like it when it is close to her original hair color!) That's my Baby Girl and I am her biggest fan! Ask her!
I will be saying my prayers tonight for her to have a safe drive to Oklahoma to visit a friend this weekend. This is her maiden voyage as a traveler by herself-it is a 4 hour drive. She is spreading those wings! Fly baby Fly!

I will share more about my Taylor next time-it is nice remembering since I am in a sort of mourning for her leaving the nest and if she reads this she may learn something I haven't told her.

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy