An Important Day in Our History..

December 22nd was yesterday-I know you all knew that but did you know the importance of that day in our journey? Last year-Dec. 22, 2006 at around 9 PM Rodney was on the ground at KCI airport finally home for the holidays and home for good after a long few months. We were all so thrilled and had the house decorated inside and out, all the gifts bought and wrapped and ready to celebrate not just Christmas but him finally being home. Little did we know that the year ahead would bring many more challenges and frustrations with the system but looking back it has taught me so much about myself, my family and what true appreciation is. We have been blessed so much more than we have lost...Yesterday was another one of those days of blessings and kindness more than we could have imagined!
We had special visitors from the American Legion Riders. They came bearing gifts..of the material kind but also those of genuine caring and kindness that warmed my heart and re-newed my faith in others. It made me realize that even though so much negative lives in the world that we are exposed to day in and day out-people are good as is our Father God-who obviously sent these angels to us.
The kids received amazing gifts and they were so excited! did I say Excited!!!!
We had an early Christmas (especially since Carley is leaving on Christmas Eve to go to her Dad's we are trying to squeeze it all in!). I was just as excited to see them open their gifts especially picked out for them-it brought tears to my eyes but good tears:) Connor received the LEGO's set that he had only dreamed of, Dallas Cowboys gear-his favorite team and a gift card to Target I think he already has spent in his head; Carley received more than one pair of PJ pants which she loves, gifts cards from Old Navy,Kohl's and Border's (she devours books), the Harry Potter DVD and Victoria Secrets Perfume-she was beyond thrilled; Taylor received pj pants also and being a college student I am almost sure she will wear them to class :),VS perfume, gifts cards to Old Navy and a $100 gas card (we all know how much gas costs so that was beyond amazing!) We received an entire basket of food including a turkey! Rodney and I were given gift cards so we can have some date nights-we could use the time alone :)
We have so much love for the group and the members that did the shopping and came out in nasty winter weather to deliver and visit! Our dog Beau even made Friends with each of them-I think he thought they came to see him-LOL.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! We are blessed and the 22nd of December will continue to be a special day in our history for more than one reason!

God Bless & Merry Christmas to Everyone!
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Thank You To ALL the Veterans!

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all the Veteran's out there-for their service to our country at any and all points in the history of the United States.
The History Channel is running amazing stories today all day to commemorate Veteran's Day which is officially today (but being observed tomorrow the 12th).
Veteran's Day is officially to be celebrated November 11th (11 month, 11th day on the 11th hour).

Happy Veteran's Day!!!
To my husband-Operation Iraqi Freedom (Army and Army National Guard)
To all the Soldiers of the 714th SECFOR Kansas Army National Guard
To my Dad-Navy (peacetime)
To my Grandfather Curtis-WWII-Navy (south pacific)
To my Grandpa Rousselo-WWII-Air Force-statesideThank You for sacrificing and allowing us to live in the land of the FREE!

Please Fly your American flags today and tomorrow and if you are a veteran you and your family can got to a "Golden Corral" restaurant tomorrow (Nov. 12th) for a free meal-check it out on the web.

God Bless all the servicemembers and their families!
Tracy

Rodney and Army buddies from the 714th SECFOR

The Georgia-Fort Gordon Experience-day one

Sat. October 21, 2006 As I said in my last post I finally made it to Georgia and I am finally where I need to be. It feels like such a relief to finally be able to totally concentrate on Rodney and his care.

I spent the night in the recliner-so not the best sleep-with nurses in and out all night (doing their job!) They were all kind and apologized every time they had to turn on the light. I told them that I wanted them to do whatever it took to take the best care of Rod. The medical staff was very informative and answered my questions with respect and understanding. I just liked being able to open my eyes and look over and see Rod. Sometime in the am I left to go over to the Fisher House to catch a short nap, shower and unpack. It was a nice day and about a 10 minute walk.

I came back over to the hospital around lunchtime and went to the cafeteria and ate. That is one thing that would be really nice-is if they could figure out a way to serve meals in the patients room for the caregiver also.(the cafeteria had really strange and short hours) My meal were all paid for though, so that was a blessing.
Rodney was eating really well and said the food was good. He had lost a great deal of weight in a short period of time, so I loved to see him eating and getting his strength back. He was in pain still so he was still recieivng morphine. Dr. said he wouldn't heal as fast dealing with pain.

I did get the ok from the nurses to take Rodney outside in a wheelchair-it was the first time he had been outside in fresh air for over a week. We weren't out there to long-he got tired easily, but he seemed to enjoy it (except for the wheelies!whoo!-just kidding:)- We spent sometime talking-about what he could remember about his experience, what I had been doing to get to him and how the kids were doing. I had brought cards from many well wishers and we were receiving phone calls from family throughout the day.
We also had some very nice people from the 352nd out of Macon, Georgia call or visit us. We were a little confused at first-but soon figured out that the 353nd was the Battalion command Rodney's unit was under in Iraq. It was so awesome to have people show such kindness and sincere concern-good old fashioned southern care and hospitality. We even heard from the battalion commanders wife Julie Eveker-she called to check on us a few times as well as stopped by. The Family Assistance Group along with Mr. Joe Dingle made sure we were well taken care of and had all we needed in our home away from home for 12 days. I made a very special friend whose husband was the 1st SGT,of the battalion over in Iraq.She came t Rodney's room as a total stranger but we soon clicked and I felt so much better having someone to talk to. She hauled me around for the first few days until I got a rental car. She took me to the PX to shop-very cool and great therapy. I bought Rodney some clothing-shorts, jacket,t-shirt, magazines, and a gameboy as well as some stuff for myself!!She even came and brought me food one night because I missed dinner in the cafeteria. Pamela you were a godsend and will always hold a special place in my memories of Georgia.

We had doctors, chaplin's, case workers, social workers and volunteers from many organizations visiting us throughout the day (and entire time we were there).
I must say I felt very cared for as very thankful Rodney had such a good team taking care of him. He did start getting up to go the short distance to the restroom and took an actual shower. Moving in the right direction. He was complaining of his heel hurting and wanted me to rub it. I took a look at it-thinking it was probably no big deal. I realized from my experience from previous jobs in a nursing home situation-he was having skin breakdown on his heal-(most likely from the 10 hour flight from Germany). I told the doctor and he was concerned and put a special boot on him-he said skin can start to break down in only 2 hours in the same position-and can lead to some pretty nasty situations if left untreated. So I served as the advocate like I knew he needed!!!

I stayed pretty late at the hospital but wanted to sleep in my bed at Fisher House-but I soon found out that transportation on Fort Gordon was not a easy task. I called for a cab and waited for a hour-no show even after a couple calls. so I ended up going back up to the floor where the kind nurses called security for me and had them take me to the Fisher House. (the walk was very dark across parking lots-Rodney was concerned for my safety)

We had a full day so it felt good to actually sleep in a comfy bed and know I was able to go back to the hospital at a moments notice. The Fisher House is an amazing place by the way!!! I am thinking Georgia is also the best place on earth right now.

More later...
Finally in Georgia-a beautiful place
Tracy

On with last year..."he speaks and remembers>>>"

I left off on Sunday 10/15/2006 on the last blog about when my husband was wounded..

Today is Monday, October 16, 2006. It is approx. 10:00 am central time. I spoke with a Mrs. Smith at Family care center in DC this morning and she transferred me to a case manager Sgt. Major Hoot, who was able to speak with me about the logistics of what needs to happen so I can get to wherever Rodney ends up. It seems to get harder and harder every day. I know they have to have a process and I am not not the only one dealing with a wounded family member but so many days have gone by and I feel I know so little. This is what I was told:
1.)Rod still in serious condition
2.)to be able to travel to soldiers beside the dr. has to decide it is best for patient (I have heard this before-sounds crazy huh?)
3.) He will either be going to Eisenhower Medical Center in Augusta, GA or Brooks Army Hospital in Texas.

It is around 12:30 pm. I just called Germany and spoke with the nurse Col. Roder.
She told me the catscan results were normal but she also stated he was still confused and sleepy. She gave me a possible reason for this. TBI (tramatic brain injury). This was scary to hear and the first time there had been discussion of it. She explained that the blast c from the mortar attack causes a concussion of air and would have caused his brain to shake inside his skull. She also stated common and will most likely resolve itself. I asked about sedation-what meds he was still recieving and he was only getting tylenol 3 at this time. She told me he had 2 chest tubes for drainage and that the fragments in the lung were still there. He is still on antibiotics to ward off infection and still dealing with respitory issues. She also told me his route to Germany went this way: 47th CASH at Mosul (FOB hospital) to Balad, Iraq (larger medical facility) to Germany. He has come a long way already!!!

I did speak with Rodney-yeah! He called me....that is a definate improvement!
He called and when I said "HI" he said "Hi good lookin what are you doing"-I beamed.

He told me he had a call from the KS. Adj. General. He was so excited because he understood the General to say that I would be in Georgia when he got there-he would get me there. (Rodney had no idea of the process and what I had been encountering-and I didn't burden him with it). I asked him how he was doing and what he was doing . He said he had just finished eating and "I have been sitting here waiting for you to call"-I thought it was cute-especially since he called me! (this is the 1st time he remembers speaking to me since being wounded). I asked him what he had to eat he said 'Hairy, salty beef with rice" (YUM...but it was solid food-yeah)
I asked if he was watching tv but he said"no but it is on" then he started to get agitated and short with me (the confusion and pain) I did tell him in this conversation about who else was wounded-he had a few questions but for the most part didn't talk much about what happened. We will have plenty of time later. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain, so I told him to ring the nurse and ask for assistance. We said our goodbyes-he is scheduled to leave Germany tommorow and I still haven't heard from the liason who is supposed to know the details of what happens next. (I spoke with a nurse in afternoon-and she got me connected with the liason and he told me to call back in 11 hours-I have to remember we are dealing with a major time difference) I will be so glad for him to get back to US!

I did make a phone call personally to the Adj. General. I wanted to know for sure Rodney had actually spoken with him (confusion I wasn't sure??) and what he had told him. The adj. General was very kind and told me he had told Rodney "he would try and get me to Georgia to be with him" I then told him that he had one of his wounded soldiers in Germany waiting to come home to the states and he believed I would be in Georgia when he got there. He was very gracious and told me he would do what he could (difficult because when guard are deployed they become "property" of federal side so the state side has limited say on anything". He did say he would work on it and get back to me on Tuesday am.

I will be waiting...

(things start to get really crazy in the next day or so.., briefing conference call with liason in Germany at 1;15am my time, then later no one can locate rodney etc..)
More later..when the novel continues
Tracy

The System is Broken...

I wanted to add a post describing what my biggest issues and frustrations were up to this point in my story. I had little experience dealing with the military so I wasn't a veteran military wife who knew how the "military" worked. I didn't understand why things took so long-so I was inpatient. I didn't understand decisions weren't just made and then action was taken and followed out. I didn't know that to get from point A to point B that sometimes things were handled by going from A to E to S back B, in other words the system wasn't working and I wasn't pleased at all. I feel the men and women in service are giving a huge sacrifice and that really they have one of the the most unselfish jobs there is-so why didn't people care or have the answers when one of their own was wounded-I will admit I am not the best at handling chain of command or protocol-but I will say I am diplomatic,I tend to believe most people are truthful and give people and situations an opportunity to work out- after that I become (put nicely)tenaciously obsessed and pissed off!!! I know most people would be so surprised to know how complicated and messed up getting to my husbands bedside was as well as finding out information about what happens now... If you don't ask and look for it yourself you don't know about it. That was and is so difficult for me to swallow...

So recap on why the experience was a nightmare:

1.) I wasn't contacted when my husband was seriously wounded in a war zone. I was listed as next of kin and contact person. My in laws were contacted instead at about 1am by the company commander because he felt this was in my best interest based on meeting me 2 times.He stated my husband was unconsious so he took it upon himself to make the decision on who to call (which according to my husband and others he wasn't the entire time they were working on him) What is supposed to happen is this; The company commander is to contact the state (in the case of National Guard) and the state liaison/officer assigned from rear detachment, then contacts the spouse/next of kin listed,but not between the hours of 11pm and 7am (I think that is right on the times?). The liaisons job is to then stay in contact with the family and help them thru the process of knowing what happened and what was going to happen next. (Just so you know that the commander did inform me after I wrote a detailed email and sent it to anybody and everybody that he was reprimanded for making a decision that wasn't his to make).

2.)The officer from the state of Kansas that first contacted me ( I guess he was my liason???)-pretty much left me on my own after a few days and then wouldn't return my phone calls on a timely basis then when he did I actually knew more than he did.
He couldn't handle it if I got emotional at all.

3.)No one could tell me when or if I would be able to be at my husbands bedside when he got back stateside nor for sure what medical facility he would be going to. There are many hoops to jump thru or in military talk-certain things have to happen before we can make arrangements for you to fly to him (like the dr. saying he can have visitors???)-I will say when all was said and done, they did make my flight arrangements and pay for my flight to and from)

4.)I call people and they don't call me back or they pass the buck or they pass along a lot of mis-information. (mis-information is a huge issue-I got to the point where I would start every conversation with I need your help but if you do not know the answer just say "I don't know but I can help you find out"-don't give me information that may or may not be the case. I really hated that no one in whatever dept. of the govt. I spoke to seemed to be held accountable for the information they passed out.

5.) I hated that my wounded soldier was being treated in a foreign country and he was unable to speak for himself or even understand most of the time what was even happening and he had no one to advocate for him-this made me physically sick to think about.

I think for now that was my major concerns-I will say I was very proactive in calling the hospital in Germany and making sure they knew his medical history, that he had a family who loved him and trying to get myself physically to him. I more than likely was at times over-sensitive and very emotional but the situation warranted these as well as so many other emotions. I had to do what I had to do/I had to be strong and persistant-The Army was so new at dealing with so many wounded soldiers-especially national guard. The system wasn't set up for it-not that I got much comfort from that fact..it was a fact. I will say in the year since we were initially in this situation many parts of the system have been changed for the better. I have been in contact with whomever will listen in DC as well as our own state capital telling our story-I know it has made some difference and we are part of the change....that makes me feel good that some other family won't have to go thru all we did. I just hope I can be looked at as a strong advocate instead of a troublemaker. :)

More later to my faithful blog followers...
(not a novel yet)
Tracy

More of the story-stil Oct. 14, 2006

(I will try and finish up this really long day and pretty frustrating day.

The nurse from Germany did say one thing that didn't set right with me-when I mentioned Rodney being Army National Guard-His reaction was "OHHH he isn't real army"-what does that mean? They are fighting in the same war, from the same country, they wear the same uniform and they work/fight side-by-side. Not sure what this means in the whole scheme of things but hopefully he still get the same medical treatment!

The Chaplin did come to the house and visited with me and other members of the family. It was a very informational visit and spiritually it helped a great deal.
I really liked him-Chaplin Larry Parrish was one of the first people from the military to show sincere compassion during this process.

Went to Connor's soccer game-he had a really good game and it was great to get out among people for awhile. I got lots of hugs :)
After the game I had a house full again-mostly family. I called Germany to see about having the phone held up to Rodney's ear and was told they couldn't and wouldn't do that-I was told earlier in the day differently-it sent me over the edge.
I got very upset and felt nothing was in my control-I just wanted someone to hear me to know I needed help and everyone was looking at me like I was acting irrational.. I probably was but who wouldn't in a similar situation-my husband was wounded and in a foreign country, I ended up leaving my house to drive around-I recieved a phone call on my cell from a high ranking officer in the KS National Guard (I can't remember his name but I am sure he remembers mine)-Not one of my prouder moments...
The issue was me being able to speak TO my husband even if he was sedated and on a respirator-this person told me there was no way Rodney could hear me-I asked him if he had a medical degree and told him that rank didn't matter to me especially when I felt he was not showing me respect by validating my feelings and hung up on him-I was really in a bad place!
My sister called and did the most amazing thing-she asked me what can I do? Just tell me what you need me to do and what you want to do? I needed that so much!!! Thank you Lisa! By the time I got home everyone but my mom, sister and 2 of my children were home. What did I tell her I wanted? A nap and for someone to man the phones-and only wake me if it was news about Rodney.
I finally did get to talk to my husband 8 hours later (approx. 10:15pm our time) and it was such a gift! He was just off the respirator and it was a pretty one sided conversation but even hearing his voice being raspy was amazing.-He kept falling asleep on the phone but in between kept telling me how much he loved me and the kids and how sorry he was he got hurt.
The one really strange thing he asked was "did you get my letter?" I told him no not yet-I had asked him for so long to write me a letter-he had told me earlier in the week before he was wounded he had written one-but I had no idea he actually had sent it from Iraq (My husband says alot of things just to apease me-LOL). It seemed strange-but even stranger when I realized a few days later he did not remember even talking to me or the kids the first couple times. The mind is a most mysterious place-why did he remember the letter but couldn't tell the nurse who the president was? (I recieved his letter on the following Tuesday-5 days after he was wounded-I will treasure it forever). No matter what the first time speaking to him was a gift and made me believe he would be ok-now I just had to get to him.
To be continued...
Sorry so long-again I hope it makes some sense :.)
T-

Email to notify others and the start of the battle

This is the first email I sent out after finding out about Rodney (It was sent at approx. 7:30am on the 13th-I recieved many responses back along with so many prayers that and family and friends is all that kept me going-since I was sleeping in spurts and only eating when others made me. I was a mess but so determined to find out information and get to my husband. I was so worried about no one being with him and having no one to speak for him as an advocate.

I was contacted at about 8am by the DA in Washington DC by phone. I was briefed on his wounds and told he was be sent to Germany for treatment. I was also given information about how the procedure of me getting to my wounded soldier would occur. The Staff Sgt. made it sound a lot less complicated than it turned out to be.

I also found out from another army source that 3 other members of Rodney's unit were also wounded in the attack-2 were minor and one other was also serious. I kept asking to speak with Rodney's commander in Iraq-since protocol was not followed and he contacted my in-laws instead of me intially (this was very upsetting and is a whole other major part of the story I will share soon-it comes with many emotions).
I wanted as much information about what happened as possible-not sure if this is a normal reaction in a crisis but it is something that I ended up battling for and going through many channels to find out. We actually just recently after 11 months found out the actual "full" account of that day. Stayed tuned because things only get more interesting and unbelievable-I think most people will be shocked as to how unorganized and how so many parts of the system failed-so on top of being upset and so worried I am now starting out on a battle that ends of changing policy in the state of Kansas but stepped on a few toes along the way.

The determined army wife
T-