Monday, September 8, 2008


Feeling many emotions all at the same time today-and it isn't the joyful, fun kind.
disheartened, sad, defeated, exhausted, betrayed, anxious, frustrated, angry, helpless, shocked, like I had the wind knocked out of me for the millionth time.
I am so tired of people in our lives not trying to understand, I am tired of waiting for our life to continue instead of be on pause, I am tired of putting my hope in a person who says they will help and they turn on us to save their own ass, I am tired of no one being held accountable for their actions, I am tired of people telling me to be patient that the system works slow-DUH!I am tired of being the cheerleader, I am tired of having no one to call nor knowing what to do or say if I am dealing with a PTSD moment (Rodney's or mine). I am tired of feeling like somehow our situation is our fault. I am tired of being treated like an irrational wife. I am just tired of being stressed.
I know we are blessed and we are lucky that Rodney is alive.
I just want our life back to before we were a family of a wounded warrior-I want to not think about working the system every morning and night. I want it to be over. I want to feel happy, I want to feel proud to be an army wife, I want to not feel like throwing in the towel.

TRYING to Keep Imagining!


Amy said...

I think what's happened totally sucks. I have always supported all of our armed services my entire life. I pray that you get the answers you need ASAP. It's not fair that Rodney was injured. It's really not fair that you are living this hell now. I would like to write some letters on your behalf. I would love to be able to help. Maybe if we write ALOT of letters it might help a bit? I'll try!!
love ya

Tracy said...

Thanks Amy-It means a lot to me that others take notice-I know we cannot be the only family navigating the system and runing into roadblocks and dropped balls.
It does suck!!!! I need to find a way to deal with the stress issue of it-as it is tearing me up.
My mother-in-law has actually been on a letter writing campaign-nothing has come of it yet.
We will see what happens next-if need be there is always the media.