Happy December to everyone-
I cannot believe we are in the last month of 2007 and Christmas is less than a month away now.
I apologize for not posting in the last week or so. Things have been in a survival mode here mostly due to the stress finally catching up with me from everything that has happened over the last year and 1/2. My counselor explained it the best for me to understand-and that is that my cup just became too full and I have been trying to empty some of it out so it won't continue to happen. Not a good place to be but it is where I am at so I will slow down and try to stay away from stress as much as possible. I am visiting my counselor more often for awhile as well as getting my meds adjusted. I am trying not to freak out about the house being a mess or this and that not being done. It's not easy especially when my job title is "house manager"! My husband, bless his heart, is trying so hard to take care of so much as well as me-he has been great. I am so proud of him. Tonight he didn't completely lose it when the macaroni for mac and cheese went down the drain as he was trying to drain it for me at the same time was in the middle of cleaning the turtles tank. It was one of those moments-but we got thru it and moved on. (I am almost sure it will be a funny in a few days-cause after it hit the sink and he had been draining the old water out of the tank into that sink-yuck-I wasn't sure that for a second he wasn't going to spoon the noodles up and putting it back in the pan???) LOL
So where does that leave me with the list of holiday stuff to do...not sure yet. I do have some shopping done and have been doing some online. My oldest Taylor will be finishing her 1st semester up at college this next week or so-I am hoping to enlist her assistance as well as scaling back on some of the things I normally do-there may not be Christmas cards sent this year, as many gifts bought or the elaborate decorations but that really isn't the reason for the season, as it is said. I hope to take something "good" away from this and not always look back on it as the period where I couldn't do it all. For those that know me-I do try and do it all especially at this time of year, and what usually happens is I get so exhausted and caught up in the buying I miss the joy. So more Joy is what I am hoping for this Christmas! (...and maybe a tropical, relaxing vacation????LOL)
This is also the 1st year I don't have a "believing"child in my home-kinda sad but opens up a whole new way for us to celebrate. We are doing a white elephant gift exchange with my family and mom, step-dad, sister, brother-in-law and nephews-so it should be fun. My 10 year old son Connor is a little confused about the concept but we still have a few days to help him to get it. :) We will still have our traditions of Christmas Eve-the kids get to open 2 gifts (1 is always an ornament and the other PJ's). They know this but are always excited to see. They change into their PJ's, place their ornament on the tree and we sit down and read the real Christmas story together. We will continue these traditions because it is something they have always known and feel comfortable with and hopefully start some new ones this year. I would love to do something to make them aware of others needs, so a donation in their names to a charity is one of my thoughts.
I hope to have a less stressful Christmas season full of unexpected JOY and not have such high expectations-ask me on Dec. 24th how it went???
Thanks for reading and checking in on us. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers for healing-because we are still dealing with the wounds of war-even if it isn't always in the most obvious ways.Leave me your comments and encouragement- I could really use it these days!
Keep Imagining!!!!
Tracy
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