I have been meaning to get on here and update for a few days now, but to be honest I just haven't felt much like doing it. I don't feel like there is much worth writing about that is upbeat and positive. I have had more good days lately than bad so hopefully I will get in my "groove" sooner than later. I feel so out of the loop and forgotten. We have only received 2 Christmas cards so far. I really don't want the season to be just about gifts and getting together on Christmas with extended family-I want to feel joy! I look around and see that it is the holiday season but I don't really feel it. I do miss the excitement of Christmas through a young child's eyes-I feel like I am forcing my family to enjoy any aspect of the season and it is only a little more than 2 weeks away. Rodney did get the tree up but it is still undecorated and the boxes with decorations and ornaments are just sitting in the living room. A pretty sad sight. I hope it doesn't come down to me doing all the decoration. I have tried to express my feelings about how much it means to me that we all do it together but I think my expectations are too high. Anyone else deal with this with older kids? I have really been trying to feel better and do what the Dr. says but I still feel bummed by the holidays and I feel like I am the "ringleader" in the family-so if I don't suggest it or do it-it won't happen. UGGH!
So what has been happening with us:
- Taylor made it home safe from college for winter break after her last final Saturday. It is nice to have all my kids in the same place for awhile again.
- I did get some shopping done last week with my mom and then Rodney and I went out one evening. So I have a start on that task but I worry about being able to afford the rest with only one salary and me being unable to work.
- I did get a facial and eye treatment last week that was so amazing and I loved the results. I had a gift card from my birthday from last December that was about to expire.
- Carley has had TONS of homework over the last week. She spent most of the weekend on the computer writing papers. She is such a hard worker and always strives to do her best. I do love the fact she still comes to me to proof her work at 15!
- Connor is doing very well in school still which I am so proud of him for. He is starting to spend a great deal of time on the phone sometimes even with girls!! I don't like that at all but he has always been a "ladies man" :)
- Rodney will be out-of -town most of the week for some classes to prepare him for when he is released from med-hold. I will admit I was pretty upset when I first heard about it. I think mainly because we spent so much time apart when he was deployed last year and the last month or so I have had such a difficult time with my emotions and just dealing with stress. It does help that Taylor is home and I know we will be fine...I did it for months last year I can do it for a few days.
- I have been cooking a lot, which for me is something I enjoy but is not something that happens with our busy schedule and picky eaters. We all actually sat down at the table yesterday morning for a Sunday family breakfast. It was so nice! I guess it is the little things.
- My birthday is the 18th-not looking forward to it but it will come. It does every year!LOL
I better go get ready. I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. I lost a filling a few weeks ago and finally I am going since it has been causing me pain and I am only able to chew on one side. Did I mention I dislike going to the dentist as much as I dislike winter??
I hope my next post is more positive and I can say we are enjoying the holidays. Continue to keep us in your prayers as we muddle through this crazy journey.