Thursday, November 8, 2007

Perfect Timing for a Visit


I hadn't shared yet about the trip Rod and I took last weekend. We left on Friday to go to Arkansas, which is about a 5 hour trip. It was a beautiful day and the trees were all full of fall colors. The reason for our jaunt to Arkansas was to visit my dad's grave site. My daddy passed away 4 years ago this last April from brain cancer. He was 64. My parents divorced when I was 9 years old and I had always lived with my mom. My dad and I had our ups and downs but we were alot alike in many ways..our sense of humor, our love of telling stories and talking for hours, and our love of history. I never would've imagined how difficult the grieving process for losing a parent was until I went through it. We only had 6 months with him from diagnosis till he went to heaven. He and my step-mom had moved to Arkansas for Kansas a couple years prior, which is where my dad spent much of his growing up years. My grandma, his mom, passed away only 2 months before my dad was diagnosed.
I was very close to her so it was a difficult time. I know losing both of them in a short period of time made the grief so much harder. I had only been back to Arkansas since his funeral one other time. I no longer have a relationship with my step-mom and half-sister who now live in my Grandma's home-It was always strained and I cannot do it anymore-way too toxic. So I hadn't been down to visit and stay for that reason. I knew in my heart I need to go so I picked a time for us to go and visit his grave site-I stopped and bought fall flowers for his, my grandparents and my great-grandparents graves as well as red roses for my dad. I had brought along a picture of my family which I also left. Rodney left one of his military medal and a KS national guard patch. I also buried a cross from a necklace I wore constantly during the year or so after his death until the chain broke. I hope it stays there forever. One of the cool things I wanted to share was what happened as we were driving into the cemetery.
Alittle history first: My daughter Taylor who is now 18 has a beautiful voice and sang at her grandpa's funeral service. She sang 'I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me-she was 13 at the time. So obviously the song holds a special place in my heart-and until recently couldn't even hear it on the radio without crying. I had but together a CD of songs for Taylor when she left for college in August and included this song. I made a copy of the cd for myself. I have had it in my CD player along with 5 other cd's for a couple months. I knew the song was on the cd and thought to myself during the drive wouldn't it be cool if that song played at the perfect time.
I wanted to mess with the cd to see where the song was at but something stopped me and the thought came to me "God's timing is always perfect"-the last 18 miles I had the urge to try and find the song but kept thinking "God's timing is perfect." I never said anything to Rodney but it was very much on my mind. Just as we were pulling up the hill into the cemetery-the song came on-Rodney looked at me like WOW and I said out loud- "God's Timing is Always Perfect". It made such a huge impact on me. I was very weepy at first and spent some time just sitting talking to my dad. Then I realized once again he is with me always, he is not at that place but it was nice to be able to go back and be able to leave things to remind others of how much he was loved. Another cool thing-I had put a small plastic trophy on the headstone that said "World's Greatest Grandpa" over 4 years ago-it no longer said that but the trophy was still there and someone had taped it down or glued it so it stayed. That was so awesome to see- It was something I needed to do and was so worth it.
Thanks for listening!
And keep Imagining!

(I love you Dad and miss talking and laughing with you-tell Grandma I want a chocolate pie and fried chicken whenever we all get to be together again :)-
Tracy

2 comments:

Amy said...

Happy Veterans Day to the entire family. You have served your country well and with honor. Thank you so much for your service.

Connie F-G said...

I lost my dad in April and it's funny what can make me sad and what gives me comfort. I miss him every day.

Happy Veterans Day and Thanks!

Hugs,