Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Off Active duty and Waiting for Answers

This is one of those posts that is really difficult for me to write because even thinking about the craziness of military system upsets me and I can feel myself going into panic mode. I hoped that this side of the battle would be easier and we would have guidance from some entity but unfortunately that isn't the case. Rodney has talked to many people in different capacities over the last 2 weeks and everyone has a different answer. What are our questions? Simple one..What happens to him now?
The others are about the ratings of disability for his wounds? Does he receive two ratings? One from the VA side and one from the Army? How are these ratings decided? What is the criteria for fit for duty? He has been deemed "Fit for Duty" but with a permanent profile limiting what he can do physically. My biggest question is can he be re-deployed? (remember he has a piece of shrapnel inside his heart) Rodney goes back and forth with with the deployment issue-he wants to but know how difficult everything has been due to it and being wounded. I of course fear it with my whole being! I worry about the follow up medical issues through the VA alot. We have heard so many nightmare stories-but also have heard the situation is getting better. I feel like somehow we have done something wrong over the course of the last year and a half and no one wants to speak with us. We have never to this day met another family with a wounded soldier. I feel like a freak!
I am starting to see Rodney floundering, his PTSD kicking up-he has had the military connection the whole time with working at the armoury-now he is going back to his civilian job. It is all so weird-we are in the same place we were over 2 years ago except now my husband has been to war, been wounded, and now we go back to square one?? We had started the process of buying a home but have had to put that on hold due to not knowing what he will receive in disability and we can't qualify without that extra income.
What a mess! I just want to scream because Rodney is in the place where he has to handle most of the phone calls and follow up-I can't help it seems. We argue a lot about what is happening, who he should call etc.. I am so distrustful due to the history-from day one it has been like this-a true battle. We are so tired. I wish I knew what to do. Please keep the prayers coming!
Keep Imagining!

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