Thursday, October 23, 2008

Seeing the Big Picture

First I want to thank all my blog friends that left me comments-it helped me remember I am only one person, I am human and there is so much that is underlying issues from the last 2 1/2 years. Things just got so out of control last night I couldn't see the "big picture".

I spent sometime today (actually a few hours) on the phone with different agencies to figure out where this journey goes now. I spoke with a nurse from the VA-Rodney needs more evaluation on possible brain injury from the blast-which would explain some of his actions of recent. The nurse also is getting us started on getting the primary dr. set up and getting us into counseling (an obvious need). I also spoke to another wounded soldier-he gave me insight into Rodney is feeling. I then spoke with a advocate from AW2 which hopefully help us with the process of what comes next with the Army/National Guard side. She is doing some research and talking to some people in DC to figure out what would be the best situation for Rodney as well as our family.

I think Rod is really having issue with leaving the army-not being a soldier anymore-losing his identity. I get that more today. Doesn't change the fact that last night was crazy but at least gives me an explanation of why things are going so out of control now.
We as a family have to deal with daily life which can be so stressful, but we still
have so much on top of the heap of the emotional fallout from trauma of what happened 2 years ago-forgetting that and not recognizing why things continue to occur in the emotional department is not working-we need to be aware and vigilant to heal. I sound so profound today:) Sounds so easy when I am not in chaos and really pissed :) but I am going to try!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

4 comments:

MommaSuds said...

I just hope things start to come together for you all.I am sure it is going to be difficult to try and find some sense of normal.Although I know it will never be the same kind of normal.I hope the counseling helps.

Ya'll take care!

joanne said...

O.K., I had to get caught up with yesterday and today's post.
I am so glad that you are stepping back a little and at the same time reaching out. You ALL need to be talking to some one (not friends or relatives) at this point. There is so much to deal with...and a lot of anger (rightfully so). The fact that you made it through another day is testament enough that you are willing to save your family and yourself. Hang in there Tracy...I have every hope that everthing will work out for you all. Please take care of yourself...

Laura ~Peach~ said...

hugs and prayers~ Laura

Tonjia said...

I think you all sound like an extrememly strong family. Everyone has their "dysfunctional" times, except most of us cannot look back and realize how much we have already overcome.

Try to gain strength from each other, hug your kids and hold your husband. You all need a chance to continue healing....