Randomness About ?

I have felt the call of the "blog" all day but I wasn't feeling what to write about. Still pretty uninspired..so I was thinking about an update of the random things that have been happening in our lives. Hopefully I will start to feel more motivated some time this week to write something a little more exciting but for now this is it.

* I really cannot believe September is over-tomorrow October begins I need to get out my fall decorations-which I love but it is not my favorite month since we are coming up on Oct. 12th-the anniversary of Rodney being wounded. I started my blog around this time last year-so that's a better anniversary to celebrate.

* I haven't talked much about Taylor over the last few months. Taylor and her boyfriend of 3 years (now her fiance) are engaged.They have been since August. Let's just say I have had more than a hard time accepting that fact because she is so young (19) and still in school. It has nothing to do with Bryan-I care for him and he is a great guy. I just don't feel they are ready-in other words I had my own ideas about what I thought her life should look like. I know that is probably in the not to do in the good parenting guide. I am supporting her in her decisions as best I can. She did make some decisions that I did not agree with pertaining to school. She decided to commute an hour each way to school in Topeka, 3 days a week instead of live there. I thought this stupid-point blank. The price of gas and the time she would spend driving to and from. I could not support it. I felt she was just using home as a hotel and wasn't helping out and wasn't taking responsibility for even her living space here. I basically told her-live at school or find some where else to live-you cannot imagine how it broke my heart-I was telling my baby girl she couldn't live at home. The amazing thing is that she has become a more responsible young woman-she bought a newer more gas efficient car on her own, works every day at a day care, goes to school MWF, and pays her own bills. She and her fiance are living with his sister and kids. She seems ok. She is learning how to manage her own life. I miss her so much sometimes but I know she has to do what she has to do-good or bad she has to make the mistakes and learn from them. She still does need her momma though...she is not feeling well at all right now. fever, body aches, cough and chills. She didn't go to work obviously so she called me to come get her and take care of her. I did and it was so nice-we love spending time together now. Not sure how things will work out with her and Bryan or when they will get married, but I do know SHE STILL NEEDS ME SOMETIMES! WOOOOOHOOO!

* Rodney signed the paperwork yesterday to apply to be put into a Wounded Warrior Transition Unit and be on active duty orders. This will mean he will get all the medical issues re-looked at and taken care of by the Army. Pray he is accepted.
It will mean he has to live at the Fort but it will mean he will receive the care he needs and deserves. We will deal with the distance-It won't be Iraq!

* I am the volunteer parent meal coordinator for the High School band. I organized a picnic for the band kids and families last Saturday. It turned out to be an awesome day and I think everyone had fun and there fill of food. Taylor was helping me (which was very cool). She said afterwards that she enjoyed seeing me in my element again. I don't think I have shared that I used to have a career I loved.
I worked for a Parks and Recreation department for 10 years. I did many special events right in the same park I did this BBQ/picnic. I did feel a little like me again. having something to concentrate on does help me not be so focused on all the military crap-can't be a bad thing!

* Carley is busy, busy busy! She has so much going on I hardly see her for more than an hour or so each evening. She is growing up too! She will be Sweet 16 in November. I wish I could afford to give her a big b-day bash but with the way the checkbook looks these days that isn't going to happen.

* Connor is going through a growth spurt. He is eating me out of house and home. He is only 11 and he is already 5 ft. 3 inches! He grew an inch over the last month!
Seriously he is as tall as Carley now! I measured them back to back on Labor day weekend and he was still shorter than her-not now! Connor is very skinny but all muscle-he has a six pack at his age. He has a giant foot too-size 7 1/2!
He is busy with soccer and will play year round now except during baseball season.
We need to keep him busy or he finds too much trouble-he is my challenging child-but he is also very funny and knows it. What is the deal with pre-teen boys and their body functions being so damn funny- especially around your mom and sister?

Well that was longer than I thought but still random.
Have a great Wednesday!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

My Photo Mosaic-Want to try?

I found this really cool deal to make a mosaic on flickr. Kinda fun-really fun for me since I LOVE to create!
How to Play: Instructions Here.

Answer these questions: Here are mine....
1.)Your First Name? Tracy
2.)Favorite Food? Mexican food
3.)Where you went to High School? Gardner, KS
4.)Favorite Color?Purple
5.)Celebrity Crush? Matthew
6.)Favorite Drink?Pepsi
7.)Dream Vacation? Tropical
8.)Fav Dessert? Chocolate Pie
9.)What you want to be when you grow up? Laughing and Loved
10.)What you love most in life? my family
11.)Word to describe yourself? Waiting
12.) Flickr sign in name (or I used favorite word)? imagine


Enjoy!


Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

A Song Brought It Back..

I cried today-I cried like I did so many times while Rodney was deployed, when he was so far away from home, so far away from me. That time from June 6 until October 12,2006 is a part of my life in which I was sure my heart would break in two. Music was something I relied strongly on during this time-there are so many songs that I related to.Most of them sad songs about missing someone-which I was! I avoid those songs a lot now-but sometimes they play and catch me off guard-like today- I sobbed just like I would when he was deployed even though I loved the songs and in some ways the music was the only thing that comforted me. I am one of those people that recalls how old I was, where I was, what I was doing by the music that was playing on the radio. I heard one of the songs today: "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down.
It brought back those memories-and what do I remember...

I had no real idea how much I loved my husband until he was gone-and not a daily part of our family. I lived for phone calls, emails, cards & letters, instant messages-any kind of contact was what I lived for. I felt like a lost teenage girl again-in love but unable to be with the object of my affection. When we did see each other on leave and visits-it was incredible and so special.

My life during deployment turned into a chance for me to grow as a person-I cleaned, organized, decorated my house, learned a lot about Iraq on the Internet :), I was learning to be an army wife. I took much better care of myself because I wanted him to come home to me and be proud of me. I joined a gym, I got spray on tans, I bought new clothes and I got a tattoo. I thought of him constantly-care packages (which I loved putting together for him!)made videos and cd's for him, I wrote letter & emails, I took 2 trips to see him in Mississippi in 3 months. I was so focused on making our life the best when he finally returned home.

Weird now to look back-I was growing and I was so in love during a period where I worried, cried and waited-and waited. I had my kids(they were such a comfort and made me laugh when I needed to)-I had to keep going-I knew the deployment would be over-there was a ending to it even if 12-15 months felt like an eternity.
Now I am still waiting for my husband to return home-even though he lives here.
Thing is that those people (the deployment Rodney and Tracy) don't exist any longer-that makes me sad. We were good to each other and for each other.

So I actually now look back at deployment as a hard thing, but it was a time where I also had so much hope and I was still innocent and naive to the ways of the Army world. So even though I cry when a song plays it makes me remember how the heart did grow fonder when he was away. We can't forget..how much we missed each other.

We will make it through this and come out stronger on the other side. I have to believe that-maybe I need to find a song that helps me believe that.


Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Rodney Still Waiting

Not anything to exciting happening with Rod, (he did go back again to his civilian job today after the hurricane assistance deployment),but since I hadn't mentioned it since the beginning of the month I thought I would give you all a short update. He went to his civilian primary dr. last week and had a full physical. The dr. filled out what is called a physician statement. It states all of his medical issues that are still present or that have gotten worse since being let off of medhold in March. The dr. had pretty much point blank say how each issue was a result of being wounded in action and/or service related. It was faxed to the State Surgeons office and will go to a board to see if they agree he needs to be put back on orders and all of the medical issues taken care of.This is all supposed to be expedited from here. We will see. I really hope so!!! We just want something positive to happen and get on down the road and know he will be taken care of for life and that financially he receive what is coming to him benefit wise. I know the economy more than stinks right now-for us it has especially during the last 2 years.

Rodney's Wounds Such as:
1. A hernia that is 3x time larger (located in the abdominal incision that was done in Iraq to save his life) and obviously needs to be surgically repaired.
The dr. told him not to do sit up or exercise that uses the stomach muscles. He is also supposed to be very cautious with lifting.

2. Chronic outer ear infections (they started after his return home and we have been told there is some sort of bacteria in the dirt in Iraq that can do funky things).

3.The PTSD(he has had several episodes in recent months during thunder storms).

4. Rehab on his legs-they hurt and bother him on a daily basis. Never properly rehabbed so still very weak muscles-and nerve damage around his knee where he cannot feel even a needle stick.

5. The bleeding heavily and bruising easily issue.

I think those are the major things-at least all I can think of for now. My memory isn't working at tip top shape these days. I am so tired of worrying about medical issues, going to dr. appt.s etc.. With getting old, the stress and his wounds it seems like that is our main topic of conversation is health!

Wonder when will I start talking about the weather all the time (remember that really cold Fall in 1995) and telling my kids about their cousin in Arkansas they met once, just like my Grandma used to do soon. LOL
I could do worse my Grandma was a fun and loving person that always made me laugh.
I would love to laugh-that would feel really good!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Following the Procedures...

I cannot believe it is Tuesday already-things have been not so good around here-I had the procedures done last Friday.
I survived through the prep which is never a good time. Taylor was here bright and early Friday morning to escort her mama to the hospital. I wasn't worried-except for one certain detail-I wanted to be sure and go to sleep during the procedures because of last time..I did not want a repeat performance. Well...guess what..
It was so much worse. I remember every horrible, painful minute! Can you freaking believe it! They gave me everything sedation wise they could-and I remember. It was not pretty-I came out crying. No one even acknowledged that I was aware of what was going on. As far as the test results-the colonoscopy was clean but the endoscopy showed that I had some major inflammation going on, with what could be the start of some ulcers. Loverly! Stress and Pepsi apparently aren't the best coping skills used in everyday life! I knew my body was not dealing with the stress of the last year and a half-but now I know for sure.

But the story doesn't end there-oh no-it seems my dr. was a little rough with the colonoscopy (I remember)-I have been given several versions of why what happened to me happened but I really think I will not have another one! I have been in pain and running a fever until today.

I went to my primary dr. yesterday...well he ordered me in! He sent me over for a cat scan after finding no real bowel sounds and because my abdomen was super sensitive to touch.

5 hours later Rodney and I are finally on our way home-the results not as bad as we expected (not the Dr. expected)-I have inflammation in the upper part of my colon and my liver enzymes were elevated in my blood tests. Feeling better today but who would have thought it would take 4-5 days to recover from a routine procedure.

So lots of fluids and rest and see the dr. again next week.
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Immediate Prayers Needed for Nephew

UPDATE: 9/21/2008 Ethan is home with his parents doing much better. He was released after they did many tests. They think it was heat exhaustion and dehydration. He needs some rest and to follow up with his dr. here at home. He most likely won't be running for a while till his body recovers. Praying he will be able to return to the sport he loves.
Ethan and his family on H. S. Graduation Day

My nephew, Ethan, who is a freshman in college and on the cross country team collapsed this morning after running a race in Joplin, Mo. My sister and Brother-in-law were there. My sister rode in the ambulance with Ethan. He was having difficulty breathing and wasn't opening up his eyes to respond. He has a history of asthma. We don't know much at this point. Please pray that he will be ok!!!!
Thanks so much!
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Big Plans for Tommorow

I have big plans for Friday early am-but it is something no one looks forward to I am almost certain-the dreaded (drum roll) Colonoscopy! I will also have the privilege of having something stuck down my throat-an endoscopy. I have been having stomach and intestinal issues so they are just making sure everything is a ok. I also have some family history.

I have had one previously- it was not a pleasant experience. No worse than just the routine procedure-I didn't go to SLEEP! I was awake and aware of what was happening. This ain't happening tomorrow-I want to be knocked out-even if they have to hit me over the head with a hammer.

My Taylor is taking me-brave 19 year old taking care of her momma after she is all looped out on some good drugs (hopefully).

I have already done the prep which is a type of torture I am sure-trying to drowned me in Gatorade mixed with laxative-1 gallon in 2 hours-didn't look so hard until your realize just how much fluid that really is way too much! The good news is I am good and cleaned out-probably TMI but hey as we get older some of the bodily function thing we go through don't seem like such a huge deal.

I have read they are coming up with a better way to do this who deal-sooner better than later would be good

So if you could send up a few prayers for me in the am-much appreciated!
Oh and if you have family history of colon cancer or polyps-get tested, it is uncomfortable and a little embarrasing, but who cares your health is more important-right? Didn't some celebrity have one and broadcast it live-Katie Couric?

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Friday Night H. S. Football on Monday Night

Band, FB players and Color Guard-the H. S. Football Game Experience


Carley with Color Guard performing school fight song


Carley riding her "Wicked" witch broom

Be prepared for a long story-Ready! Set! Hike!
Last Friday night was our high school's home opener and the community was geared up and ready to roll. Go Trailblazers!!!! I was excited to see Miss Carley perform in her first FB half-time show as a color guard member.

Yeah it had been raining and I was a little concerned but never in 30 years had a FB game been cancelled due to weather. So we were a go- I was there early in my band parent in charge of meals mode, making sure 130 band students were feed before they changed into their uniforms for the big half-time show featuring songs from the musical "Wicked" (this is an important part of the story to recall later :)

I had been conferring with parents all week via email and we were set-all my helpers in place, the sloppy Joe's, potato salad, veggies and dip, fruit plates, chip and cookies as well as drinks were ready to go-I was thrilled that I had pulled it all together on my first time doing the job. We have great band parents!

The kids were starting to fill up there plates and eat. Connor was with me, waiting for his dad to come pick him up-he was being his regular annoying 11 year old self.

Carley had drove home to get part of her color guard uniform and was stopping to get something to eat-because she is miss picky pants when it comes to what she eats-no really she is so, so, picky-so she wasn't back at the school yet. Rodney had just arrived.

Then things got a little exciting-people were yelling and saying go to the storm shelter, keep the kids orderly, keep them quiet-we can't hear that the tornado sirens are even going off in the school. I am thinking you have got to be kidding me! I don't know where Carley is, Rodney takes off to do his manly version of watching for twisters and Connor and I proceed downstairs to the stinky locker rooms with over 130 kids and parents while their food sat upstairs on the tables. It was annoying but for safety and all-we did what we needed to do. I just tried to breath through my mouth and manage an 11 year old who doesn't do standing in one place for very long well.

We got the all-clear and returned to the commons to finish serving food. I swear to you it wasn't 10 minutes later and we again had to take cover-the kids leaving there food behind again! This time was for a much longer period-we heard there were 4 tornado's that touched down in surrounding communities. Game was still on though-just postponed for a 1/2 hour. So we waited again..... finally we were able to go upstairs and finish getting the kids fed and start cleaning up.

We did really well on predicting how much food we would need-didn't have much left over. The band kids are back getting dressed. The color guard had on their makeup.
Everyone was ready to go. I was heading out the door to go home and change and pick up Rodney who had left with Connor earlier-when what to you think happened..
They cancelled the game! First time in 30 years-no due to rain, not due to snow but due to tornado's! I can't help but wonder if it was from the huge Hurricane Ike in the gulf-some of the bands reaching clear up to the Midwest.

Remember the "Wicked" reference-well it is loosely based on the Wizard of Oz but from the witches point of view-"Wizard of Oz"-tornado's-Kansas: We had it all-The weather changed many peoples plans on Friday night..but we made it up and did Monday Night Football instead and we won the game plus the half-time show was awesome.
So all is good! We don't have another home game until October 3rd-probably will snow!

Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Just thinking...

The waves seen from a Galveston pier on a rainy day in March 2008 and waves hitting rocks on that same rough surf day
The Dolphin Statue that sits (still) by the seawall built in 1902 in Galveston

Rodney's unit returned today after leaving on Tuesday the 2nd to offer emergency assistance and management in Louisiana after Hurricane Gustav. Rodney did not go due to his ongoing medical status, but has worked rear-detachment at the armoury to assist in whatever the unit needed done from base. He has been doing all the paperwork and administrative work. He has been working 7 a week just like them so it was the kind of deployment that National Guard is supposed to do-help at home, in our country whenever needed. I don't understand why they didn't go from where they were over to help in Texas,but obviously it wasn't my call.

I have been following the devastation in Galveston and surrounding areas-I am taken aback by the destruction and havoc that is now the life's of residents that make their homes there. I am thankful that the death toll has been low.
I am so upset that I can't really do anything to help these people who will be in shelters indefinitely. There is nothing for these people to do but wait and all I can do is pray. I want so bad to do something-we don't have much but we have 3 beds that aren't being slept in-it makes me feel helpless.
I have looked for landmarks I recognize from Galveston or Surfside Beach (I have a park sticker on my vehicle for a year-don't think we will be visiting that beach anytime soon.)-there aren't many left-I did see the Dolphin statue. I know what the seawall looks like and I know how rough the waves are in that area even on a slightly stormy day.

I know what hurricanes can do-no I haven't lived through one-but a year after Katrina hit Mississippi and Louisiana-Rodney was training at Camp Shelby. On a visit over the 4th of July 2006-I saw what Gulfport, Mississippi looked like and I saw the devastation still in New Orleans. It breaks my heart-I love the ocean and it's beauty and mystery, I love the beach-the air,the wildlife,sand, sun,seashells-all of it,the Hurricanes make living on the Gulf and close to the shoreline-risky and unsafe every once in awhile-but it still doesn't stop my fascination for wanting to live there-I understand why the residents live where they do even though it doesn't make sense to so many.I grieve today for the people who are living thru this nightmare and I grieve for what can and won't be-rebuilt.

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Galveston on my mind

I have been watching the weather and I am very concerned about Hurricane Ike's path right into one of my favorite spots to visit. We spent this last spring break there and had a great, relaxing time with my mom and Carley. I had visited there many years previous as a college student-not that I remember too much about that particular visit other than there was a beach and they sold beer.:)
I have read a great deal about the 1900 Hurricane that killed 6000 and destroyed a lot of the city. There are some amazing old buildings there I cannot imagine never seeing again. Luckily there much more sophisticated weather prediction now so people are safer, but it doesn't change the destruction ability of the storm. They built the sea wall-but I wonder if it is tall enough. I love this city!
On MSN news they said that this is the storm the people of Galveston prayed would never happen. I pray most people in the area have taken the advice of evacuating. I just can't imagine what the Texas Gulf coast(including Houston and Corpus) will look like when this horrible storm is over. It just isn't getting the media attention that anything going towards Louisiana has. We even heard yesterday that Rodney's guard unit was heading back today-seems like they should be moving closer to where there is going to be more people in need in a few short hours.
Praying Ike will fizzle out...If you live in that area stay safe and I am thinking about you and your homes.
Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

How I Remember 9/11/2001

In 2001 I was a real estate agent and a stay-at-home mom. My son Connor was 4 years old and he was home with me getting started with our day. He was watching cartoons on a cable channel and playing in the living room as I was getting dressed in the bedroom. The girls were both at their schools-Taylor was in 7th grade and Carley in 3rd. Rodney was working 3rd shift so he wasn't home from work yet. It was a normal day for us. That soon changed as it did the world. Time stood still that day as we watched in horror the unbelievable events happen one right after another.

I wasn't aware of anything going on until my mom called me-which she did when Columbine and the Oklahoma bombing happened as well. At this point we really didn't understand the magnitude of the situation so all I heard was a plane has hit the World Trade Center-I thought, how weird is that? I turned on the TV in the bedroom-and starting watching what had already unfolded. It was unfathomable, but at this point no one, even the news anchor was suggesting that this was a planned act of evil. A plane had hit one of the towers-I kept thinking how could this happen. Rodney came home shortly and had already heard on the radio what had occurred.

We sat together in the bedroom and watched- we watched... and as if in slow motion through live footage we see the shadow of another plane then it appears and flies right into the other tower. Our minds could not comprehend what had just happened-we started trying to figure out what could possibly be going on-but both realizing at the same time these acts were deliberate. But why??? I remembered that years prior while watching "Donahue" seeing people who worked in the World Trade Center coming on the show live talking about there being a bomb. I realized as did Rodney in a split second what had just happened on American soil, but we didn't have the mindset back then to know human beings were capable of such acts of destruction and indifference to so many lives lost for a cause or agenda in our country.

The news stations were all going crazy with reports-I sat and cried. I don't ever remember being so afraid and confused. I was so much in shock about the possible loss of lives, never imagining that the number would be so great. My heart was heavy knowing that there were innocent people on those planes and in those buildings that were so tall.So many people! So many questions about what would happen next- we watched it all, the people yelling out the windows, people jumping, the firefighters, EMS and police going into rescue lives, we saw each building collapse, we saw people running in the cloud of debris and dust, we saw the pentagon burning and the rescue efforts there, we followed the story of flight 93. We waited for the next strike to happen. Where would it be? So much was happening at the same time-which was the plan to cause fear,terror and confusion. We were glued to the TV-our country was under attack. I cried for my children and the world they were now living in-one more piece of innocence they knew was gone from the earth. I felt such a strong need to go and get the girls-I was in a panic that some how their schools were next. I wanted to protect them-to have all 3 of my babies with me, like it was the end of the world. I calmed down and rationally decided to leave them at school away from all the media coverage that was being shown over and over again. I put VHS Disney movie tapes in for Connor to protect him from from the horror as long as possible, but he does remember that day.

I tried to go about my day, but I was in a place where I couldn't make sense of any of it. Normal things like lunch and nap needed to happen. The phone rang and it was our vet.I was taken back by the idea someone was calling about something other than what we were seeing on TV. He was calling, doing his job. We had taken in my 14 year old cat a few days prior to be looked at-he had a mass on his neck. The vet was calling to tell me that my first baby-Spencer had cancer. I barely even recall speaking to the Dr. or asking questions-but as I listened to bad news it all seemed surreal to what was going on in the world around me. I was trying to act normal, but this wasn't normal.

Later when it was time to pick up the girls-I was so thankful. I went to Taylor's school first. She knew what had happened and they had actually allowed them to watch some of the coverage. She had questions and I tried to answer them-but no one knew really what had happened and why. We went to Carley's school and she of course had no idea.They had left that up to the parents to handle, which was a blessing.I could explain to her in a way she would understand but not be scared-I hoped. Then it became obvious even in our little town in Kansas, that people were freaked out. The gas stations had really long lines, the grocery store was super busy-it was crazy!There was the feel of panic in the air. I took the kids to the video store to pick out movies so they weren't bombarded all evening with the details and footage of what was happening and had happened.

The media coverage for me became an obsession-I followed the news late into the night and for many days to come. There were two things I had the hardest time wrapping my mind around-the fact that there wasn't anything recognizable from the buildings on the ground, nor were there many people being rescued nor were their bodies- most everything just evaporated and was gone. The other item was when they told us days later how long it would take to clean up the site-I don't remember the exact time frame, but it blew my mind. I still cannot fully understand the magnitude of what happened, I can't believe it is 7 years later, it still gives me a knot in my stomach and a sick feeling.
I didn't know anyone personally in the planes or in the buildings.I have read many books and articles. My heart goes out to those that did lose someone or more even than just a single person-some lost entire parts of their family.The grief must at times be unbearable. On the anniversary of this horrific tragedy,a day that will forever be etched in our history-I am sad for familiesand friends, I am mad for them... Their worlds changed beyond what I will ever hopefully know.

Mine changed with the loss of innocence,a different outlook on how quickly life can change, a new awareness of my surroundings,a new understanding of what is terrorism, a few inconveniences at the airport, the realization that something like this could happen anywhere at anytime, knowing war was something that my kids were going to know in their lifetime, that I was never going to see the NY skyline the way it should still be and that 9/11 was the day my husband started considering going back into the army. He did go in and was wounded in the war but when I look at it in perspective we are so blessed. Our loved one came home.

I just wanted to recognize this day-because we should never forget the lives lost nor the act of evil by terrorists. There were too many lives lost and too many lessons learned. For me there will always be the before 9/11 and after 9/11.

What were you doing that day 7 years ago?

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Girl in Red

My child is spreading her thespian wings once again-Carley has a lead part in the Fall H. S. musical. She actually will have lines as well as be singing a ....solo! She will play "Little Red Riding Hood".
She almost didn't try out after not making the tennis team but she says I made her try out-well my making her how ever I did that got her a part she is so very excited about. The play is "Into the Woods" which I have never heard of nor seen. The director is new this year and has won awards directing this show previously. So I am looking forward to seeing it!

Actually when I found out over the phone while driving down the interstate-I screamed and said "good things can happen to our family". So I live for more exciting good things in the future.Please! I need some fun and good news!!!!

Trying to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Feelings

Feeling many emotions all at the same time today-and it isn't the joyful, fun kind.
disheartened, sad, defeated, exhausted, betrayed, anxious, frustrated, angry, helpless, shocked, like I had the wind knocked out of me for the millionth time.
I am so tired of people in our lives not trying to understand, I am tired of waiting for our life to continue instead of be on pause, I am tired of putting my hope in a person who says they will help and they turn on us to save their own ass, I am tired of no one being held accountable for their actions, I am tired of people telling me to be patient that the system works slow-DUH!I am tired of being the cheerleader, I am tired of having no one to call nor knowing what to do or say if I am dealing with a PTSD moment (Rodney's or mine). I am tired of feeling like somehow our situation is our fault. I am tired of being treated like an irrational wife. I am just tired of being stressed.
I know we are blessed and we are lucky that Rodney is alive.
I just want our life back to before we were a family of a wounded warrior-I want to not think about working the system every morning and night. I want it to be over. I want to feel happy, I want to feel proud to be an army wife, I want to not feel like throwing in the towel.

TRYING to Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Ready For Some SOCCER!

Edit update: Connor's team tied their final game also. 0-0. So three ties for the tourney-better than losses!
Practicing before the game!
After Booting the Ball down field!
Connor playing GOALIE-ready for some action!

Fancy Footwork!
Soccer season is in full swing for Connor. This weekend he had a tournament (Prison Break Tournament held in Leavenworth-a play on words since there are 2 prisons in Leavenworth- :)-today they are playing their final game. I didn't go today just too much to catch up on and I am the person in charge of planning the meal for the H. S. band members (130) for the game this coming Friday night-I had to get on that. Rodney is on orders so he is home at night but has to work 7 days a week until this emergency hurricane assistance deployment is over.So thank goodness for Grandma/mam-mam-she took Connor as well as Carley and BF Chris to the game.
Anyway the Connor's Team tied both their games so they didn't have enough points to move up in the tourney. Those boys played their hearts out and obviously held the competition just didn't score those points to win. I can really see an improvement over last year. It was fun but a long drive each day-an hour there and an hour back.
Love to see my boo play his favorite sport! He had a Friend/team-mate spend the night last night so he has had a good weekend.

PS Keep my nephew Zach in your prayers had emergency surgery Friday night to have his appendix out. He is doing OK but will be a hardship on him to miss the time off work for him to recover. Saw him in the hospital last evening-he was pretty out of it! Had to leave his 22nd b-day party to be taken to the ER-but a very good thing he did!

Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Labor Day 2008

We spent some time at Hillsdale Lake-soaking up the sun over Labor day weekend. Between my sister, nephew and us we had three sweet puppies with us. My nephew's Zach is the newest edition. she is named Bailey and is 4 months old. We aren't sure what her breed mix is-we were told chi sp?(little taco bell dog??) and terrier. To me she looks like a little deer! She can jump really high and is a hoot to watch. She actually dove off the front of the fishing boat! So the end of summer wrapped up in one weekend-we missed Taylor though-she had to work. Oh I almost forgot...Happy belated Birthday to Zachary who turned 22! I was 22 when he was born-pretty wild how time has flown-they always said it would and I didn't believe them! Enjoy the slideshow!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Basketball Video for Coach Bechard

This video was created and shared on youtube-it is obviously about the 1996 State Champion basketball team and their one-of-a kind coach! I remember that season very well, because at the time I was still working for Gardner Parks and Recreation and my coworkers brother was on the team. I even helped design the rowdy rag that fans had at the games. It was a very exciting time for Gardner. Coach Don Bechard was inducted into the GEHS Athletic Hall of Fame last evening at the Hospice House. It was a well deserved award for a man who has made such a difference in GEHS athletics and the community as a whole. He is still inspiring so many with his continued amazing fighting spirit-I have read most of the comments on his caringbridge site (I am still getting so many hits-hopefully I helped by showing some the way to his site)-Don & his family are so loved by all-that is obvious.
I wish I would of had the opportunity to know him better.
Enjoy the video-I did! Gardner has changed some in last 12 years.

Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Not Going to Louisiana!

Rodney just came home after a long day at the armoury getting all the paperwork together for the unit to go to Louisiana in the am. Rodney is not able to go due to his condition-he has a cpap machine (there will no electricity in the tents), he can't lift or be in a vehicle for 24 hours with his legs the way they still are,and he also has an issue with bleeding heavily still when cut at all (bled for 25 minutes from a bug bite on his ear?? the other day). So his Lt. Col. said you are not going Spc. Price you still have issues! He will be working at the rear-detachment while the unit is gone. He is happier tonight-he was really stressed out and worried. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.
Tommorow we start the fight to find out when and what is going to happen with him-disability or temp retired list or whatever is supposed to happen.
Keep Imagining!
Tracy

Gustav Assistance

3:40pm update: I just spoke with Rodney and they are still in Kansas preparing to go-paperwork, yada, yada, yada... I asked him if they were for sure going and he said they were leaving tommorow and it would be about a 24 hour drive in military vehicles-after looking at the news online I am not seeing why they would be going still. I really don't want him to go due to health issues still outstanding-but with it being Labor Day there is no one with any say so around. Just have to wait and see what happens.

Rodney just left to go with his National Guard unit to the gulf area to do damage control and help out in any way they can. We were very surprised he was called up to go since he still have so many issues with his wounds from 20 months ago but he is on his way with a temp. profile stating he can do less than the normal soldier would be expected to do. Kind of a strange feeling having him leave in uniform again and go some where on orders after everything that has happened and is still happening with trying to get his medical condition taken care of. That will be on hold for now. Pray for the safety of the soldiers and those who live in the gulf area especially in New Orleans. I will keep you all updated as I know more about the units status as they help out with damage done by Gustav.
Keep Imagining!
Tracy